Part 1

Adventures in Parodyverse - Creativity Part 2

    
    Hatman looked over the few remaining Lair Legion members.  He looked somber, but it cleverly covered up the mixture of emotions he felt.

    Just an hour ago, during a mission trying to stop what they were told was a rogue robot, they discovered instead a very intelligent and very dangerous android named Anna.  And Al B Harper, sitting at the opposite end of the table, seemed to show no reservations at all about bringing her to the Lair Mansion.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So can we keep her, Hatty?”  CrazySugarFreakBoy! piped up next to him.  “She is cute.  Someone should ask if she’s fully functional, if you know what I mean.”

    Hatman cringed at the thought of letting CSFB! anywhere near the android.  “What we have is a piece of military hardware.  They’re going to want her back, and aggressively try to take her.  We’re going to need serious legal standing--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How about that they stole my patent and then broke it?”  Al B Harper supplied.

    The Capped Crusader opened his mouth to protest.  It wasn’t a bad idea, though.  “Hallie, could you research that please?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Already on it,”  the green hologram woman replied.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I guess all that’s left,”  Hatman said as he leaned back in his chair, “is figuring out her intentions.  If she’s dangerous to us.”


---


    Earlier, Hatman arrived at the Lair Mansion first, having flown there.  The Stunulators at the entrance had been laser-blasted into a non-functioning state.  The front door was undamaged, however, likely because when the android Anna arrived, Flapjack was more than happy to let her in.

    Just when Hatman entered, the others arrived.  Yuki inspected the stunulators and was amused at their condition.  Al B Harper went ahead of them all and straight into the mansion.

    When Al B Harper reached his lab he was ecstatic.  Anna, still dressed in the same pink and white futuristic racing suit, was sitting on his lab counter obediently, head lowered, legs together and hanging off the edge of the counter.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Let her have some dignity,”  Yuki scolded Al as she arrived in the lab, before he had a chance to protest that it wasn’t his fault.  She pulled a chair up to the lab counter.  “Sit here, Anna, you’ll be more comfortable than on the table.”

    As soon as she sat in the chair Al reached around Anna with an interface cable.  He cried in pain as she grabbed his arm tightly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anna, he’s not trying to hurt you.”  Yuki raced over and took the cable, plugging it into the data port in her own neck.  “See?”

    The android let go of Al’s arm.  “I’m sorry,”  she said.  She paused and let Al plug her into his computer.  “Did I hurt you?”

    He looked at Yuki.  It was surprising to him that a military android would display empathy.  He then quickly lost interest in that when the data began flooding into his computer.  So much of it, and with such complexity, he had to send a message to Hallie asking her to help with the processing before his mainframe crashed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What’s up Al?”  Yuki asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Her thought processes are fascinating,”  he said.  “Someone really put a lot of work into this.  It’s a continuously shifting dynamic matrix alignment.”

    Yuki frowned.  “English please, Al.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Pretty much all robots and androids out there have linear thought processes because that’s how computers work.  For instance they have a dictionary of words and phrases and a tree of acceptable responses.”  He glanced at Yuki for a moment.  “Anna has none of those.  No dictionary, and no response tree.  No wonder the military directives failed...her brain doesn’t use software.  They can load it and she’ll be able to examine it, but she can choose to ignore it.  She thinks in objects and processes.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Again with the English on that last part.”

    Al B Harper replied somewhat impatiently this time.  He always became a little impatient having to explain things again.  “It means she learns by watching, listening, smelling and tasting.  Just like us.”


---


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I don’t see how she can be dangerous,”  Al B Harper supplied at the meeting.  “Well, besides the laser beam eyes and reflexes worthy if Mr. Epitome.  She’s a lot nicer than Dominic though--”  He stopped himself mid-sentence and slunk into his chair under Dominic’s angry gaze.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What’s your take on this, Dominic?”  Hatman asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m uncomfortable with this,”  Dom began.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What a surprise,”  CSFB! antagonized him as usual.

