Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
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Post By
Anime Jason 
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Location: Here
Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004
Posts: 2,834
In Reply To
CrazySugarFreakBoy!

Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,235
Subj: It's not over till it's over?
Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 at 07:57:58 pm EST (Viewed 491 times)
Reply Subj: Here's the problems I have with it:
Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 at 07:20:02 pm EST (Viewed 455 times)


> 1. It starts with the Moderator already having taken over the cosmic offices, which was pretty obviously meant to be the worst case scenario everyone was trying to prevent, which is precisely why we had the countdown to it as a climactic moment. The fact that you skipped over it made me feel like I'd been cheated out of that essential part of the story.

It is the worst case scenario.  That's why I chose it, because it was unexpected.  Most people here were expecting the Lair Legion to come out of its slumber and re-assemble, me included.  It was actually only after Hatman-poster's post, where he actually replaced one Legionnaire permanently, that I thought about the other scenario:  What if they don't make it in time?

The intention wasn't to cheat anyone.  It was that I've never attempted to finish a story here, so I thought I'd throw out the old formula and try something different - but not completely independently, because I put to use existing plot elements and feedback and suggestions I got.  More on that in a moment.
 
> 2. The Moderator has persecuted the entire Parodyverse, and the characters created by all of its posters, but in the end, he's defeated exclusively by your characters - which, quite frankly, reads as rather selfish, regardless of your intent. It renders all of the tie-ins that the rest of us have been writing up to this point completely pointless, even if you suddenly try and slot evil-Jay into an archvillain role, because nothing that any of our characters did contributes to the Moderator's defeat, and the name of the story is "The Moderator Saga," so once he's defeated, everything after that is simply a post-script to the true story.

It was unexpected, though, which is the effect I was going for.  People were curious about what Faite can do, and this is the first time anyone's really seen what she's capable of.  In the interest of fairness (if anyone noticed) I purposely sidelined Lara Night in favor of using the most subtle, complementary, and unlikely sub-group so they'd have to do things the hard way.

I tried to supply hidden gems and a lesson in it, too.  Like maybe the new Hacker Nine (Software Engineer) purposely sabotaged Anna so she would turn on the Moderator and kill him.  The lesson in that is not to assume those you force into compliance will protect your life.

Also the slotting Jay into an archvillain role was Hatman-poster's idea.  I expected that was just something he was doing to seed the possibility because he doesn't usually post that often.  I took the bait because it looked like an interesting idea.

 
> 3. In my opinion, you've chosen extremely inappropriate characters to suddenly be thrust into huge roles. Evil-Jay is an interesting idea, but he is not the main archvillain that all of our characters have been struggling against since this story began, so he has absolutely zero dramatic weight as a substitute archvillain, and if you really do intend to have him take the Moderator's place as the main archvillain, then it pretty much kills off my interest in seeing how this series turns out. Ditto your decision to turn Anna into the Shaper of Worlds, because of all your characters, she's the least well-defined, beyond how special she is, and part of the whole point of this entire story, as evidenced by the fact that the Moderator has been fighting for more than two-dozen chapters of it to gain the powers of the cosmic offices, is that cosmic offices should NOT just automatically fall into someone's lap, as they did with Anna here.

Anna as Shaper of Worlds isn't permanent by a long shot.  In fact, it's really a punishment in a sense - like kill the farmer and be doomed to take care of his animals and crops.  The story doesn't end there.

Meanwhile though, because Anna isn't well-defined, nobody is sure what she'd do with such an office.  Most likely she'd hand it to someone better qualified - but no one knows who either.

There's also still the question of what evil-Jay would do, how the Lair Legion gets reassembled from here, etc.  Even if the Moderator is permanently dead (in this universe, who knows?) his legacy lives on and there's a whole story in what happens to it.

 
> I understand your desire to see the story move on, but if the moves you've made in this chapter are meant to be permanent, then you haven't moved it toward a conclusion - you've ENDED it, in a way that, again, leaves no possibility whatsoever for the rest of us to complete our character arcs.

Most of the character arcs I've seen before have to do with reassembling the Lair Legion.  Since that hasn't happened yet, and they're still who they think they are when the Moderator "fixed" them, the paths of those stories hasn't changed.  Only the distant promise of an ass-kicking has.  And if evil Jay takes the dictator role, that could be an interesting new promise of an ass-kicking.

 
> I hate to sound so harsh, but that's how I see it.

As I said, keep in mind that the story is far from over (and Ian has taken dibs on the next part).  But if I get a pile of complaints in the next day or so I may just delete the whole story and toss it in the bit bucket.







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