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Rhiannon
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The Hooded Hood continues the sectional saga while folks continue the feedback

Subj: I get the feeling that the problems have only started.
Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 at 09:31:35 am EDT
Reply Subj: #326: Untold Tales of the Parodyverse: On Things (and People) That Go Bump In The Night - Complete
Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 at 08:49:48 am EDT


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#326: Untold Tales of the Parodyverse: On Things (and People) That Go Bump In The Night
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> Go straight to part 1: On the Transfer of Power
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> Previously: UT #325: On the Return of the Juniors (and On the Return of Caph)
> Characters in this story outlined in the Cast List
> Situation overview in A Caph Recap
> Glossary of Caphan terms in The Caph Lexicon
> Previous chapters at The Hooded Hood's Homepage of Doom.
> Descriptions of our regular cast at Who's Who in the Parodyverse.
> Locations explained in Where's Where in the Parodyverse.
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> On the Transfer of Power
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>     The House of Kiivan had been hastily refurbished, filled with lavish gifts from great lords who wanted their Emir to be very certain that they had supported him all the time of his exile. The Imperial Palace thronged with new-given slaves and furnishings and jewels. Ohanna kept the list of it, for there was as yet no time to appoint a Vizier or High Leman to record everything. She’d drafted Hacker Nine to keep the database.
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>     There were all kinds of decisions to make and all kinds of people wanting to see the Emir. Lord Vaahir of Viigo placed himself squarely between the new-returned Prince and the office-seekers, his dour look and fearsome reputation sufficing to keep powerful lords at bay. Many remembered who it was that had slaughtered every last man of the House of Oodan.
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>     Kiivan closeted himself in his study with the great database of Caph, with Visionary and Vaahir and Losiira. Occasionally Caphans great and minor would be summoned then sent off with jobs to do.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Who knew there was so much paperwork after you took over a planet?” Visionary sighed. “Lisa never mentioned it.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“There are many people vying for Prince Kiivan’s attention now,” Losiira noted. “Nobles who wish preferment, those who fear punishment for collaboration, those who demand justice or compensation for their losses. Senior slaves from the merchant guilds with urgent questions about supplying the stricken cities. Bards that wish to learn of the deeds of the Emir to satisfy the hunger of the crowds. Men and women seeking vengeance for the wrongs done them during the occupation. I have called for two dozen adminstrators from the Eunoch’s Guild to begin the prioritising.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“If it’s any help I can go outside and glare at the traitors,” offered Vaahir. “A reputation for wiping out whole Houses that annoy me can be useful sometimes.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“That’s great,” agreed the Emir. “I might actually take you up on that wiping people out thing if these desperate idiots don’t stop alternately fawning over me and treating me as if I was still three. Where’s Ohanna? She and I had a list of all this stuff worked out with the Librarians. Isn’t she done with the new ownership codifications yet?”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“She’ll be ready soon,” Vaahir said evasively. “What do you want doing with the Caphans that sided with the Pigeonwarriors? To the mines?”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“We’ll give them their day in court,” Kiivan allowed. “For now use the Thonaggarian lock cages and see they’re guarded by somebody you trust.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“There’s a lot of diplomatic messages too,” worried Vizh, thumbing through the thick wad of scrolls from the offworld communications towers. “Everyone either wants a treaty from you or demands a tribute. A lot say you owe them money.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“If they took contracts with those who raided Caph then they can chase the Thonnagaraians for payment, and good riddance to those who helped with the oppression of my world,” answered Kiivan. “In fact find me a good galactic attorney and we’ll counter-sue for damages their trade caused to the planet.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“And tell those worlds seeking tribute that we stand defiant,” added Vaahir.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Tell them that if they want to bother Caph they’ll need to talk to the Lair Legion first,” added Vizh quietly. “Or I can get them Mumphrey’s address. Or Donar’s.”
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>     Kiivan shot the possibly-fake man a quick, grateful smile and turned to the next pile of papers. Losiira laid a hand on it to prevent him taking them.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“It is late now, Master,” Kiivan’s new house-mother noted. “And you will need to be sharp and ready for tomorrow’s high court.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I have all kinds of things I need to do before that,” the Emir protested. “That pile…”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Pardon, Master,” Losiira bowed low, “but Mistress Ohanna said that you valued honesty and initiative amongst your slaves. And she asked that I be sure you do not use your strength unwisely, but husband it for when you will need it most.”
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>     The Emir of Caph looked up at the determined headwoman of his House. “Ohanna said that, did she?”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m sure your eminence would not punish a humble slave such as I for daring to care about his wellbeing,” Losiira manipulated expertly.
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>     Vaahir and Kiivan exchanged impressed glances at how well the pleasure slave could handle a master. “In the morning, then,” agreed the Emir. “I do feel a bit exhausted. Liberating planets and getting mortally wounded and initiating worldwide timejumps and restructuring societies is a lot more tiring than it looks.”
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>     Losiira nodded understandingly. “I will light you to your chamber, Master,” she promised him. “And there you may regain your true self.”
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***

