Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
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Post By
Al B. Harper
In Reply To
killer shrike hopes they show up in PVB proper someday

Subj: I'm surprised they haven't already!
Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 at 09:35:45 pm EST
Reply Subj: Heh: "Bland Corporation." Good one
Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 at 12:11:52 am EST


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> > The Princess and the Great North Star: Chapter Five “Go Al B. Harper, Go!”
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> > The Hockenheimring, just outside of the town of Hokenheim, Baden-Württemberg, Germany, and home to the German Formula One Grand Prix.
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> > Today it bares witness to a rather unusual race between just two cars. It is a race to determine who will be the next world champion! It is also a day of good versus evil, of money and wealth versus pure determination and a never-say-die attitude. Everything Hollywood would love.
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> > Brock Brockson is the reigning world champion. The car he is casually leaning against is completely black except for the red logo of the Bland Corporation on its sides. It is the best car in its class that money can buy, which makes it the best in the world. Brock bares a striking resemblance to Dominic Clancy.
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> > Al B. Harper is the current world number two. His car, while not as sophisticated as the multimillion dollar Bland vehicle, makes up for it through the individual modifications that Harper and his pit crew (led by able first mechanic Amy Aston) have introduced. It is all white except for a stylish blue racing stripe running the length of its sides.
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> > There are two bikini clad women preparing to wave the checkered flag. One is a splitting image of Miss Muffy Framlicker, Al B.’s real-life business partner and former fiancé. The other is the splitting image of Kinki the Conqueress, time-travelling megalomaniac and the real-life mother of Al B’s two children.
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> > Dancer turns to her companion, the fairy Cinderbelle, and says, rather dryly, “Well, of all the scenarios for Al B. to be dreaming of, this wasn’t one of my guesses.”
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> > Al B. casually walks over to Brockson, extending a hand, “well, good luck…may the best man win.”
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> > Brockson spits in the direction of Al B.’s feet. “Time to lose…loser.”
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> > There are titters and giggles from Brockson’s crew as he jumps into his car.
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> > Al B. shrugs and walks back to his own car, dubbed “Yuki II”.
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> > Dancer turns to Cinderbelle. “Quick! We’ve got to get over there before they start!
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> > They rush over to Al B., “Al, Al B. Harper! STOP!”
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> > Al B. was about to get into his car but he turns at the calling of his name and recognises the woman calling him “Sarah Shepherdson, the pretty waitress with a heart of gold from the Bean n’ Donut. What are you doing here, and why are you naked?”
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> > Dancer looks down at herself. “Eek! What happened to the chainmail!?” She grabs one of the checkered flags and wraps it around herself, well, as much as she can, which isn’t much.
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> > Al B. looks at her again, “Oh wait, you’re not Sarah, I know you, you’re Dancer! How do I know that?”
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> > “Because this is just a dream, and we need your help to find Zebulon!” replies Cinderbelle rather agitatedly.
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> > “Zebulon…the elf? Wait, how do I know that?” Al B. asks.
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> > Dancer grabs both of Al’s shoulders. “Al, we need to know, have you seen Zebulon in this dream?”
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> > Al B. looks rather crestfallen. “A dream you say? Then…I won’t really be racing Mr Epitome, I mean Brock, and facing off his nefarious tricks like wheel spikes and oil slicks in order to win the day and deliver the message that a winning smile and honest attitude are all it takes to win the girl?...And…why are you naked again?”
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> > Dancer looks down at herself. “Eek!” She picks up the flag which had dropped when she had both her hands on Al B’s shoulders and ties her best to cover her self with it once more.
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> > “Right, well it doesn’t look like that thieving no-good is in this dream.” Cinderbelle states rather abruptly.
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> > “Oh, boyfriend troubles?” Al B. innocently asks.
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> > “He is NOT my boyfriend!” Cinderbelle replies with a look that could kill.
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> > Dancer giggles, “Anyway, Al B. we need to find Zeb so Cindy here can get her fairy mojo back. We think he’s in one of the Legionnaire’s dreams. Want to help?”
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> > Al B. looks at the two women. “Sure what the heck, it’s not like this dream is weird enough, jump in we can take my car.”
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> > The two women jump in as Al B. revs the engine, puts his foot to the floor and the car screeches off before jumping through a fairy portal into the next dream.
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> > “Oh no Harper,” shouts the nefarious Brock Brockson. “You don’t get away that easily!” He floors it on his own car which makes it through the portal just before it closes with a “POP”
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> > to be continued
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