Adventures in Parodyverse - Past Preperation, Part 1


    Lara Night was dressed casually in sneakers, blue jeans, and a red cotton long sleeved shirt, and another black tee-shirt over it with some sort of monkey logo - it was given to her by Chad & Ronnie a while ago.  She accompanied Jay Boaz, who was wearing hiking boots, jeans, and a white short sleeved tee-shirt that said Hatman on it.

    When they stepped out of the cab, it was obvious why Lara wore the extra layer.  She pulled the jacket she brought with her out of the cab and put it in - there was a chilling breeze ushered in by the fall season.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Aren’t you cold?”  Lara asked the Capped Crusader.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No.”  he answered plainly.  He looked across the street at some shifty types, their presence normal for Hell’s Bathroom.  They were looking around pretending to be innocent.

    The cab drove away quickly, its tired squealing, as if it were trying to get away before anyone tried to hail it.

    Lara and Jay stood in front of a run-down building.  It was a simple cube shape, deeper than it was wide, and rather short.  It had one and a half floors - the upper floor being smaller than the lower, because if its steep shingled roof.  The building was painted grey, and there was a single white cross positioned above the windowless metal double entrance doors, with a window to each side of it, fortified with steel bars.

    On the black painted door there were small white letters reading ‘Zero Street Mission’.  Jay reached for the left knob on the battered doors and opened it.

    The room inside was barely lighted, and the smell of food from the day before filled the place.  There were three rows of picnic tables set up, replacing the usual pews which were stacked to one side.  The back of the room still had a large cross and a podium in place.

    To the right buffet equipment was set up, only it was currently empty.  There was some clattering coming from beyond an open door behind there.

    Jay led Lara through the small doorway, into another room which had been set up as a staging area - tables covered in clean white tablecloths, stacked with paper plates and plasticware.

    Just to the left of that was a kitchen, and that’s where the clattering was coming from.  A couple of volunteers had come in early, and Reverend Mac Fleetwood was helping them set up.

    Mac’s face wore the awful experiences he’d been through during the Parody War.  He perpetually looked tired, and he walked with a cane.  Even so, he always greeted everyone with a warm smile, and moved with exhausting enthusiasm.

    He headed right for Jay, smiling, and offered his free arm for a firm handshake.  He then did the same for Lara, only more gently.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You two ready to work?”  he asked with a wink.

    Lara couldn’t help but smile.  His attitude was infectious.  “Sure.”  she replied.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I have something special for you two.”  Mac said.  He pointed to a heavy looking white refrigerator as tall as the room was, and as wide as two normal ones.  It was pushed up against a tall cabinet.  “I had that in here since...well, pretty much since I took over this place.  Kept fixing it, kept it working.  But now it’s just getting too expensive.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You need us to move it out so you can get something more efficient and reliable?”  Jay asked.  “No problem, Mac.”

    Once Mac nodded and led the other volunteers into the next room to set up, Jay turned his attention to Lara.  “You don’t mind, do you?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, I don’t mind.”  she replied with a smirk.  “It’s not nearly as dangerous as what you usually ask me to do.”

    Jay grabbed the back edge of the fridge and began pushing it away from the wall.  As he made progress, Lara squeezed between that and the cabinet for leverage and pushed as well.

    At one point Lara stopped, and Jay checked to see why.  She was looking down at the floor.  

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What’s this?”  she asked.

    He walked around to the other side to see what he was talking about.  He expected maybe a dead mouse, or some sort of bug infestation, in such an old place.  Instead, there was an area of floor tile missing...there was a wooden door in its place.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Probably just a cellar.”  Jay said.

    Lara looked at him.  “I don’t remember Mac saying there was one.”  She bent down and pulled.  The door didn’t move, so she pulled harder.

    Jay helped, and the door popped open with their combined effort.  There was no staircase, just a dark hole with no light.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We don’t need a flashlight, at least.”  Lara pointed out.  “I am a flashlight.  So are you with the right hat.”

    Jay smiled, but pretended not to be as amused as he was.  “We should probably tell Mac before going down there.”  he said.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No need to bother him for this.”  Lara handed the door over to Jay, and she jumped down.  The hole proved to be a little deeper than it looked, but not too far down.  It was about the height of a normal room.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What’s down there?”  Jay asked.  He saw her shining a light around.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’ve got to come down here and see this.”  Lara called back to him.  He was intrigued that her voice echoed, like there was a much larger chamber down there.

    Jay sighed and climbed in after.  As his feet hit the floor, he heard a  loud ‘bang’ above him.  Under his feet, he realized, was a wooden pressure sensitive platform.  It slammed shut the door above his head.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Don’t worry about that.”  Lara told him, “Trap or not I can open it.  This is more important, though.”

    She turned the light generated at her fingertips away from Jay, and it became brighter.  They were in a large room built out of large stones, that obviously pre-dated the building above it.  The stones that would have been the outer wall of the Zero Street Mission had some missing.  Outside that looked like a cobblestone road.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What the heck...?”  Jay asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know.”  Lara whispered.  “It looks like another Hell’s Bathroom...one that’s been buried under the one we know today.”


---

    
    Mac Fleetwood looked around the back of the refrigerator he asked Lara and Hatman to move.  It looked like it had only been shifted a few feet forward.  He frowned at first, noting that they weren’t there.

    He walked around to the back and looked down at the floor.  His frown turned to a smile as he saw the forgotten door.  “Bravo for them,”  he said.  “I’ve never had the courage to go down there.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Who are you talking to, Mac?”  one of the volunteers who just entered behind him asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Just myself,”  he replied.  “Wouldn’t be caught talking out loud to the man upstairs.  I’m not crazy, you know.”


---


    Lara walked quickly behind Jay Boaz.  He wore his suns cap to light the way, so they could see farther down the dark cobblestone road.  He was also ahead of her out of habit - being an unfamiliar location, he took his natural role as a leader.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Where do you think this road ends?”  Lara asked.  “I mean, there can’t be a whole other city down here.  It has to be just a section.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Huh?”  Jay replied distantly.  “Sorry I was trying to concentrate in case something is down here.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I doubt it.”  Lara pointed out.  “I see a layer of dust over everything, our feet are leaving prints in it.  If anything was down here it would have disturbed the dust.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh.”  Jay stopped, looked down at his feet, and noticed a haze of dust.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I bet this road ends under another building in Hell’s Bathroom, Jay.  Do you know of anyplace that existed as long as the Zero Street Mission?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The Fatal Toilet.”  Jay replied absent-mindedly.  “It’s been around since Prohibition.”  He then looked at Lara, and the two of them laughed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah, that would figure.”  Lara commented, “An underground path going from a church to a pub.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“But it has a cellar.”  Jay pointed out.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Maybe.  But how close did you look at it?”

    Jay thought for a moment as he shined the bright light from his cap on a stone brick wall at the end of the road.  “Good question.”


TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2008 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin