Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
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Post By
Nats

Member Since: Thu Jan 01, 2004
Posts: 85
In Reply To
Written by Lisa (shared, with permission, by Visionary)

Subj: Loved this take on it.
Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 at 08:02:46 pm EDT (Viewed 238 times)
Reply Subj: Into The Darkness
Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 at 10:42:24 pm EDT


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> INTO THE DARKNESS
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> St. George looked at the dragon. The Dragon looked back, its great scaly head bent low to meet the famed warrior’s gaze directly.
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> “Well, I suppose we should start fighting now…” St. George spoke with hesitance and more than a trace of reluctance.
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> “Indeed, everyone expects it,” the Dragon replied.
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> St. George continued in a rush of words, “You do understand, don’t you? It isn’t personal. It’s just that all these good folk think you’re the Devil. They think that you demand the sacrifice of their children in exchange for water,” St. George paused miserably. Feeling that he was babbling, he made his position as clear as possible to the huge, sentient reptile. “The townspeople don’t know any better, and it’s worth my life to let them down. Please say you understand.”
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> “Of course, I understand,” soothed the beast. “You really have no choice.” Its voice was lovely and silky, and as patient as stone.
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> “Um, so, do you want to start? Or should I…” St. George’s white horse shifted impatiently under his armored bulk.
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> “Perhaps it might be best if first I showed everyone how truly evil I am. In that way, you won’t feel so badly about slaying me. My death will seem only right and proper after all.”
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> “Would you really do that for me?” asked the anxious knight, scarcely able to believe his ears.
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> “Why not? If I must die, is it necessary for you to suffer as well?” the Dragon smiled as best a dragon can, all teeth and stale blood.
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> “I never looked at it like that,” admitted St. George. “Most people wouldn’t think of being so thoughtful, especially to the one who murders them.”
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> “Being thoughtful is the least I can do, especially after what happened last night.”
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> Dropping his voice to a whisper, St. George leaned close to the creature’s maw and asked, “Did you really eat all those children… even the important ones?”
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> “Yes, I really did.”
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> “Wow,” St. George thought for a moment and then confided, “You know I’ve always wanted to do that. Children are so noisy. I don’t believe that I’ve ever liked them.”
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> “It’s time,” reminded the Dragon, stretching its sinewy wings and snorting a single perfect ring of smoke.
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> The waiting audience of peasants, feeling something was required of them, oohed and awed at this casual display of power. Clearly only a minion of Satan could create fire in its belly.
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> “Couldn’t I just pretend to kill you? Then, when it’s dark, you could sneak off and terrorize a different kingdom. No one would ever know. God knows, one dragon looks much the same as another, particularly at night. Er, no offense.”
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> “None taken. But it wouldn’t work. Besides, I am evil incarnate and so must die for the good of all humanity. Furthermore, my righteous slayer will be honored for generations to come as the bravest of heroes,” Pause. “Why on earth do you keep putting this off?”
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> “But I’ll be so lonely, and not one of them will need me afterward…” St. George gave a whimpering sigh and gazed pleadingly at the monster.
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> “Come now, it’s time to do your duty,” the Dragon began to look reproachfully at the unhappy man.
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> One good strong thrust of a saintly sword completed the act.
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> Then St. George rode off alone, into the darkness.
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