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Subj: This was fun. Well, not for everyone involved, obviously. Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 at 06:33:10 am EDT (Viewed 586 times) | Reply Subj: Vinnie de Soth and the Vampire Definition Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 at 07:13:25 pm EDT (Viewed 12 times) | ||||||
A rather welcome story: I got to read this after a rather tedious (but mercifully foreshortened) week. Croydon was particularly unpleasent in the heat, then they forgot to turn the Air Conditioning on on Thursday. (On the other hand I did get to see the sunrise hitting the Shard from London Bridge on Wednesday morning. Not a sight for a vampire, but very pretty. The various photographs don't do it justice.) Quote: Investigative journalist Bernice Teshmaker glared across the counter at Alto Tumour. “Don’t you care about being offensive to women?†she asked. It is rather sad that my immediate reaction to this was that if he wasn't, he would be a PC AT. Quote: Vinnie bypassed Mrs Blythely and approached Beyonce. He suspected that possibly she was really called Jane or Jill or something, but since he was actually named Vincent Arcanus Greymalkin de Soth he wasn’t going to arguer with anyone’s self-naming choices. “Hello,†he said.Alas, there is peobably a whole rash of children called "Beyonce" now. My Mum - who used to be a teacher, and then part-timed in the my school office - had much to say on the naming of children. Quote: Beyonce gave him a look of disinterested contempt.“How are you becoming a vampire?†Vinnie asked her curiously. The above sounds more like the symptoms of a teenager. Quote: Vinnie focussed on the main problem. “Okay, Beyonce. Next diagnostic question. This vampire of yours. Does he tend towards being moody and sparkling at all?â€Â“No,†the girl answered, puzzled. “Shame. Because then all I’d have had to do was give his name to the other undead and they’d have taken him to a back alley and sorted him out.†“Using intervention therapy?†suggested Mrs Blythely. “Using a chair leg and kerosene. And possibly a good deal of sarcasm.†I quoted this to Sharon - she found it hilarious as well. Fortunately Cassandra is showing no signs of going down the Stephanie Meyers route at the moment. Quote: “He only refurbished the old mansion on Parody Island. And he completely missed the site that’s now Phantomhawk Memorial Hospital- but that’s another story.â€ÂStill looking forward to it. (Come to think of it - the only other time I can recall it being mentioned ws a vampire story as well. Hellraisers arc, wasn't it? Quote: Vinnie shook his head. “It’s more than wearing leather coats and hair care product, being undead. There’s plenty to watch out for. Sacred rice, running water, holy wafers, church bells, whitethorn, pickles, mayonnaise, anything yellow…â€ÂFor some reason I am reminded of the scene in Carpe Jugulum, where the vampires realise that just about every holy symbol is a pattern, and they have inadvertantly learned to recognise patterns. Quote: “Really? You don’t even know how to transform into an animal. Or a weather phenomenon. Or a big truck.â€ÂOK. I'm confused about the big truck. Transformer's reference? Quote: “You’ve just become a very serious undead,†Vinnie congratulated him. “Right up there. By now you probably know about Don Calmet, and Summers, and Nosferos, and Vrykoulakos, and Graf Hertzog and all the rest, right back to the sinking of Mu. You’ve got all the powers of a major undead. You can probably read what it says on these walls.â€ÂWhich should do nothing for his sanity either... | |||||||
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