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CrazySugarFreakBoy!
offers a calm and rational statement of opinion (so, yeah, NSFW language within)

Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,235
Subj: My casting choice for Catwoman in the next Nolan Bat-film
Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 at 07:53:04 pm EDT (Viewed 432 times)


Yes, this is pointless for me to speculate on, because no, it won't make a damned bit of difference.

But I'm making my call anyway:

AMANDA DONOHOE, BITCHES.

Let's review what she's got going for her:
  • UK actor who can play American, as with half of Nolan's other main casting choices? Check.
  • 46-year-old cougar who hasn't aged a day in the past two decades? Check.
  • IRL bisexual who pioneered American television's first lesbian kiss? Check.
  • Bad-ass socialist feminist who dated Adam Ant and punched out one of Ant's obsessed knife-wielding fans? Check.
  • Looks like liquid sex in skintight black leather?



    HELL FUCKING YES YOU STUPID WHORES

  • Can play a seductive, sinister, scary slut whose smarts, sexuality and savagery will simultaneously inspire both terror and painfully hard erections in every heterosexual boy and man who sees her?



    You tell me.
On that note, allow me to recommend The Lair of the White Worm, a film made of so much fucking WIN that even the Fail and AIDS of Hugh Grant co-starring in it cannot manage to ruin it.

Basically, if you saw Ken Russell's work in Altered States, and said to yourself, "Man, this fucked-up hallucinogenic religious imagery is awesome, but it's not nearly sexual and twisted and blasphemous enough" ... well, actually, you should probably watch The Devils, but if you'd prefer not to have the image of a hunchbacked Vanessa Redgrave masturbating with Oliver Reed's cremated femur bone burned into your brain, then, yeah, The Lair of the White Worm is a great choice.

After all, while the films of François Truffaut and Akira Kurosawa might be regarded, on a purely technical level, as "superior cinema," DO THEY HAVE AMANDA DONOHOE AS A FULLY NUDE VAMPIRIC SNAKE-WOMAN FUCKING CATHERINE OXENBERG'S VIRGIN PUSSY WITH A FOOT-LONG STRAP-ON DILDO???

NO, THEY FUCKING WELL DO NOT, SO TELL ME NOW WHICH IS THE BETTER FILM, YOU STUPID DUMB FUCKHOLES



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