Adventures in Parodyverse:  Catch and Release Part 1


    Anna shivered from a combination of fear, chill, and anger as yet another huge bucket of ice water was thrown into her face.  She gasped as soon as the deluge stopped.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why did you come back here?”  a man in a green military uniform and cap asked calmly.  He asked a variety of questions, each one punctuated by more icy water to Anna’s face, in the hopes of prompting an honest answer.

    Anna remained silent, however.

    The man was a soldier of SPUD.  They had done a lot of research since she escaped their custody, and finally determined a way they could hold her prisoner indefinitely.  They used electrical induction to trigger the electromagnets in her hands and feet, rendering her immobile with simple wrist and ankle bracelets.  Her hands were permanently clasped together tightly, and her feet were hopelessly locked together.

    She still wore clothing from the day she was taken, as their plan had a flaw.  They couldn’t quite change her clothing with her hands and feet locked together.

    More icewater washed over her face.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What are the Lair Legion’s weaknesses?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Enough.”  Dan Drury finally ordered, puffing his cigar.  He had been waiting there for hours for even one answer, but Anna remained quiet.  His own feet were falling asleep.  “Put her in the cell, we’ll think of something else tomorrow.”

    The cell he spoke of was a low-ceilinged room with walls of thick steel polished to a reflective finish, intended to prevent Anna from firing her high-energy lasers at it to break free.  Beneath that were thick ceramic tiles to protect against gradual heating breakouts, and then concrete bricks for support.  

    There were dents in the wall, and a couple of burn marks where she did attempt to escape, but those tries didn’t get her very far.

    As requested, two guards entered the interrogation room and grabbed her under her arms, lifting her off the chain that suspended her from the ceiling.  She wasn’t very heavy, so they simply carried her through the wide doorway and toward her cell.

    When the approached the cell, something unexpected happened.  Unlike the last two days, when she didn’t react at all, she finally did something.  She begged.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Please, don’t do this.”  she pleaded.  And then louder, when they got closer to the cell.  “Please, help me.  I don’t want to die here--”

    The last part of that sentence was cut off by her landing face-first on the steel floor, and then the door to the cell slamming shut.

    That cell was dark, completely dark.  Anna’s night vision needed a small bit of light to work, but with the door shut, that room was so black that she couldn’t even make out the walls.  She did the only thing she could, in the lonely silence.

    Lying curled up on the floor, her hands and her feet locked together, her hair and clothing soaking wet...she cried.  It was a very human reaction to feeling frustrated, lonely, and scared.  Nobody cared for her here, like they did at the Lair Mansion.  She missed her friends, and Visionary’s kids, and wondered if she would see them again.

    She drifted off to sleep as she cried.

    And then there were screams.  First angry screams, and then rapid fire gunshots, and then bloodcurling, horrified screams.  She lifted her head slightly, and then further when silence followed.  She heard the distinctive click of the mechanical door lock.  

    The door opened with its usual horribly metallic squeak.  Standing in the space where it used to be was a shadow with light flooding in around it.  The shadow carried a long, narrow object, like a sword.

    That shadow moved quickly into the room, and the sword came down hard on the bracelets bonding Anna’s hands together, and then again on the one attached to her ankles.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I shed blood for you.”  a breathless, familiar accented voice said.  The hand of the Psychic Samurai reached down to help Anna up.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why?”  Anna asked in a scratchy, raw voice.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So you would not have to lose your innocence.”  Chiaki Bushido told her.  She held the android’s hand tightly, and began to lead her out.

    Anna stepped over the bloodied, unconscious bodies of two formerly armed SPUD soldiers.  She began to breathe more quickly as the images seared into her artificial brain.  She saw that Chiaki still carried her blood soaked sword, and the sheath was strapped to her back.

    She took the Samurai’s hand, and followed her quickly down a long, empty hallway covered with locked doors, and into a fast moving elevator which took them above ground to the exit floor.  And then down another long hallway, and past an empty security desk.

    Anna couldn’t help wonder where all the security people were.  Basic strategy told her they were in for an ambush.