    Epitome continued in a more irritated voice.  “But she’s fairly docile for now.  If she makes even one aggressive move, though, the Lair Mansion is the one place in Paradopolis we can successfully contain her.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I agree,”  Hallie replied.  “I mean, I don’t expect her to go off on us, but she’s definitely in the right place.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So we get to keep her?”  CSFB! beamed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Um...excuse me,”  Visionary finally spoke.  “Can I, you know, at least talk to her first?  I’ve met some pretty nice robots that went berserk later on.  We might be able to guess the chances of that better if we all talk to her first.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Android,”  Al B Harper corrected.  As usual, he was ignored.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Good point,”  Hatman conceded.  “Okay, for now we keep her.  Meeting adjourned, pending Visionary meeting Anna.”


---

    Hatman entered the lab then, and was a little taken aback that Anna was so cooperatively allowing Al B Harper to hook her up to his mainframe.  Visionary followed him silently.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Good afternoon Hatman,”  Anna greeted him.  “How was your flight to the mansion?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Pretty good.”  Hatman approached Al B Harper.  “How is it going?”

    Visionary whispered, “Is she going to be at all dangerous to us?  I mean, she is still a military killing machine with laser eyes.”

    Before Al or Yuki could reply, Anna spoke up again.  “Please don’t be afraid of me, Visionary.  If it puts you at ease I will promise not to harm anyone while I’m in the Lair Mansion.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Even Flapjack?”  Yuki asked.  “Because he deserves it sometimes.”

    Anna nodded.  “Even Flapjack.  He was very respectful toward me.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Al did you do something to make her more talktative?”  Yuki asked.  “Or is it us?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I didn’t do anything,”  Al replied.  “I couldn’t write anything to her memory if I wanted.  She would just discard it.”  At that point he actually thought it rude to keep the cable attached to Anna, so he disconnected it.  He had all the data he could get from her anyway.

    Yuki smiled as a thought occurred to her.  “You know, Al, if you can decode her memories...she’s probably seen stuff at that facility we’re not supposed to know about.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s all been destroyed anyhow,”  Anna piped up again.  “I destroyed it, because it could be used improperly...maybe would have been.”  She looked at Hatman, her artificial eyes still conveying a sense of desperately wanting to speak her mind.  “I know about you, and Yuki...CrazySugarFreakBoy!, Visionary, and Mr. Epitome...because there are detailed files on you.  And Hallie too.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I was created not just as a weapon,”  she continued, “but as caretaker for the base.  In case the SPUD commanders and the base commanders were presumed dead during Operation Lair Island, I was to lead an attack on the Lair Legion with all those advanced weapons.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Operation Lair Island?”  Hatman wondered out loud.  A plan implying an assault on the mansion gave him chills.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“But you developed a conscience,”  Al B Harper finished.  “You watched the men and women working there.  Listened to them talk about their families.  Because you learn by watching and listening.”

    Anna nodded slowly, and looked down again.

    At that point, all eyes were on Visionary, the one person to withhold judgement at the meeting.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I um...”  Visionary moved toward Anna.  “I...think...I’d like to give you a chance.  I mean, we gave Liu Xi Xian a chance.  She wasn’t a military killing machine but still--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I look up to you too, Visionary,”  Anna said quietly.  “You have room in your heart for so many.  You give your life to your friends.  I would like to shake your hand.”  She slowly raised her hand toward Visionary.

    He took her pink and white gloved hand gently.  It looked so small in the center of his hand, he could almost forget that she was mechanical and had enough power in that little hand to kill a man.  He had been close to robots before, but this one seemed to have a gentleness and grace he’d never seen before except in Hallie and Yuki.  He shook her hand slowly.  “Um...thanks, I guess.  I’ve uh, heard good things about you too.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I think she knows you’re the holdout,”  Yuki joked with Visionary.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well--”  Visionary shrugged.  “I guess I’m not anymore.”



TO BE CONTINUED


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2007 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin