Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
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WGMY 104.1

Member Since: Thu Nov 18, 2010
Posts: 281
In Reply To
L!

Location: Seattle, Washington
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,038
Subj: It's like they'd never been gone...
Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2016 at 06:23:22 am EST (Viewed 447 times)
Reply Subj: Chad & Ronnie Return AGAIN: The Waiting is over but the Journey continues!
Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2015 at 04:29:59 pm EST (Viewed 503 times)

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The Hell's Bathroom neighborhood of Parrodipolis.
Around 5:02 p.m.
The Essex Theater.

For decades it was home to some of the best off-off-off way off Broadway shows to come through town. Many people who went on to be somewhat well known started out at the Essex, none of them are many alive today. Around the time the Great Depression happened, the placed closed down for a bit & then open again in the 1950's as a movie theater. What was being played changed between their walls when the building was sold in the 1970’s. It went from being the Essex Theater to the EsseXXX Theater & became one of the city's premiere theaters for films of an Adult nature. This of course didn't last long, due mostly to public outcry. This might be Hell’s Bathroom but they have standards! The theater was shut down once again & became run down. It became a haven for the homeless. That is how it stood until it was bought once more & reconstruction began on the old building. The Essex Theater was now the home to the First Church of The Glorious Duo.

In the back of the former theater/current chapel where the former dressing rooms turned storage rooms now turned in cloister rooms are few dozen cots. There are the cots most of the times are The Seers. They help guide the church. The Head Seer did not have a cot, he didn’t believe in a such a thing. He felt that the act of laying down among the other Seers was not befitting his role in the church. The Head Seer was wearing nothing but a pair of stained white briefs, a dirty pair of tube socks & his ceremonial robe which was undone (it looked very much like a dirty terry cloth bathrobe). He was slumped over in his seat of power, his head flopped to one side. His fingers making tiny circling movements. One could almost think that he was writing out something in the air. His mouth was hanging open, discharging a long string of drool. His eyes had rolled back into his head.

The Head Seer then stood up & screamed. This did not alarm anyone there, he did that quite frequently. Different screams meant different things. This particular scream caused the Records Keepers to enter the room. A vision was incoming.

Two Record Keepers came with their pads of paper & collections of writing implements. They to were wearing their probably terry cloth bathrobe ceremonial robes. Their robes were a lot more cleaner then the Head Seer’s robe & were tie up around their waists. As they entered the room the kicked over a few dozen empty bottles that littered the floor of the cloister room. Behind them they carrier in their stools. Sometimes there was long pauses in-between burst of prophecy. They put down their stool & sat before the still screaming Head Seer. Almost sensing they were ready to jot down what he had to say, he stopped screaming. His eyes were still rolled back in his head & the drool continued to exit his mouth he began to speak:

“The Glorious Duo who have been taken from our fallen dimension many years ago are returning this very Chrismahannaqwanza season. All praise be to the Duo!”

The two Keepers looked at each other. The one of the right shrugged. This was a common yet unfulfilled vision.

“The Mute Musician, The Bicolored Teller of Tales, His consort, the Sacred Pet & The Geek have been trapped. Trapped beyond our reaches. How low can they go. How low can they go? They are trapped on the outside. They say Hello from the Outside. They are the ones we are looking for. They are waiting. Forever waiting.”

The Keepers paid a bit more attention since this is a bit more then the Seer has said in the past.

“The Quintet are being helped by one that had past on from this fallen dimension many years ago. He is one that possesses great knowledge. One that knows it all!”

The Keepers continue to write down the vision.

“All previous attempts to free themselves have failed. The Knowledge they seek is beyond them. They wait, They wonder.”

The Seer’s tone changes “Why?”

“Why are we still here? I’ve tried everything!”

The tone is unfamiliar to the Keepers. The Seer flips his head to the other side & his tone changes to one more familiar. It’s one that he has been known to use when channeling the Bicolored Teller of Tales “If you tried everything, we wouldn’t still be here. Would we?”

The Seer then flips his back, his tone changes & he raises his voice. This has come to mean that he is channeling a female now “What I want to know is why your even here? Your dead! You have been for years. I saw your the funeral on TV!"