    The two of them were well on their way to the exit of the compound when Dan Drury stepped in their way, blowing cigar smoke in their faces.  They were only a few yards from the front door.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hold it right there, Samurai Girl,”  he said.  “You aint leavin’.”

    Chiaki immediately took the offensive.  “Your organization took Anna after you promised they would not.  I’m merely correcting what was wrong.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You attacked two of my men.”  Drury protested.  “One of them is now short a few fingers.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Self defense.  They were attempting to kill me.  I have a witness.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Tried to kill you while you were trespassin’ on government property.”  Drury clarified impatiently.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“If you try to stop me, I will kill you.”  Chiaki warned, tightening her grip on the sword.

    Dan Drury drew his pistol slowly and pointed it straight at Chiaki’s face.  “I got a direct line to the President.  Kill me, and you gotta go so deep underground, you’re never gonna see the sun again.”

    There was a long pause as the two warriors of different eras faced off for what seemed like an eternity.

    Finally, Drury decided to try more reason.  “My agreement was with Hatman, as Lair Legion leader.”  he said.  “The Carnifex runs the Lair Legion now, so that agreement expired.  As a courtesy, we haven’t destroyed Anna...yet.  Besides, she has to be debriefed first.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re stalling until backup arrives.”  Chiaki observed.

    He shrugged.  “Maybe.  But you aint gonna get by me anyway.”

    Out of the corner of her eye, Chiaki could see Anna shaking her head slowly, and shivering.  She had seen enough death already.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Would you loan me a handkerchief please?”  Chiaki asked disarmingly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“A what?”  Drury asked.  “Uh...okay, I guess.”  He reached into his uniform jacket pocket and pulled out a handkerchief.  He didn’t see how she could hurt him with one.

    Chiaki gently reached out and took the shredded piece of fabric and wiped off her sword carefully until it was fairly clean.  She then returned it to its sheath.  All while Dan Drury continued pointing the pistol at her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What are you doing?”  he finally asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m trying to convince you to let me and Anna leave.”  she said plainly.  “I don’t really want to hurt a reasonable man, and I don’t think you want to shoot me, either.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What makes you think I won’t?”  Drury asked, holding the pistol steadily.

    Chiaki simply stared past the pistol at Dan Drury, unmoving and not replying, as he kept his aim and chewed his cigar.  Those dark eyes silently watched him with a strange sort of certainty and bravery.

    Drury cursed, and holstered his sidearm.  “Look, Chiaki, I have my orders--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You said you have a direct line to the President.”  she offered.  “Perhaps your orders can be changed.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hon, my orders come from a higher authority.”  Drury said, blowing more cigar smoke in her direction.

    Chiaki narrowed her eyes and shook her head.  She didn’t understand.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The Carnifex.”  he clarified.  “We asked for the android back and he said ‘yeah, sure’.  He’s Earth’s greatest hero, y’know.  You gonna stand against that?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“If I believe he’s wrong, yes.”  Chiaki replied clearly.  “Perhaps he didn’t...understand the implications.  He’s only been leading the Lair Legion for a few hours.”

    She looked around her as she noticed a large crew of SPUD agents closing in, automatic rifles pointed at her and Anna.  Dan Drury did pretty well stalling for time till backup arrived.

    Then her attention was drawn to a nine foot tall battle suit.  Or what seemed like one, until she realized it wasn’t piloted.  It was essentially a robotic tank on two legs.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Tell ya what.”  Drury laughed, puffing his cigar as he signaled his men to stand down.  “I’m a gamblin’ man.  If you two can beat the Mech, you can go.”

    Chiaki noticed at that point the SPUD agents were starting to place bets, passing cash back and forth.  They were also alarmingly moving away quickly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh, one more thing.”  Drury noted as he began to step back, “This hunk a’ junk has computer control of all the defense systems at the base.  So be careful if ya end up outside.  Lotsa missiles and turrets and such.”

    The Samurai sighed.  She wished she had Lara or Liu Xi with her...but there would be no teleporting to safety this time.


TO BE CONTINUED?
    

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2010 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin