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> > The period directly following the Parody Master War was, to put it mildly, a highly delicate time. A great percentage of the universe had just been released from oppression, while the remaining percentage of the universe had actively taken part in the whole "oppressing" side of things. The calls for revenge and/or justice were high, and the two motives were separated only by the amount of money one could make in carrying them out.
> >
> > In short, it was a good time to be a bounty hunter.
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> >
> >
> > "What the hell is this?" Ex-Regent Mandlebroot of the Lecithan Cluster snorted in derision, the tentacle-like whiskers on his chin waving obscenely as he looked up and down the lithe form delivered to his bedroom suite door.
> >
> > "The "entertainment" you requested, sir" Moot, the chief of his security entourage noted. "Apparently the agency on this backwater planet doesn't have a lot to choose from." He noticed the subject of discussion bristling at this assessment, but she kept a vapid smile on in front of the client.
> >
> > "Scrawny thing" Mandlebroot sneered, wiping the sweat from the folds of his bloated, magenta neck with a hotel washcloth. "She's not even close... I wanted one of those Caphan whores I've heard so much about recently." He turned a sour face to the pleasantly smiling, whipcord sleek woman in the skimpy silver frock. "I don't suppose any parts of you are green under all that fuzz?"
> >
> > She closed her cat eyes and concentrated for a moment, and when she opened them again they were a shocking emerald with flecks of gold. "How's that?" she asked in a voice that sounded like an angelic choir of children. "Green is over-rated... I can promise that the more interesting parts of me are freshly ripened to perfection." She ran her tongue over the sharpened fangs below her fuzzy lips, her tail swishing behind her in invitation.
> >
> > "Hmmph" the deposed leader snorted. "Well, if that tail is prehensile, then maybe you're not a total waste." He opened the door to his room wide enough to allow her to slip inside. "As for you, Moot... call Chief Physician Gorp. I need some of the blue stuff that comes in those little vials to take the edge off this morning."
> >
> > "The aquamarine or the cerulean blue stuff?"
> >
> > He considered it. "Both. And maybe some of those little blue Earth pills as well. Not that I need them, mind you. My flagella writhe just fine on their own."
> >
> > "Of course. Right away, sir."
> >
> > The round fugitive from his homeworld closed the door and undulated his tentacled bulk over to the heart-shaped slime tank that dominated the room. The Honeymoon Suite at the Enzylac Hotel and Casino Station was overdecorated in the finest Casino tradition, with gaudy imported Vanish marble, mirrored ceilings and holo-windows displaying the world belows most breathtaking views. More than enough to impress in this backwards quadrant, but a considerable step down for the former politician. "So are you one of those tiresome species that needs to breath in order to survive?" he asked the girl in a bored voice, "...and if so, how long can you remain submerged and still provide vigorous motion for active stimulation? It better be at least 45 minutes, as I'd hate having to jiggle your torso mys...GAHLK!!!"
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> > This last observation was likely based on finding the woman had jammed a 40 centimeter hypo-spray into his trachea.
> >
> > "Oh, I doubt you'll be wanting for "active stimulation" the lithe woman purred with her unusual voices. "Ex-Regent Cleevis Mandlebroot, betrayer of Lecithan IV, V and VII, wanted for war crimes by the Profactor Assembly of Vacata III... So pleased to finally meet you." She grabbed the edges of her cocktail dress and pulled, stretching the silvery fabric and letting it snap back to her whipcord slim body in the form of a fully covering bodysuit. "On duly signed warrant issued by the Assembly of Lecithan Justice, I'm bringing you in."
> >
> > He pulled back, clutching his neck where she had injected him. "What... who... Moot! MooOOOOOOOOT!!!" he called, spinning towards the locked door but going down hard on the marble floor as she cut his tentacles out from under him with a swift, sweeping kick.
> >
> > "Your security team isn't going to be bothering us" she informed him nonchalantly. "The honeymoon suite is soundproofed, after all. One on the benefits of a station built for a species that trumpets during rutting season. You need to take these things into account when you go into hiding off-planet."
> >
> > The Cephalopodic alien gaped in outrage. "What kind of a whore are you?" he demanded, tentacles writhing.
