Adventures in Parodyverse - Cyberpunk v1


    Leonard Hunter woke up Halloween morning feeling a little down.  As a child, it was his favorite holiday - but as an adult, it was work as usual.  Well not quite ‘as usual’, because in an effort to curb childish pranks and behavior, the powers that be circulated memos warning that anyone taking part in dressing in costume, pranks, or decoration of cubicles for Halloween would be summarily terminated.

    His favorite holiday had been reduced to tiny print on the calendar at his desk at work.

    Sadly his family wasn’t much better off.  His daughter Claire brought home a note from her high school warning of immediate suspension for any of the same activities his work warned him about.  His wife had already been suspended for a week because she hung a skeleton from the mirror of her school transportation van.

    In a way, perhaps all these suited authority figures were right.  In Paradopolis these things tended to get out of hand, and usually ended up in the domain of the Lair Legion.  Still, it was quite heavy handed, and even harder on the kids.

    Once his mind had stopped wandering he realized that he had woken up late.  The old LED display alarm clock was going nuts, its bright blue digits flashing unintelligible characters.  He sighed and unplugged it.  “Honey, the alarm clock’s broken,”  he told his still sleeping wife, as he shuffled off to the bathroom to shower.

    When he arrived downstairs, he realized something odd was going on.  His teenage daughter wasn’t there.  Could her alarm clock be broken too?  No wait...the television is turned on, but displaying only static interrupted by short intervals of audio and what could be flashes of picture.  Yes, the power must have gone out, and the cable was still down.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Claire?”  he called out.  Not feeling up to a large breakfast, he pulled a couple of toaster pastries out of the cabinet and put them in the toaster.  Then louder, “Claire, move it, you’re going to be late for--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Gaaah!!”  he suddenly screamed.  The toaster gave him a nasty shock as he tried to drop in the toaster pastries.  “What the hell...?”  He examined the toaster from a safe distance, and then quickly reached over the counter to unplug it.  He had a sinking feeling that whatever happened overnight to the appliances, he would have a large insurance claim to file.

    He grabbed a box of cereal and called out again.  “Claire!  Dammit, I’m not kidding around!”

    Then Leonard opened the refrigerator.  It was hard to open, it took some muscle to pull the door.  Inside it was a frozen wasteland, like the inside of the coldest deep freezer.  All the liquids, including the milk, were frozen and their containers burst.  He frowned and slammed the door shut.

    Just then, Claire burst into the kitchen from outside.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Where the hell were you?”  Leonard yelled at her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dad, don’t you ever look out the fucking window?”  Claire yelled back at him.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Watch your language!”  he warned as he looked out the window.  And then he said, “Oh, fuck.”

    The sky was red, and dark more like dusk than dawn.  Cars were abandoned in the middle of the street, doors open, including a police car.  There were no people, it was if they had all fled - only dark houses were left behind.  And something moved.  It wasn’t a man, or even a dog.  It had glowing red eyes.  It vanished as quickly as it appeared.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Fuck!”  he yelled again louder.  “We...we should...Claire, are the doors locked?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Duh,”  Claire replied.  She obviously wasn’t as disturbed by this as Leonard.  “I watch Buffy, you know.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Holly!”  He suddenly called out, running upstairs to check on his wife.  She was awake, staring, and shaking as if she’d seen something absolutely horrifying.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Holly, are you all right?”  Leonard said, shaking his wife gently.  “Speak to me, please!”

    Holly turned her head slowly until her hollow, fearful eyes were level with his.  And then she said, softly at first, but trailing off in a near scream, “It’s here...it’s in the HOUSE!”

    The hair on his neck stood up, and as he turned around, he saw Claire standing in the doorway of the room, smiling.  Her eyes glowed red.


---


    Yuki Shiro climbed aboard her motorcycle and revved the engine as she slipped on purple sunglasses that matched her hair, and went with her leather pants and jacket.  She was first to get the call about weirdness in the Hayden Court neighborhood.  It was Halloween, there was always weirdness somewhere in Paragon City.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Okay, beautiful,”  she complimented her bike, patting the fuel tank gently with her gloved hand.  “Let’s get there and get this over with quickly.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure, Yuki.”  a childish voice echoed in her head.

    Yuki looked around the Lair Mansion garage quickly.  She turned off the bike’s engine to listen more carefully.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Something wrong?”  the voice asked, with a little sadness.  “But you’ve maintained me so well.”

    Instinctively, Yuki leapt off the bike.  She walked a circle around it twice, just watching it quietly.  “Is that...you?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Who else would it be?”  the voice replied slowly.

    She eyed the bike closely, looking for anything that screamed Al B Harper.  “Has Al been making modifications...?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No way!”  the voice responded.  “This special day has given me a chance to acknowledge all the hard work you put in to keep me healthy and safe!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Special day, eh?”  Yuki warily boarded the bike again.  This was weird, but then again, it is Halloween in Paradopolis.  “Okay, bike,”  she said, gently tapping the fuel tank again.  “I’ve always trusted you, and I hope you’ve always trusted me.  No Halloween gremlins will get between us...right?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Right!”  the bike acknowledged.  “I have a surprise for you!”  it said in a singsong voice.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh?”  Yuki asked.

    Before she had a chance to respond, the shiny painted fiberglass parts on the bike began to flow and change shape.  It happened in the span of only a couple of seconds...and during that time, the bike morphed into a shiny cocoon that looked like something out of an anime.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh, cool.”  Yuki smirked as she settled into the tight-fitting cocoon.  She revved the engine, and felt a rush as its sound had chanced to something reminiscent of a super-sonic jet and a race car combined.  She gripped the handlebars tightly, put up her feet, and said, “Let’s go.”

    She cheered loudly as the bike noisily peeled out of the garage, and then added, “I loooove Halloween!”



TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2007 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin