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Undisclosed Location, Date & Time.
There are four men in an elevator. They are standing in two rows. Two in the front, two in the back. The two men in the back have black cloth bags placed over their heads.
The taller of the two in the back is wearing a bright neon yellow height length trench coat, it had seen better days. Under his coat, starting from the bottom going up is a dirty pair of yellow Chuck Taylor All-Star tennis shoes. On his feet & in the shoes are red & yellow striped knit socks. Moving up his body, he wore a paint of high water burgundy red tweed slacks with a black plastic belt. His belt proudly told anyone who read it that Virginia is for Lovers! Partially obscuring anyone's view of the belt buckle is his mustard yellow/sangria red striped knit sweater vest. Under the vest is a mustard yellow dress shirt & his tilted to the left a bit fire engine red bow tie.
Next to him, the other man with a bag on his head is dressed as follows: He had navy blue canvas Chuck Taylor All-Star tennis shoes. On his feet & in his shoes were a pair of argyle socks. He wore a well-worn, ripped in places, pair of blue jeans. Moving up the body, he had a unbuttoned red & black flannel shirt on. Under the flannel shirt was a dark grey t-shirt. It was for the band Inflatable Monkey & was sold on their '98 tour. The shirt, much like the pants as well worn. It had the Band's logo/mascot: a big, pink monkey shaped balloon animal.
Both of them had their arms were crossed behind them & were handcuffed. The two men in the front were dressed in black suits, black necktie, white dress shirts & black dress shoes. They also had black sunglasses on. They had their arms were crossed front of them, they were not handcuffed.
There was some instrumental music playing. The taller of the two men in the back row danced and sang along to the music."There's a party over here, a party over there! Wave your hands in the air, shake your derrière! These little words mean you're gettin' busy: Whoomp there it is! Whoomp there it is! Whoomp Chaka laka laka laka laka! Whoomp Chaka laka laka laka!"
The elevator reaches it's distention & the four men exit the elevator. The men with bags on their heads as escorted by the men in black suits. After a short while, The men with bags on their heads as forcefully seated & the bags removed. The Taller of the two men's maroon colored red hair is done up in what looks like a messy attempt at a pompadour. He also had on a pair of glasses, they were the kind that would would get at movie theaters if you were going to see a 3-D movie. The other men has messy, dark brown hair & a pair of black horned rimmed glasses which were slight askew.
After their eyes adjust, they both looked around to see where they are. The man with a the pompadour said."Hey! This isn't a Sushi Bar!"
"Are you normally get kidnapped off the side of the highway, handcuffed, have a bag placed over your head & taken to a secret location for sushi?" a voice asked.
The man with the pompadour thought for a moment & then responded. "Yeah."
The man who asked the question walked over to the two of them. He was a tall, slender, bald man of african decent. His goatee was trimmed nicely & he had a black eyepatch over one of his eyes. He was dressed in all black and had a long black leather trench coat. He had a look of contempt on his face.
"Hello." The man said & gave a slight nod of his head. This nod caused the men in the black suits to uncured the two seated gentlemen.
"Thank you. I think I was starting to loose feeling in my hands."
"Your Welcome."
"If we aren't at a Sushi Bar, where are we?"
"I'm sorry. I can't tell you that."
"Why not?"
"You don't have enough clearance."
The man with the red pompadour looked around some more. "This is SPUD, right?"
The bald man in black's left eyebrow raised up a few inches. "Why do you say that?"
"Looks like a place Dan D & his Spuddie Buddies would hang out. And if it's SPUD…." He said, paused & then reached into his back pants' pocket. He pulled out his red & yellow duct tape wallet.
He then took out a card & handed it to the man in the black leather trench coat. "... Would this get up more info?"
He looked at the card. It was a SPUD ID card with a Clearance Level of Alpha-1, a clearance level he thought only the director had.
"Who the f--- is Chadwick L. Swiss?"
"That's my friend over there." The man with the pompadour motioned with his right thumb to the man beside him. He gave a small wave hello with left hand.
"And you are?"
"Ronnie. Well… Ronald Arnold Gerrimoto Beeslyhuxtoy. But you can call me Ronnie & you can call him Chad."
Chad gave another small wave hello.
"Ok. Why do you have this?"
"Well… Chad doesn't carry a wallet & he didn't want to loose it so he gave it to me."
The man in the black leather trench coat rolled his eyes.
"No. No. How do you have this?"
"I just told you. Chad gave it to me so he wouldn't loose it."
"ok. Who gave him this card?"
"I think Dan D. did."
"When did you meet Director Drury?"
Ronnie thought for a moment & then replied. "A few years ago, Me & Chad were involved in magical tale of untold fantasy with the Lair Legion, SPUD & a few other folks. Chad spent some time just hanging out, hanging out with ol' Dan D. That's probably when he gave Chad the card. Not sure why. I think it was to make him feel better. He had just lost his accordion."
The man in the black leather trench coat noticed that the Chad's expression changed to one of sadness when the mention of his lost accordion came up.
"Speaking of Accordions, when will Chad be getting his Accordion back? I noticed that he doesn't have it."
"He'll get it back later."
"You Promise?"
"Yes."
"Cool. So does that card get us high enough clearance to know where we are? I know it's kind of low."
"Low?"
"Yeah. Doesn't Alpha mean the starting level & it moves up? The next level would be Beta then Gamma & on to the Omega level. Right?"
The man in the black leather trench coat paused for a moment & then said. "Yes. Yes, it does."
He handed Ronnie back the card. As Ronnie put the card back in his duel colored wallet, the man in the black leather trench coat noticed that there were a number of other cards in there.
"What other cards do you have in there?"
"Oh… you know. Just your average cards. I sure everyone has these in their wallet: your Blockbuster Video club card, Costco club card, A few other club cards for Grocery stores, ID cards for The FBI, The CIA, The FDA, The ATF, The OPS, The NWA, The FMRC, The JBH, The EEE, AA, The triple A, The quadruple A, The JLA, The LL, The AL, among others. I'm not sure who most of those are. Chad has gotten most of them. Why do you ask?"
"oh. No reason."
At that moment the man in the black leather coat thought "Is now a good time to say I was never in favor of this?"
There came answer. "No."
He thought "Pass me the coat hangar. Please. So I can end this."
There came answer. "No. Keep going."
"Are you having a telepathic conversation with someone?" Ronnie asked. "Because it looks like you are? And it's a bit rude to not include everyone on your conversation."
"Sorry."
"What were you talking about?"
"You don't have high enough clearance for that."
"Ok. Can I at least ask why we are here?"
"Yes."
"Ok. Why are we here?"
"We here because SPUD needs you help."
"With what?"
"Pregos."
"oh. What has that crazy multi-headed alien done this time?"
"Recently during a mission to…. somewhere to retrieve… something. Our…. group encountered Pregos."
"It wasn't in Kansas, was it? We've had some problem with Pregos in regards to Kansas."
"It wasn't in Kansas."
"ok."
"It appears that our group had angered Pregos."
"They didn't take a picture of Pregos, did you?"
"Yes."
Chad sighed.
"It is considered a offense worth of death by Pregos' people to have you killed on sight after taking a picture of them." Ronnie said.
"Do they think it steals their soul or something along those line?"
"No. They just don't like it."
"Noted. We lost contact with our team shortly after the photo was taken."
"Your team is probably having Pregos' babies by now. They don't call her Pregos the Impregnator for nothing!"
"Before we lost contact with the team, they were in radio contact with us & we hope you'd take a listen to the last few moments."
"Why?" Ronnie screamed. "I know what a Pregos Impregnation sounds like. I've been there for 5 of them. Sometimes that sounds still haunts my nightmares."
"We were hoping that you'd listen to it & maybe help us understand what is going on. The recording is a bit jumbled & from a few different people. There also gaps in the recordings."
"All the taste of Loborilla without the guilt."
Chad & Ronnie looked at each other. They were sure what that was & aren't exactly sure they'd want to know.
There was a gap in the sound.
"Bullshit!"
"What part of it is bullshit, Private?"
"Nothing, sir. I mean you just stepped in it."
"Aw Shit!"
There was a short pause then it started again with the sound of something moving quickly through a wooded area.There was a loud high pitched howling.
"Aw yes. The call of the Pregos." Ronnie said he & Chad both shivered.
"Dude, did you just see that? I mean, did you just see that?" said someone on the recording.
"I'm not even sure what that was! I think it was a…"
There was a another pause.
"You took a picture of it? You Idiot! Don't you remember your training? They'll never leave us alone now!"
Then another pause.
"Is now a good time to say I was never in favor of this?"
Then was another pause & then the silence was broken by the one phrase "OH MY GOD!"
There was a pause then a few moments of screaming, yelling & multiple bullets being fired.
"Ah, ah, I know what you're thinking. Di, Di, Did I fire six shots or only five? To tell you the truth, in all the excitement I forgot myself..."
"Oh, shut up already, Private! You don't have to say that every time! Plus, It's eating Johnson!"
There yet another pause.
"I hope you have insurance, you jerk!"
Then there was a few moments of screaming & multiple bullets fired. Then a pause.
