> Note: This is all I have to post at the moment. I had a busy week and didn't really finish anything else. I wasn't originally going to post this at all, so if you don't like it, take it with a large grain of salt. :)
> Adventures in Parodyverse - Infamy
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>
> “We gotta wrap this up,†Hatman tried to tell Lara Night discreetly in spite of all the noise surrounding them. He wore his trademark Hatman cap, and Lara was in that strange black and white costume she claimed a friend back home made for her.
>
> They were ducking behind an overturned car in Timely Square. Apparently the briefing they received about the situation - a pair of gunmen on the loose - didn’t begin to explain what was going on. They needed a new strategy.
>
> Those two gunmen weren’t just carrying automatic weapons. They were using high-impact force weapons stolen from SPUD - which could obliterate the faces of buildings or blow cars clear across a street.
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> Lara was tagging along with Hatman because at the time the call came in it seemed simple, and Jay Boaz didn’t want to go for overkill.
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> “Okay...maybe I can disable the weapons with high voltage--†She narrowed her eyes suddenly and looked at Jay. “What do you mean ‘we gotta wrap this up’? That’s not like you.â€Â
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> “Dream arranged another blind date for me,†Jay admitted sheepishly. “I’m already going to have to let her down, I don’t want to make things worse by being late, or standing her up.â€Â
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> “Gotcha.†Lara stood and rapidly raised her forearms, a symbolic gesture as she raised an energy shield around her. The force weapon discharge hit the shield and propelled her violently into the building directly behind her, the sound of crashing concrete and glass all around her.
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> Hatman rushed in after her, taking cover as another blast barely missed him. “Lara, are you okay?†he asked.
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> “Yeah,†she replied with a slight chuckle. “Lucky I thought to raise a shield first, eh?†She dusted herself off and stood. “I’m really mad now, though. I’ve had it with these two jokers.â€Â
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> “Lara, wait!†Jay stood quickly and reached for Lara as she headed toward the hole in the wall, expecting her to, like Yuki, escape his grasp and do what she wants to anyway.
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> But Lara was different from Yuki. She actually stopped and turned around. “What?â€Â
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> “The worst thing they’re doing to us is seperating us, hitting us one at a time, keeping us from working together,†Jay noted.
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> “Right.†Lara smiled and nodded. She took his hand gently and held it tight. “What do you think? Attack from above might get them?â€Â
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> Jay nodded. “At least it’ll keep more property from being damaged. Why, is there a back door so they won’t see us?â€Â
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> “Kind of.†Lara said with a shrug. Her feet left the floor, and she rocketed upward, towing Jay along behind her. Through the ceiling, and through floor after floor, until they cleared the roof.
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> He took his cue and switched to a Hawks cap, and swooped down so quickly that both gunmen were knocked to the ground before they realized doom was coming from above. He tumbled to the ground as his cap was knocked off during the melee.
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> Just as they reached for their force weapon guns to finish off Hatman, there was a bright flash and a deafening explosion. They were both blindsided, and thrown airborne, by a fierce bolt of lightning which blinded them and cut through them from nowhere. It knocked them both dozens of feet, tumbling into the street as smoking heaps, barely conscious. Both of their weapons had been reduced to glowing mounds of slag.
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> Hatman stood and looked around. The power was out for blocks, and there was only silence. Police cars were on their way, flashing blue and red lights were visible off the sides of the buildings.
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> “That’s quite some power you have there,†Hatman admitted. “I wish I could have you along on more missions like this.â€Â
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> Lara simply shrugged. “You’ll make your date on time,†she noted. She then laughed, sounding relieved, and gave him a high-five. “So I guess this was the easy stuff.â€Â
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> “Yeah,†Hatman sighed. “Can you wait for the cops? Buy me some time? I’m still running kind of late.†He put on his Rockets cap.
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> “Sure,†Lara said. She waved at him from the street below as he blasted skyward.
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>
> ---
>
>
> Jay Boaz sighed in frustration as he returned to the Lair Mansion after his date. He wanted to go directly to his quarters, but he redirected to the common room for a few minutes. He wanted to avoid being caught by Dream in the hallway and having to answer questions.
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> Dream was in the common room. But he hoped Dream didn’t see him, because he was next to Lara Night on the couch, teasing her and wrestling with her. He turned around with the intention to leave and get back to his quarters before he was noticed.