> >
> > "The chaste kind, and yet still highly paid" she informed him, producing a snub-nosed wave disruptor from somewhere within her skin-tight outfit. "The bad news is I don't do the screwing... you already did that to yourself in the Parody War, what with having thrown in with the losing side and selling out your own people and what not. But if you're really the masochistic kind, feel free to resist... I don't mind doling out some pain, if that's your kink." She held up the hypo-spray. "This was filled with an unbalanced super-heavy electrolyte solution, keyed to detonate when removed from a corresponding signal based on my vitals. My hearts stop, the resonance falters and you go boom. You go more than 20 meters from my lovely self, the signal fades and you go boom. Hell, you bore me with enough pointless braying and posturing, maybe I grow sleepy and you go boom. I'm not entirely sure... it's pretty experimental stuff. Well, except for the boom itself..." she noted, grinning evilly. "That's pretty well tested."
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> > "What... what do you want?" the fat, tentacled fugitive asked fearfully.
> >
> > She shrugged. "Money."
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> > His eyes lit with hope. "I have money! I can pay you... far more than whatever the measly bounty might be..!"
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> > "Now, now... Don't sell yourself short" she replied, producing and attaching a muffling cone to the business end of her disruptor. "Me, I plan on selling you for a really, really spectacular bounty, after all. And don't bother with the bribes... A gal's got to be able to look at herself in the mirror at the end of the day. I'm on the side of the angels, profitable though it may be. We bounty hunters aren't completely amoral, reckless, undisciplined scumbags, you know."
> >
> > Before the former Regent could reply, the honeymoon suite was rocked by an explosion, shaking soundproofing tiles from the ceiling and causing the hololights to flicker on and off. The woman grabbed her fugitive by the scruff of the neck and yanked him down behind the regeneration tank just as the door to the room blasted inward in a cloud of electrically charged blue smoke. In an impressive display of dexterity, the lithe female sprung from cover and unleashed a barrage of disruptor fire in mid-air, taking out 5 hovering submission droids as they stormed the room. Unfortunately, she wasn't quite impressive enough to take out all of the half dozen concussion grenades that accompanied them, whistling through the suite and bouncing across the floor before detonating in a blinding flash of rapidly expanding air.
> >
> > She may have lost consciousness altogether were it not for the fracturing regeneration tank, which spilled over top of her and washing her across the marble floor in a tide of chilled green slime. Sputtering, she lifted her head, eyes burning with murder in her heart for the rival that stood gloating over her.
> >
> > "Squibb" she growled in her multiple voices. "I can not count the number of horrible, horrible things I am going to do to you for this."
> >
> > "Heya Cin, how's business?" the four-armed lizard asked from behind the bounty, multiple guns pressed to Mandlebroot's head. "You were probably giving the slimeball here one of your patented little speeches about integrity and whatnot, weren't you?" He absently licked some of the dust from the explosion off of the surface of one of his own eyes. "They're loads of fun, and really informative. Feel free to share 'em with what's left of the security detail out there in the living room... Some of the larger chunks might still be sentient."
> >
> > Cin fought through the ringing in her ears to focus on the loathsome mercenary who was dragging her bounty towards the suite windows. "You're too late, Squibb... I've tagged him. He's mine."
> >
> > "Ew... and I thought the prostitute thing was just a cover. You mammals and your sick, twisted fertilization practices." The lizard shuddered. "Point is, I got him now, and we've got a tram to catch." He looked to the squid-like prisoner. "So... anything breakable on you that I should know about?"
> >
> > Mandlebroot blinked. "What?"
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> > "Never-mind..." Squibb shrugged his primary shoulders. "Let's find out together." And with that he tackled the Ex-Regent into and through the window's holo-field.
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> > "Dammit!" Cin growled, scambling to dive through the windowpane's flickering false image of the Greater Enzylac Mountain Range herself. She blinked to adjust her eyes as she entered free fall, witnessing the actual exterior of the hotel suite: A service trench 70 stories high, twisting down towards the reactor core of the station far below. She grunted with effort as she twisted her body to grab the edge of the last car of an airborne maintenance tram that was zipping by at high speed.
> >
> > Squibb leaned over to peer down at her from atop the tram car. "Persistent little minx, ain't she?" Squibb confided with admiration to his captive, just before he let off a barrage of pinpoint needler fire.
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> > Cin swore in seven languages simultaneously as she swung down to the underside of the moving vehicle to avoid the projectiles. "Will you listen, you halfwit!" She screamed over the whine of the hover engines, her claws digging into every seam and crack available in the riveted hull. "I implanted him with an unbalanced, super-heavy solution keyed to my vitals!"
