Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
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Post By
Rhiannon
In Reply To
Adventures in Vinnie De Soth's bed, as chronicled by... the Hooded Hood

Subj: I hadn't exactly expected that solution.
Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 at 07:51:55 am EDT
Reply Subj: The Bride
Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 at 09:51:55 pm EDT (Viewed 1 times)


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>     Liu Xi Xian always felt slightly uncomfortable walking into Alto Tumour’s occult bookshop. Perhaps it was the musty smell of the rotting paperbacks that haphazardly lined the shelves. Perhaps it was the musty smell of the customers. Whatever it was the young elementalist quickly slipped into the back of the shop, past the rack of tarot decks and behind the cabinet of plastic-sealed tantric volumes.
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>     Vinnie De Soth, exorcist for hire and outcast white sheep of the De Soth sorcerer clan, was waiting nervously at his tiny desk under the staircase. He jumped up hurriedly when he saw his visitor had arrived, thumped his head on the low slope of the steps above him, and managed to scatter his pile of paperwork all across the floor then spill his coffee over it.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sorry,” he apologised as he mopped up the mess with a pile of bills. “It’s turning into a difficult evening, that’s all. Sorry, Liu Xi.”
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>     Liu Xi sighed and used her elemental gifts to separate out the caffeine from the invoices then helped Vinnie stack them back on his cheap old desk. “What did you call me for, Vinnie? It’s two in the morning. You said it was urgent.”
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>     Vinnie nodded. “Um, yeah. I have, um, there’s this favour I need to ask you for. But it’s kind of personal.”
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>     Liu Xi’s eyebrow flickered a little. “Personal?”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Er, yeah. It’s not the sort of thing a guy asks a girl to do for him when they’re not even officially dating. Or dating at all. I didn’t mean to imply that the time we spend together counts as… I mean I don’t think of you as… well, if I do it’s not because I…”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“What do you want, Vinnie?”
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>     The young occultist swallowed. “Would you like to sit down?” He offered her his rickety typist’s swivel chair. “Only mind because there’s a castor loose.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I just want to know what you’re after,” Liu Xi told him a bit impatiently. “This is way past my bedtime.”
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>     Vinnie looked even more uncomfortable at the word ‘bedtime’. “Well,” he babbled, “you remember that time we looked at the ruins of Ys and that seagull nearly crapped on me and then you said never mind because my jacket could only be improved by it and…?”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I remember,” Liu Xi cut him short. “It was an interesting day.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah. And you told me some things about… about you. Secrets. About how you, um, discovered your elemental powers.”
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>     Now it was Liu Xi’s turn to swallow hard. “How I was sold as a supposed bride to a man who decided I was not good enough and cast me aside, and how in my shame and rage I manifested my gifts and destroyed him by fire,” she summarised. “I have not spoken to many people about that, even now.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, you wouldn’t. It’s private. I wouldn’t bring it up, only, well, that’s why I want you to do something for me.”
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>     Liu Xi blinked. “You want me to… cook you a good supper? Or sleep with you? Or marry you? Or burn you to ashes?”
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>     Vinnie’s face went back to panic. “None of those!” he yelped. “Well, some maybe, but not right now. I’ve got a case. And I need your help.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Vinnie, could you possibly start at the beginning, explain the situation, and clearly and concisely tell me what it is you need?”
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>     Vinnie considered this. “No,” he despaired. “Better I show you. Do you mind coming into my back room?”
>     He opened a small low panel at the back of his office alcove and pushed it open. “In here.”
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>     It was dark beyond the low doorway. Liu Xi instinctively cupped her hand to summon some light in it but Vinnie’s hand closed over hers to stop her. “No,” he said. “It has to be dark.”
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>     Liu Xi allowed herself to be led through the wall panel into a cramped storage area beyond. It was windowless and could have benefited from a new coat of plaster. It contained a rumpled bed, a wash-stand, an old trunk, and a very large amount of books.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Vinnie?” Liu Xi asked, horrified and fascinated in equal parts. “Do you sleep here?”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure,” Vinnie answered cheerfully. “It’s included in the rent. Now I’m going to shut the door. Don’t let the darkness bother you. It’s needed.”
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>     Liu Xi was slightly worried that she was now in the dark with a young man who’d called her up at two in the morning because she’d previously been trained to pleasure a prospective husband.
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>     Vinnie’s fingertips brushed her temples then smoothed his palms down to near the corners of her eyes. “Just relax,” he told her. “This is going to be fine. Trust me.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“What are you doing?” Liu Xi realised her voice sounded a bit breathless. She could sense something shifting somewhere on the edge of her perception; too far for her elemental sensitivity to discern.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m attuning your senses to what they need to see,” the exorcist for hire told her. “Open your eyes now.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“My eyes are open.”
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Open your inner eyes.”
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>     Vinnie’s fingers felt very warm on her face. Liu Xi tried to do what he asked. She staggered back in surprise as she saw the stranger in the room. She bumped into Vinnie and he caught her from stumbling.
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>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s okay,” Vinnie told her.






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