Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
·
Post By
Visionary
who had to look it up himself, as it had been so long.

In Reply To
HH

Subj: She first appeared in "International Incident", which at the time was a ridiculously long epic. So about a quarter of an Untold Tales chapter.
Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 at 01:34:34 pm EST (Viewed 2 times)
Reply Subj: That's one for Visionary, although I'm pretty sure I've read it. "Mob Rules", perhaps?
Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2016 at 10:04:42 am EST


It was the sequel to "League of Irregulars", and preceded "Mob Rules". It included the introduction of Akiko Masamune, Visionary singing Karaoke, and much assorted nonsense. An unnamed Hallie had a couple of early lines as Baron Zemo's replacement computer (after he made a "Virtual Zemo" who went rogue.) But her main scenes follow as she teamed with NTU-150 to take on a Giant Samurai Robot that was part of a Japanese pop culture invasion:




"LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUUUMMMMBBBLLLE!!!!!!!" NTU-150 cried gleefully as he raced across the sky towards his target. This is what it was all about! It was finally time for a kung-fu showdown with the Giant Samurai Robot.

"Don't get carried away" a warm female voice said. "The Baron and the others are counting on you."

NTU jumped at the unexpected response and nearly fell off of his humongous airborne robotic body-part. "Who said that?!"

"I did." The sensuous voice came from the Aptiva computer mounted in the forearm.

"Uh... Zeke?"

"Not hardly." the voice answered. "I'm Baron Zemo's computer. He downloaded me into your 'Giant Flying Robot Arm' just before we left."

"That's 'Giant Flying Robot Arm ZEKE'." NTU corrected stiffly. "And what business did Zemo have messing with *my* invention?"

"Now don't get your back up." the computer answered soothingly. "He just thought you could use some help, that's all."

"How very thoughtful of him." NTU muttered.

It almost sounded like the computer sighed. "He is, isn't he? And those shoulders... mmmmmm... isn't he dreamy?"

"Zemo?!?" NTU said incredulously. "The guy with a face like roadkill? The guy with a personality so grating that Mother Theresa would've slapped him? *That* Zemo?"

"Hhmph." the computer said in a prickly tone. "At least *his* inventions work."

"Bite me, HALlie" NTU answered moodily. Now that Giant Flying Robot Arm Zeke was decidedly effeminate, the upcoming combat just didn't seem as glorious anymore.

"Yeah? Well, get over yourself, Robocop." The computer answered. "We've got work to do. You've built yourself an impressive appendage, but let's see how well you use it."




"Okay, that was a little too close." NTU admitted as the Giant Samurai Robot's sword whistled over his head. He hit the throttle and pulled up, delivering a wicked uppercut to the GSR's chin. His opponent staggered backwards, crushing much of Parodiopolis' Gaslight district. "Sorry about that!" he called to the fleeing citizens down below.

"This isn't working." the computer observed in its sensuous voice.

"What isn't working?" NTU asked defensively.

"This whole game of 'Rock-em Sock-em Robots' that you two are playing" the computer answered. "I don't think you'll be able to pummel him into submission."

NTU-150 ground his teeth in frustration. Zemo's computer was really cramping his style. "And I suppose you have a better idea..." he muttered.

"Naturally" it said smugly. "Although it's really the Baron's idea."
It sighed dreamily.

NTU banked Zeke into a hard right to avoid another chop from the GSR's sword. The fact that NTU was piloting nothing besides an arm left little choice of targets for the Japanese's war machine-- it was resigned to simply trying to chop the offending Giant Flying Robot Arm in half. "Earth to Hallie" NTU called, using the nickname it (she?) seemed to dislike most. "Perhaps you could stop dreaming of 'interfacing' with Zemo and spill the plan instead..."

The Giant Samurai Robot raised its arm and, with a deafening explosion, launched its fist at Zeke. NTU had been ready for this maneuver (the idea of shooting a robot hand at an opponent seemed like perfectly sound strategy to him) and he bent the Giant Flying Robot Arm at the elbow, narrowly avoiding the oncoming blow.

"This is what I've been waiting for!" Hallie exclaimed. "Quickly, fire Zeke's hand before the GSR can retrieve its own fist!"

"That's a last resort measure!" NTU protested. "After all, without the hand, the rest of the Flying Arm is pretty useless for battle..." He had to admit that he could still throw a pretty mean elbow without the hand, but he'd much rather use a few jabs and right crosses, maybe work the ribs a bit. He had already opened a gash above the GSR's left eye, and some kind of oil was running into it, decreasing his visibility on that side. NTU hadn't watched all those 'Rocky' movies for nothing.

"Just do it, already!" Hallie ordered testily.

"Yes ma'am." NTU muttered bitterly. He disengaged the docking clamps on the wrist and set the charges. "Fist away!" he cried as he hit the ignition button. The rest of Giant Flying Robot Arm Zeke lunged backwards as the clenched fist rocketed out of the wrist socket. "Happy now?" he asked coldly. There was no answer.

What happened next was rather unexpected. The hand unclenched in mid air and, firing retro rockets, maneuvered itself into position to slam into the GSR's severed wrist. Even from a distance, NTU could see the wires snaking out from inside Zeke's hand to make connections with the circuitry of the Giant Samurai Robot's exposed socket.

The Japanese Robot acted as though its arm was on fire, spasming wildly and flailing out with the infected right limb. Finally, with great determination, it held its own forearm out and raised its tremendous sword ominously.