"I do care."
Then a sound of high pitched scream.
"Why would I?"
Then most high pitched screaming.
"That's not true. I understand. We could do it together. You and I. We could change the world together!"
Then another high pitched scream & a more human scream.
Then there was another pause.
"I've always looked up to Visionary. No, really."
"Then, nothing. Nothing beyond a sounds of what we thinking our men being dragged by Pregos somewhere." The man in the black leather trench coat said.
"Well…" Ronnie started to say but then paused. "If I had one Canadian Dollar for every time I heard that...okay, I'd still be broke but I'm not sure why you think it's Pregos. Nothing about that recording says Pregos to me. It almost sounds more like a Yeti or the Yurt."
"But you identified that the call of the Pregos was on that tape."
"Yes. But the call of Pregos also sounds like the call of the yetis' we have encountered."
"There were no Yetis in the area of where our men were & the Yurt is… accounted for elsewhere."
"Still doesn't explain why you think it's Pregos."
The man in the black leather trench coat pulled out a picture from his coat pocket & showed it to them.
"oh. Yeah. The photo."
"Is that not Pregos?" He asked.
"Yeah. That's her."
"So far you two are the only known people to escape from Pregos without giving birth to one or more of her babies."
"Really?" Ronnie asked somewhat surprised.
"Yes. What we were wondering was how you've done that?"
"Shear force of will & a bit of accordion music."
The man in the black leather trench coat's left eyebrow raised up a few inches. "Accordion music?"
"Yeah. Music does sooth the savage beast & there ain't none savager then Pregos!" Ronnie said with a smile.
"Does it work with any type of accordion music?"
"Not sure." Ronnie said with a shrug of his shoulders. "We've always played something from the Top 40 charts & that seems to work. Pregos seems to be especially susceptible to the hits from the 1970's. I think it also helps if you dance along as the music is played."
"Dancing?"
"Yeah. Do you know the hustle?"
"The Hustle?"
"Yeah. you know.. the 1975 hit from Van McCoy and the Soul City Symphony with it's accompanying dance. If you don't want to go that far back we've found that the music from the 1980's is also good. WHAM! & Culture Club seems to work pretty well. You need to dance along to those song too. Maybe do some break dancing."
Chad nodded in agreement.
"So… The only reason you two have escaped from being impregnated by the Pregos is by dancing & playing pop music on an accordion?"
Ronnie thought about that question for a moment & then replied. "Yeah. I guess so. Nothing else seemed to work. We lost many a good man during our first encounter with Pregos back in '42."
Chad sadly nodded his head in agreement once more.
"42?" The man in the black leather trench coat asked with an eyebrow raised.
"Yeah. It was during the big one. We were all hunkered down in our foxhole. The commander of that dirty, smelly half dozen men we found our selves with told us that we much confound Jerry at every turn. But nothing seemed to work. They were just unprepared for Pregos. British Intelligence had not prepared these boys for a menace from space. I can still hear there screams sometimes in my nightmares."
"So… Disco music worked on Pregos back in 42?"
"Heck no! With the help of the Andrews Sisters we serenaded Pregos into a peaceful slumber. A slumber that lasted well into the mid 70's. That was until a certain man by the name of Daniel Tiberius Alowishus Carolyn Durry the 4th decided to disturb her slumber. He should know you never poke a sleeping Pregos with a stick. He of course died that day never to know that his wife, sweet sweet Mary Anne was pregnant with their first child who grew up head his own internationally disrespected super secret spy agency & discount retailer of high quantity used tries."
"ok." The man with the black leather trench coat said as he wasn't exactly sure how to respond otherwise.
"So… are we done here?" Ronnie asked.
"Yes. I think so." The man in the black trench coat said. He nodded. One of the men in black suits walked over & forcefully shoved Chad's accordion at him.
"So… how are we getting out here?" Ronnie asked before a black bag was placed over Chad & his heads'.
"Not this again." Ronnie said.
Then the men in black suit injected something into Chad & Ronnie which caused them to pass out.
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Sometime later….
Chad & Ronnie found themselves on a familiar street corner. They were across the street from Off-Central Park.
"Hey! We're back in Parrodipolis. Cool! We should go check to see if we still have our apartment."
Chad smiled & the two of them walked off down the street.
From a near by alleyway, there stood a tall, slender, bald man of african decent. His goatee was trimmed nicely & he had a black eyepatch over one of his eyes. He was dressed in all black and had a long black leather trench coat. He had a look of contempt on his face.
"I'd just like to say I was never in favor of this."
"Your displeasure is noted." said a voice only he could hear.
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TO BE CONTINUED?
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