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> > "Gross. You mammals really are perverts" he called back, easily dragging the captive along as he raced towards the front of the line of tram cars. "Look, I'll explain how it's supposed to work once, and only once: The mother lays the eggs, then gets drunk and wanders off for a few days. The father finds the clutch and fertilizes them... maybe eats a few... pickles some others for later, if he's got a long trip ahead of him... but leaves a couple to hatch. The first ones out devour their smaller siblings. That's the way the whole circle of life is supposed to work... Everyone keeps their unbalanced fluids to themselves, as the Holy Four-Armed intended."
> >
> > "Please... I'll die if I'm taken from her!" Mandlebroot begged, his tentacles grasping in panic for purchase along the smooth top of the public transportation.
> >
> > "Man... she really tagged your brains out" Squibb observed with revulsion. "Look Squigley, I'm sure you'll have the opportunity to be implanted plenty of times in the prison shower once I turn you in. Until then, just relax and think of Transworld Challenge statistics or something." He peeked hesitantly over the edge of the rapidly moving car. "Think we lost her?" he asked hopefully.
> >
> > There was a blinding flash as a maximum power, burning column of electric blue light seared through the automated tram from below, barely missing the Lizard's head.
> >
> > "Yeah... that'd be a "no" the lizard observed nervously as the wounded conveyance automatically set a course for a nearby maintenance dock. He scanned the labels on nearby access hatches. "Ah! Promenade!" he exclaimed, grabbing the ex-Regent by the tentacles of his chin. "That's our stop!" he noted helpfully as he dropped a magnetized trip mine and leaped from the side just as Cin pounced up onto the roof of the tram, disruptor humming.
> >
> > "SQUIBB!!!" she growled in rage, forced to leap after him as the trip mine exploded sending flaming wreckage scattering through the giant interior chasm. Dropping through the artificial gravity of the station, she let loose a few smaller, controlled bursts at the free-falling targets in front of her, although relented when her adversary twisted in air to use the bounty as a living shield... Not out of any consideration for the bounty, but more to keep from having to drag his carcass back to the loading dock where her ship awaited... Or vaporizing a valuable carcass altogether.
> >
> > Squibb switched to a Skree repulsor cannon in mid flight and fired a series of shots, using the back-blast to help steer his fall towards a rapidly approaching access tunnel hatch. All in all, he did a pretty decent job of it, as only Mandlebroot clipped the edge of the irising opening with a painful yowl as they went tumbling through and began sliding rapidly along the smooth, winding, low friction tunnel.
> >
> > Cin followed suit, although she took a severe jolt to the shoulder as she narrowly made the opening in pursuit. Her own spacesuit was a low-friction memory fabric, which allowed her to gain on her quarry... although the cephalopodic hostage's frantic attempts to suction himself to the tube via any number of tentacles was a significant help as well. So much so that she almost felt bad when her next shot took off one of his writhing limbs by accident. Almost.
> >
> > Squibb glanced over his shoulder at the sound of the fugitive's latest yelp of pain and groaned himself. "Cripes... get your own obscenely large payday, Kitten" he called out, turning his needler back on and firing blindly behind him.
> >
> > The cat-woman spun into a dizzying series of acrobatic moves to dodge the wilding ricocheting shrapnel pouring down the tunnel at her. Shards of hyper-accelerated metal flickered off the walls around her by the thousands, but impossibly she managed to twist around the bright stream of tracer fire that marked their path. She clawed at the walls to put a bit more distance between herself and the gunman ahead of her.
> >
> > "Dammit... I knew I should have brought more heavy explosives." Squibb growled to his bounty, observing that his rival was largely unperforated. "You never think you're going to need 'em later, you know? And so you us 'em on doors, and bodyguards, and hotel guests who mistake you for the bellhop..." He performed a tail-whip which spun the two of them around, putting Mandlebroot in front of him. "Get the door, will ya?"
> >
> > The bounty blinked in confusion just before the two of them slammed through a ventilation grate and tumbled 10 meters down into the busy shopping promenade of the station proper.
> >
> > "Thanks" Squibb noted, grabbing the battered and stunned hostage by the back of his slime-coated bathrobe and sprinting off through the crowd, dragging him easily behind.
> >
> > Cin shot gracefully out of the tunnel moments later, landing among the stunned patrons of the shopping district. She paused to look about her, and her lips curled sourly as she observed the slime trail. Too many witnesses now... A clean and quiet extradition was going to be impossible, and station security was surely converging on their location. Even with a legal warrant... especially with a legal warrant... that was not good news. There was a reason the ex-Regent had chosen to go into hiding on this station...
> >
> > The blast hit her in the left side before she could even react, sending her rolling into a digizine stand. She clutched her side where her suit had absorbed the energy of the bolt, though the particle impact had bruised a few ribs. With a snarl, she flipped upwards to avoid the next shot which vaporized the stand's cash register. People scattered in all directions to avoid the conflict, and out of the corner of her eye she caught a personal security force hurriedly escorting their client to the relative safety of the nearby employee-only express lifts.
> >
> > Squibb had stashed his hostage and circled back to deal with the pursuit in the best way he knew how... random annihilation. "How about a deal, Cin? You let me bring in your boyfriend, and the next time there's an intergalactic war leading to an insanely priced bounty, I'll let you have it. Or at least split it with you. Almost evenly." He fired again at the annoyingly-hard-to-kill rival. "That's fair, isn't it?"
> >
> > "How is that fair, you psychotic little gecko?" she called back from under cover while she disengaged her weaponry and set the power pack to slag itself. The game was up... no use having to explain more than absolutely necessary to the authorities, or being caught with contraband weapon systems on a neutral station.
> >
> > "Well, I've got this one all wrapped up already..." Squibb reasoned. "You haven't even caught the hypothetical future bounty yet. And since I know where this one is, and you don't..."
> >
> > "I'm guessing you rendered him unconscious and stowed him in one of the express lifts so you could focus on ambushing me."
> >
> > The lizard paused. "Well... um... Maybe, sure... But you don't know which one now, do you?"
> >
> > There was a muffled thump that could be heard even from the promenade level as the frosted glass wall of one of the rapidly rising express lifts was coated from the inside with a magenta goo, and a few larger bits that may have included a tentacle or two.
> >
> > Looking up, Cin frowned from her cover position. "Huh... that's at least 40 yards, I'd say... I'll have to see about adjusting that range for the next time." She glanced out at the confused Squibb. "I told you I tagged him, moron."
> >
> > The cold-blooded bounty hunter shuddered in revulsion. "Is that what all those inter-species venereal disease notices were about during the war? No wonder they took those so seriously." He looked to his rival for a reaction, but the cat alien had disappeared. In fact, he was surprisingly alone on the longest active thoroughfare of the Station. At least he was, until the lockdown bulkhead shuddered and opened to reveal a large contingent of heavily armed and very angry looking rapid response troops.
> >
> > "I really should have brought more explosives" he sighed just before he shot first.
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> >
> >
> > "He got away?!" Cin gaped in disbelief.
> >
> > "According to the feeds I'm getting, yeah..." Sul replied over the secure video hook-up. His three eyed face peered out from the dashboard of Cin's sleek stealth cruiser. "Took down 37 station guards and caused 45,000 credits worth of damage first, though. Not to mention the assassination..."
> >
> > Cin frowned sourly. "He didn't actually mean to off Mandlebroot..."
> >
> > "Not Mandlebroot... the other passenger in the elevator." The intergalactic bondsman keyed up a newsfeed which scrawled across the lower part of Cin's heads-up display. Prime Negotiator Putrige of Frammistat 8 Killed on Enzylac Station By Suicide Bomber. Co-Conspirator Still At Large. "A Lecithan like Mandlebroot is a nobody compared to one of the Toad's top men... He was involved in some heavy, ultra secret trade dealings on the station between the Toads, the Skunks, the Skree and the Z'sox, if you can believe it... all of 'em trying to salvage something out of the mess they made in the Parody War, none of 'em quite trusting the other. As you can imagine, one of the prime participants being reduced to slurry didn't help much. Half the galaxy is pissed off and want answers."
> >
> > Cin's ears perked up. "And just how badly do they want answers?" she asked mildly.
> >
> > "Very badly" Sul answered with an oily smile. "Enough to make Mandlebroot look like chump change. I'm uploading the bounty notice to you now... but don't waste your lead. Everybody and their mother is going to be after his hide now."
> >
> > Cin smiled in delight as the bondsman signed off. Things hadn't quite worked out as planned, but apparently it wasn't the total loss she had first feared. "Alas, poor Squibb..." she clucked to herself. This was going to be fun, hounding him across the galaxy... especially since he had left himself nowhere to go to ground. "After all..." she noted in delight to the navigation computer as she set her sensors to track the known emission signature of his ship, "...What kind of complete idiot would give him sanctuary now?"
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