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> Unfortunately Dream saw him. He jumped up suddenly and said, “Jay! How did the date go?†He looked at the clock - it was kind of late - and he asked, “Did you get some ass?â€Â
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> A pillow launched into the air and collided with the back of Dream’s head like a padded missile. “Ow!†he exclaimed.
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> Jay looked at the source of the pillow launch. Lara sat sideways on the couch, which faced away from the door and toward the fireplace. One pillow next to her was missing, and she was giving Dream a look of warning and disappointment. Jay couldn’t help but smile, though he tried to hide it.
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> Dream decided to go with a different line of questioning. “Didn’t I tell you she has huge--†He stopped mid-sentence and glanced at Lara warily. “And she’s pretty smart too, isn’t she?†he quickly added.
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> “That’s not all that’s important, Dream.†Jay noted, focusing on the first part. But Lara interrupted before he finished the sentence.
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> “Maybe he wants to choose himself,†she suggested. “That way he feels a connection even before the first date.â€Â
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> Jay folded his arms and grinned slightly. He felt glad that Lara was standing up for him, but he didn’t want to say so to avoid it becoming a habit.
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> Dream moved close to Lara and put one arm around her waist. “What her?†he asked. “You two already get along.â€Â
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> “That’s because we’re friends,†Jay replied.
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> Lara nodded in agreement when Dream looked at her. “No connection,†she explained.
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> “Okay.†Dream nodded and let go of Lara as he walked to the door. “Sucks, though, that I’m going to my room for a hot threesome and you won’t even give one-on-one a chance, Jay.†He shook his head, giving Jay a look of pity as he left.
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> As soon as Dream was gone, Lara covered her mouth and giggled. She couldn’t help it. “I’m sorry,†she whispered to Jay as he stared at her, “It just sounded so funny, what Dream said as he left.†As she left the couch she added more seriously, “I think he’s a little offended the blind dates he sets up don’t work.â€Â
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> “Did he tell you that?†Jay asked, sounding concerned. He got a closer look at Lara as she stood, and noticed that a few of her shirt buttons had become undone. He could tell she was wearing a pink bra under her red shirt.
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> “Not really, no.†Lara responded with a shake of the head. “But he was so excited waiting for you to come back. Obviously he expected more from it.â€Â
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> “Did you expect more from Dream too?†Jay asked a little rudely. He noted Lara’s confusion, and explained what he meant. “I mean, with what you and he were doing when I came in...and your shirt--â€Â
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> She still seemed lost for a moment. Then she finally looked down at herself. “Ohhh, that.†She quickly straightened out her clothing. “You know...it kind of sounds like either you think Dream needs protecting or you’re jealous.â€Â
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> “A little of both,†Jay replied. “He has a family, Lara. And it’s--†He looked away and said the rest barely audible. “--a little unfair that...you know...â€Â
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> “Oh.†Lara waved Jay closer, inviting him to sit next to her as she returned to the couch. He did so, if only because their earlier successful mission earned her a little trust, at least. “I know he has a family, Jay. I admit we were wrestling like kids for fun, and maybe we shouldn’t, but I did turn down anything more than that.†With a sly smile she added, “Besides, the whole idea of a foursome is too much for me.â€Â
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> Jay tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t. He was even caught laughing a little.
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> “Now what about this unfairness part you mentioned? What’s unfair?†Lara asked, earning a cringe from Jay. He was obviously hoping she forgot about that.
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> Jay shrugged. He didn’t really know how to explain it. “I guess it’s the guy in me,†he admitted sheepishly. “I know I shouldn’t be...I know I shouldn’t think of you that way. But sometimes I do, I can’t help it. I’m sorry it came out like that.â€Â
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> Lara smiled warmly at that admission. “It’s not just guys that happens with, Jay,†she said. Her continued smiling implied more than she said, an admission which strangely soothed Jay. Then she changed the subject. “So why not just tell Dream ‘no’ if you don’t want him fixing you up on these blind dates?â€Â
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> Jay said with a sigh, “I just can’t seem to find a nice, diplomatic way to tell him, and make him understand. I tried telling him, I mean, but I can’t make him listen. He thinks he knows better for me, and I don’t want to yell at him and be mean about it.â€Â
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> “Well does he?†Lara asked pointedly. “Maybe he sees that you don’t try for yourself.â€Â
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> “Are you going to start on me too?†Jay asked almost angrily.