There was a brief pause & he said in the same tone "Oh crap… are we dead?”

The Seer’s head flips to the original position & tone. “yes. You’ve died along with your luggage & heaven is a waiting room.”

Even through his eyes were still rolled back in his head, the Keepers noticed that he had rolled his eyes in disgust.

He flips his head back & is back using the female tone, “If we aren’t dead explain why I have a dead man sitting next me to, Mr Smartypants?”

The Seer flips back to the first position & tone he’s using for the the Bicolored Teller of Tales “no. His name is Mr. Know-it-all!”

A different female tone was then used & the Seer’s head had flipped forward all the way. All the flipping of the Seer’s head was causing his drool to be flung all over the room. “I thought his name was Bookman?”

The Seer raises up his head & returns to his normal vocal tone

“The Sextet..” The Seer stopped to giggle before continuing “...are returning to our fallen dimension. Returning this very Chrismahannaqwanza season. All praise be to the Duo! The chair shall lead the way!”

The Keeper look at each other. The one of the left shrugged this time.

“GATWICK!” The Seer screamed before falling back in a slump onto his seat of power.

The two Keepers kept looking at each other & then back as the seemingly passed out Seer. Once they heard snoring they knew no more visions were forth coming.

---------------


Gatwick Airport.
Horley, West Sussex, United Kingdom.
Baggage Claim
Not on the same day but at the same time: 5:02 pm

There is no one about. Just then a door marked “Employees Only” flies open. A sudden gust of wind kicks up out of nowhere. On the other side of the door in a white nothingness. From the nothingness, out comes 4 people. They tumble to the ground in a pile.

On the bottom of the pile is was a man dressed in a burgundy red knee length trench coat. Under that was a sangria red/mustard yellow striped knit sweater vest. Under the vest is a fire engine red dress shirt & his mustard yellow bow tie was tilted to the left a bit. He had a pair of high water neon yellow tweed slacks with a black plastic belt. On his feet were a dirty pair of red Chuck Taylor All-Star tennis shoes. Inside the shoes were a pair of red & yellow striped knit socks. His hair was a maroon colored messy attempt at a pompadour. As he hits the ground a pair of glasses flew off his face. They were the kind that would would get at movie theaters if you were going to see a 3-D movie.

Landing on top of him was a man with messy, dark brown hair & a pair of black horned rimmed glasses which were slightly askew from the landing. His glasses did not fly off his head. He was dressed in a greying black hoodie, it was not zipped up. Under the hoodie was a black t-shirt that read “Waffles United” in larger white text. On his feet were navy blue Chuck Taylor All-Star high tops & argyle socks. On his wrists were a few too many bracelets & a couple of wrist bands. On his left wrist was an old calculator watch. On a few of his fingers, he had some rings. On his right ring finger looked to be a silver Waffle ring.

On top of him, landed a woman. She had shoulder length platinum colored hair which had then been dyed a neon blue (the platinum coloring was showing at her roots). Her hair was done up in a ponytail. She had a pair of black plastic glasses on. They also didn’t fly off her head. She was dressed in a pale pink blouse, a dark chocolate brown cotton skirt that went to her mid calf. Under that are a pair of nude colored nylons & a pair of sensible leather pumps on. She had black nail polish which was cracked & chipped in places.

The final person, another woman with mousy brown hair which was styled in a partly messy bun atop her head. She wore a long, well worn brown leather trench coat which went all the way down to the ground. The ends of the coat were frayed, dirty & a bit burnt. Under her trench coat, she wore a two-toned form fitting dark blue & gunmetal black leather accented jumpsuit. Around her waist was a gunmetal black leather belt. The belt had a silver buckle had yellow "L" on it. On her hands is a pair of dark brown, well wore, leather gloves; the fingertips of the gloves are cut off exposing her fingers. She also wore mid calf leather gunmetal black leather boots. Each boot had dark brown leather straps. Each strap had silver metal clasps. There were three of each on both boots.

The door then closed just as quickly as it had opened.

“uh….” said the man on the bottom of the pile. “Can you all get off me?”

They all complied.

Once they had all stood up, they looked around at the group.

“Chad?” The man in the red & yellow asked.

The man in the hoodie nodded.

“Why do you have Catherine’s clothes on?”

The man in the hoodie looked down, noticed the change in clothes, then looked up & shrugged.

“From the looks of it, I’ve got Jane’s clothes on & she’s got Bookman’s clothes on.” said Catherine.

“and you’ve changed hair colors!” said Jane.

“What?” Catherine said a bit shocked. She pulled down on her bangs to see the color. She then went looking for a reflective surface to check it out more fully.

“It looks like you made out quite nice, Ronnie. You arrived in your own clothes.” Jane said with a half smile.

“NO!” Ronnie responded back offended. “These clothes are all wrong. My tench coat is bright yellow, not a dark red. The colors are all wrong.”

Jane took a second look & yes. The colors were all wrong. They had swapped. Those items normally red were yellow & those items normally yellow were red.

“It’s odd that even with me, Chad & Catherine swapping clothes with another person: they all fit amazingly well.” Jane said as she inspected the jumpsuit she was now wearing.

Catherine said returning to the group after checking out her new ‘do said “Chad looks good in my clothes & really they weren’t all that far from what he was wearing before.”

Chad half smiles & nodded in agreement.

There were a few moment silence before the question was asked by Jane “Where are we? Beside an Airport.”

“England.” Catherine responded. “As I was looking for a mirror, there were various signs advertising England stuff with the bizarre British spelling of things. U’s where there shouldn’t be any.”

“So… His clothes made it on Jane but any idea where Mr. Know-it-all is?” Ronnie asked as he looked around.

“no. I don’t think he exited with us.” Catherine responded. “I’m more wondering what happened to our luggage. I distinctly remember jumping out in the void with my messenger bag.”

“yeah. I had a lot of good stuff in my suitcase. Plus I could change out his abomination of an outfit!” Ronnie said.

Catherine laughed, he shot her a angry glare. She stuck her tongue at him.

Just then an announcement was made over the PA system. “Now at Carousel 4…”

They all looked around & they were in fact at Carousel 4.

“Qantas flight 7645: Parodiopolis to London. Now at Carousel 4: Qantas flight 7645: Parodiopolis to London.”

The carousel started up & out from the luggage area came 4 large pieces of plastic luggage (2 of them was red & the other 2 were yellow). That was followed by an Accordion, a backpack & a duffle bag. Next out was a olive drag colored messenger bag. Then came an imitation designer leather handbag followed by a small black plastic piece of luggage. The final piece of luggage to come out was a off-white plastic pet carrier, inside it was one very freaked out looking hamster.

“I don’t remember checking in my bag.” Catherine said somewhat confused.

“I know I checked in my suitcase but not my purse.” Jane said.

“Also, how did Little Cat get into his pet carrier? He was in my pocket when we jumped.“ Ronnie said a bit perplexed.

Shortly after their luggage made it’s way over to them on the carousel, a tipped over chair made it’s way out. It was a chair with a plastic seat & metal frame. The plastic was slightly melted & the frame had burn marks on it.

“So…. the only think missing from the void now is Bookman & Chad’s clothes?” Catherine said as the group all watched the chair slowly make it’s way past them.

“looks that way.” Jane said as she picked up her luggage.

The group stood there for a bit, unsure what to do now. After who knows how long in that void waiting around for some reason they were now were they should have been.

“what happens now?” Catherine asked.

“I guess we continue on with the trip?” Jane said unsure. She paused. “What about Hudgens?”

Chad raised a questioning eyebrow.

“He’s the one who started this whole thing off. He’s the one that persuaded us to go on this trip. Where is he? He wasn’t in the void with us. Is he dead?”

Chad shrugged.

“There are always a few dozen unanswered questions after an inter-dimensional trip. They should be answered eventually.” Ronnie said.

“That still doesn’t answer the question of what to do now.” Catherine said.

“We do what every traveler does after they have gotten their luggage: we go find transport!” Ronnie said. He leaned over, picked up Little Cat’s pet carrier, put the carrier on top of one of his suitcases. He then turned around, started to pull the luggage behind & walked towards the exit.

The rest of the group all looked at each other, they grabbed their stuff & followed shortly after.

---------------


Once outside, among all the various travelers & cars trying to jockey for position next to curb, Ronnie looked around & then saw something he wasn’t expecting. There was a man holding a sign with the word “Beeslyhuxtoy” on it. The man dressed in matching black dress pants & suit jacket. Under that was a white button down dress shirt, no tie. On his feet were a modest pair of black dress shoes.

Ronnie started to walk towards him, the rest of the group followed quickly after.

“Are you the Beeslyhuxtoy party?” He man asked as they came near.

“yes” Ronnie said.

“Good!” the man said as he smiled brightly. “I’m here to take you to the estate. Normally Mister Hudgens would have met you but he couldn’t make it, he is otherwise in disposed.”

Jane turned to Catherine “Estate?”

“Have you been waiting long?” Ronnie asked.

“no. Maybe 20 minutes. The longest thing was finding where to park the limo. So… do you have everything?”

“we do.” Ronnie said.

“Good!” the man said as he checked his watch. “If we don’t run into much traffic, we should be at the estate just in time for the Chrismahannaqwanaza meal that’s been cooking all day. I was happy to come pick you all up just to get out & away from all the smells that have been wafting through the manor. Hopefully Saint Rick has brought me something good this year.”

He chuckled as he motioned for the group to follow him, which they did.

---------------


TO BE CONTINUED...

Who are Ronnie’s Family? What happened to Clive Hudgens? Wasn’t there another member of their group?

These questions & possibly a few more will maybe be answered next time.


---------------


You knew there was going to be Footnotes, didn’t you?

- This story is yet another part in the multiple part story that is meant to finally give a conclusion to the whole Chad & Ronnie stories. It all starts years ago with the Chad & Ronnie: Fugitives storyline where Chad & Ronnie disappear for awhile. Clive Hudgens, an emissary of the Beeslyhuxtoy family shows up looking for Ronnie. The Fugitives storyline has a multiple part Interlude which features the first appearance of the church at the beginning of this story. Chad & Ronnie show up again in a story called Chad & Ronnie Return, there is a confrontation where Hudgens gets Ronnie & friends to agree to travel back to Ronnie’s family home. There was a pause in the story where it was “continued” in thew story called Waiting with the group stuck in Comic Book Limbo in a waiting room. While there they met up with Lee Bookman, The Librarian. Part of the vision was actually part of the original story I had written out to continue this storyline but choose to not fully use.

- The Essex theater’s appearance here is interesting since during the theater’s sole appearance it disappeared mysteriously & left a giant hole in it’s place. In the Chad & Ronnie: Fugitives Interlude a pastor from the aforementioned tried to break the fourth wall by attempting to invoke the powers of The Jarvis Cosmic, GAH!, Chaos, Serious Matter, Corposant Fire, The Whispering Fern & Faite among others things during a church service. But as seen here, the theater is back & the church has changed slightly. They were previously the Church of the Glorious Ones, not Glorious Duo. They believed in the teachings of The Mute & The Oracle who are now know as The Mute Musician & The Bicolored Teller of Tales. Little Cat’s name does not change much. He went from being the Sacred Animal to the Sacred Pet. Jane & Catherine were not even mentioned in the past teachings of the Church. This story marks the first appearances of the Seer(s) & Keepers.

- Chrismahannqwanza is winter holiday that is know to be celebrated by Chad & Ronnie. It’s also said to be celebrated at the Church of the Glorious Duo. As of this story, it’s also celebrated by Ronnie’s family. Saint Rick Clausen is the central figure of the holiday.

- While in Comic Book Limbo, all the clocks & watches were stuck at the time 5:02 pm.

- Catherine’s Hair: This is not the first time her hair has been dyed. Before Catherine’s involvement in the Moderator Saga, she had black hair. It was revealed during the Moderator Saga that black was not her natural hair color but it was in fact sandy blonde (Moderatorverse Catherine never dyed her hair black). After returning from that saga, Catherine let the hair dye grow out & went back to natural hair color.

Enjoyed the Church of C&R idea. It's amazing what some people will look to in times of trouble. The build-up to the Head Seer's dramatic last insight was splendid. More!




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