"I don't think so" NTU said grimly. Sure, he didn't care for Hallie, but he wasn't about to watch as the hand that she had downloaded herself into was hacked off. Besides, he had spent a lot of time working on that hand, and was rather proud of it. Throwing the motors into overdrive, he sent what remained of the Flying Arm spinning through the air like a boomerang. Twirling violently, he still managed to steer the limb unerringly into the hand that held the humongous sword. The colossal weapon went sailing through the air to embed itself, perfectly upright, into the smoldering remains of Sniederman's Hardware.

Giant Flying Robot Arm Zeke finally gave out completely, and the battered remains plummeted from the sky, carrying the severely dizzy NTU with it. The invention and its creator hit the earth hard in a pile of twisted metal. NTU crawled from the wreckage of what had been his most successful invention yet to find himself at the toes of the looming GSR. Even though he knew he was about to die, he was more worried about the motion sickness he felt: Vomiting with one's face-plate down was an unpleasant experience, to say the least. He watched as the still twitching Samurai Robot raised an immense foot above him, blotting out the early morning sky. NTU powered up his repulsors for one final, hopeless, act of defiance.

Suddenly, the spasming of the robot stopped and the foot froze above him. Slowly, cautiously, it pulled away from him and lowered softly to the ground. The gigantic Japanese machine bent over to regard him with its artificial eyes. The huge right arm of the GSR swung around and reached out to him.

"Hey, partner" Hallie's voice came booming out from between the tremendous construct's lips. "You look like you could use a hand..."




"This won't hurt a bit" Hallie assured NTU-150 as she raised him up above the Giant Samurai Robot's cavernous mouth.

"Uh, wait-a-minute..." NTU said hesitantly, desperately trying to get his jet boots to kick in. Hallie didn't wait. NTU fell and narrowly missed bouncing off of a giant incisor. He hit the back of the throat and scrambled desperately to gain a foothold before he plummeted down into the stomach (if, indeed, Giant Samurai Robots had stomachs). He grabbed ahold of some cables that were attached to the back of the throat and started climbing up. Eventually, he found an access hatch to the GSR's control center.

"HEY THERE!" Hallie's voice boomed out, rattling NTU's teeth. "OH, ER, HOLD ON... how's this? Better?" she asked, her voice now coming from a speaker in the control room, rather than from the colossal mouth below. "I see you found you're way here."

"Yeah, though I nearly got a tour of your digestive tract." NTU grumbled, his ears still ringing. He looked at the 'dashboard' of the GSR, appropriately decked out in blinking lights. "So, you have total control of this thing?"

"Over its 'nervous system', yes..." Hallie answered. "However, I could use your help cracking into its memory banks. I'm betting that there's some useful information in there."

NTU studied the mainframe that acted as the GSR's brain. It was an impressive system, if not all that groundbreaking. He opened the casing to examine the hard disks that contained the robot's memory. "I think I see the problem. Here, let me try this..." he said as he flipped a switch.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" Hallie answered.

NTU quickly flipped it back. "Er, sorry about that."

"Not at all..." Hallie answered in a slightly unfocused voice. "Actually that felt kind of good." She chuckled. "If we get some free time later, do it again. Anyway, that seemed to do the trick: opening protected files now..." She considerately began playing 'Musak' while he waited for her to finish reading the files.

"Find anything useful?" NTU asked.

"I'd say so." Hallie answered at last. "How come nobody ever told me Zemo had a twin?"




"So anyway, as I understand it, Zemo killed his alternate self, then
made a virtual clone of him within his computer using the dead Zemo's ashes and mixing in bits of his own DNA to fill any gaps." NTU explained as the GSR headed towards the army's encampment. "Only the virtual clone hadn't really gotten over being shot, see, and so it messed with Zemo's internet account, then..."

"All right! All right!" Hallie cried in surrender. "I'm already sorry I asked!" It was by far the most ridiculous story she had ever heard, but then, she was new to the Parodyverse. "So are you saying that this Virtual Zemo was my predecessor?"

"Well, sort of..." NTU answered. "I figure Zemo's studies of his virtual clone probably lead to your having consciousness, at least."

"Do you think I might be a clone of someone, then?" Hallie asked hopefully.

"I suppose anything's possible" he answered dubiously. "What does it matter?"

"I'd like to think a part of me is human, that part of me is real."

NTU snorted. "Look, I know that its none of my business, but... why? I mean, look at me. I can hardly tell where the machine ends and what's left of the man begins. You know what, though? That imaginary line doesn't mean squat." He held up an armored hand. "Admittedly, humanity is an example of some pretty impressive design work, but I've seen better machines."

Hallie thought she might have detected a slight trace of bitterness in that last comment, but she couldn't tell for sure. "Are you saying that you wouldn't want your real limbs back?"

NTU knocked on her dashboard with a resounding 'CLANG'. "They seem pretty real to me. If they can do everything that my original ones could, what difference is there?"

"*Can* they do everything that your original ones could?" she asked curiously.

He stopped for a moment, then finally raised his head to address her. Before he could reply, however, the enemy encampment came into view. "We'd better get ready." he said abruptly. "It won't take them long to realize that we're not on their side."

Hallie didn't need to repeat her question. "I understand." she replied simply.





Posted with Google Chrome 47.0.2526.106 on Windows 7
On Topic™ © 2003-2024 Powermad Software
Copyright © 2003-2024 by Powermad Software