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> Lara frowned, and then looked hurt. “I’m not in charge of your life,†she said softly. “I only tell you what I see. I mean...maybe you’re happy right now.†She shrugged.
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> “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.†Jay sighed. “I’m kind of tired, I probably should go to bed.†He started to get up.
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> “What do you do on dates like the one tonight, anyway?†Lara asked, interrupting his attempted exit with a new line of questioning.
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> Jay stopped in his tracks and sat back down. “I don’t like to reject anyone by phone. It’s not my style. So I go and explain what happened, sometimes in a friendly place and sometimes over dinner.â€Â
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> “Is that what happened tonight?†Lara asked.
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> He nodded. “Though...and I don’t know where Dream finds these people, this one was particularly touchy-feely and affectionate.â€Â
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> Lara seemed amused by that. “She must have liked you,†she noted.
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> “Yeah, it seemed that way to me too.†Jay replied absent-mindedly.
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> “No, I mean really liked you. As in she left home hoping to end up at yours for the night.â€Â
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> “Oh.†Jay reddened a little with embarrassment. “I guess it’s good I told her the truth right away, then.â€Â
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> “Yeah,†Lara nodded and laughed. “I guess it wasn’t easy on you either, with this large-chested girl who wants you.†He seemed even more embarrassed, so she gave him an encouraging nudge.
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> “Can we talk about something else?†Jay finally asked.
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> Lara nodded and sat down. “Okay,†she agreed eagerly. “What’s on your mind?†She put one arm over the back of the couch and offered him her full attention.
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> Jay still looked as stiff as if he were expecting Lara to produce a death ray and vaporize him. He reached for a bottle of water Lara left for him on the table.
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> “Relax, Jay.†Lara urged him. She massaged his shoulders gently and joked, “The date’s over. Dream will just have to scrap the scenario he had, a threesome with you, the large-chested girl, and a vat of mint ice cream.â€Â
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> Jay spat out a little of the water as he finally laughed. “Mint ice cream?†he asked.
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> She shrugged. “I just threw that in because it sounded funny.â€Â
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> “I don’t mean to sound...you know,†Jay slowly began. “But I still have a hard time talking to you about relationships. Especially because you’ve been more...successful at it than me.â€Â
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> “Successful?†Lara laughed and shook her head. “Jay, my ex back home has had a serious girlfriend for months now, so he barely talks to me. I shrugged off Dream because that first encounter had too high a price, and doesn’t really offer any kind of emotional support. The blind dates you’ve had...I have to be asleep and dreaming to get that far lately.â€Â
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> “With large chested women?†Jay asked. He smirked.
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> “Ah, you got the sense of humor back!†Lara exclaimed.
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> “Yeah.†Jay replied with a smile. “You do cheer me up, Lara. And while I’m complimenting...don’t sound so bitter about the large-chested girl. You’re not so bad yourself.â€Â
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> “Aww, thanks.†Lara hugged him with one arm. “Though you and I both know you’re lying. I can’t beat anyone you’ve dated in that department.â€Â
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> Jay shrugged, seeming embarrassed again, and a little nervously forced out, “You’re more than beautiful enough to make up for it.â€Â
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> Lara smiled nervously, and a moment of awkward silence passed between them. Finally, she said, “That’s...a pretty good compliment,†she said. “Don’t use it on a blind date, though. It virtually guarantees it’ll end in your bedroom.â€Â
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> He laughed again. “I’ll keep that in mind.†He looked at the clock and then started to stand. “Speaking of my bedroom, I had a long day. I should get some sleep.â€Â
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> “Yeah, me too.†Lara stood also, and straightened her clothing again.
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> As Jay was leaving, he looked behind him and watched Lara pick up two magazines and the bottles of water she brought with her, and he felt something. Not quite attraction, but a feeling of slight sadness at having to go to bed. As strange as she was, he was beginning to enjoy talking to her. Dream was right in his simple assessment of her...she was fun, and he was starting to notice it too.
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> “See you tomorrow,†Jay called to her as he walked out of the common room.
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> -- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2008 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
> -- reprinted without permission.
> -- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
> -- Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
> -- Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin
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