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>     Serooq, High Priest of Raathi, carefully touched his taper to the votive bowls and lit the scented oil. The glass containers each began to glow a different hue, painting the masjid with rainbow lights. He bowed to the glass image of the founder of his sect, and only then turned to meet his visitors.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well?”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“He means it,” Prince Laartroon of Laartros answered in a hushed but agitated tone. “Everything he said. The fines on the Houses that collaborated. The compensation courts for the dispossessed. The restrictions on offworld sale of chattels. He’s even sticking to that ridiculous revision of the Code of Ownership that he proposed.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I tried to talk to him,” added Lord Troovis of Troovis. “He wouldn’t listen. That damned Vaahir was there all the time, interposing himself between me and the Emir.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Of course he was,” snorted Laartroon. “He’s going to do very well out of this, is Vaahir. Warlord of Caph. The power behind the throne. Do you think he’s going to let the boy hear anything that isn’t to his advantage?”
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>     Troovis shook his head. “I tried to make Vaahir see reason. Offered him a very acceptable bribe. He threw me out. Me!”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“The alien war chief was there too,” reported Laartroon. “Lord Viisionary. He said little but the Emir was very attentive to him. I wouldn’t be surprised if all those absurd notions have come from his head. Him and that Lair Legion he serves.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“And from the wench Ohanna,” complained Troovis. “If ever a slave needed flogging back to her place…”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So Kiivan is serious in his intentions,” interrupted Serooq. “He seeks to alter the sacred traditions of our world, the right order of things. Whether these ideas are his own or those of others who control him does not matter. Only preserving that which should be.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“He’s too popular,” frowned Laartroon. “And well protected. Assassination would be problematic just now. The mob would rend anyone who attempted it.”
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>     Serooq looked down at the seething party in the courtyards of the city below, his lip curled with disgust. “He is Caliph and Emir, and his person is sacred,” he chided his visitors. “If he is leading our world astray it is our duty to guide him back to the right ways. If others whisper blasphemies in his ear then it is they who must be removed.”
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>     Laartroon and Troovis liked the sound of that. “How shall it be done?” asked Troovis.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“There are means,” answered the cleric.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“If his reforms fail – when his reforms fail – the boy will be exposed as a fool and a failure,” Laartroon noted. “The way will be open for him to receive… better advice.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“And they shall fail,” promised Serooq. “Raathi has already shown me ways to make it so.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Has he now?” said Laartroon with a vicious little smirk.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“He has, praise him. And the first such gambit may be the last we need.” The high priest gestured his conspirators closer. “It all begins at the Great Court hearings tomorrow…”
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***

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> Next:On the Completion of Old Business
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***

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> Cast List:
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> Prince Kiivan, Emir of All Caph, is the rightful heir to the Caliphate and liberator of his homeworld. He escaped when Caph was invaded by Thonnagarians, trained in different times and places, and returned just over an Earth year later having grown to adulthood to save his people.
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> Ohanna of Raael is Kiivan’s constant companion, and as the Caphans would put it “his heart’s desire and best beloved”. She is younger sister to the exiled Caphan Miiri, and arguably the most extensively offworld-trained woman of Caph.
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> Vaahir of Viigo is Caph’s greatest warlord, Prince Kiivan’s mentor and right-hand man in retaking Caph. Vaahir’s passion for the Lady Kaara of Jaaxa is celebrated in song and story.
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> Visionary, possibly-fake man and headmaster of the Junior Lair Legion training programme, was formerly the accidental owner of nine Caphan slave girls, including Miiri who later mothered his twin children.
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> Losiira of the Nine Songs is the oldest of the nine Caphan exiles formerly sheltered on Earth, and the only one accredited by the bardic college. She carries a child of Prince Kiivan and has been appointed housemistress of his estates and harem.
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> Sir Mumphrey Wilton was the formidable leader of the Earth coalition during the Parody War, and is not known for suffering fools gladly.
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> Donar, Hemigod of Thunder is one of the Ausgardian pantheon, an old member of the Lair Legion and the League of Regulars with Visionary. He smites people.
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> Serooq, High Priest of Raathi is one of the religious leaders of Caph, keepers of tradition and morality. Now that the Thonnagarian invasion is over he has been able to come out of hiding to lead the Caphan people in right ways.
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> Prince Lartroon of Laartros was offworld at the time of the Thonnagarian takeover and therefore avoided the worst excesses of the occupation. He has returned now to reclaim his estates and stake his position in the new hierarchy of Caph.
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> Lord Troovis of Troovis survived the reign of Prince Aarmis by being alternately stupid, subservient, absent, and stupid. He sees a future for himself in politics.
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***

> Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2008 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2008 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.






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