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Anime Jason 
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HH, with a comment within

Subj: Re: Nicely done.
Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 at 01:48:01 am EDT (Viewed 520 times)
Reply Subj: Nicely done.
Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 at 09:23:49 pm EDT (Viewed 2 times)



    Quote:
    This story offers a distilled, layered version of Keiko that comes across very well.



    Quote:
    That's a good thing, obviously, but that in turn cranks up the pressure to do the same thing for Sean. It's easy to see why Keiko's cool and what she brings to the party. Sometimes Sean gets left in her shadow. I hope this story will also allow us to see why he's "World Class" as well. What can he do better than Keiko?


That's actually supposed to be part of the progression, if I can keep the pacing up. At first everyone's supposed to be a stranger to Keiko, and eventually she has to discover them, starting with Sean.