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Manga Shoggoth

Member Since: Fri Jan 02, 2004
Posts: 391
In Reply To
Anime Jason 
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Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004
Posts: 2,834
Subj: That's the trouble with young people - they stack up the debt quickly and spend the rest of their lives paying it off...
Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 at 04:43:43 pm EDT (Viewed 599 times)
Reply Subj: That Strange Blonde Girl Part 5
Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 at 08:25:40 pm EDT (Viewed 727 times)



    Quote:

        The dispatch center was a small glass enclosed room with a single door, that looked like a radio station’s broadcast booth.  It was stocked with a rack of police scanners, and a few computers that monitored various things.  And then, of course, a headset and radio were used to contact the team members.  One of the team members was in there, wearing the headset around her neck and watching the computer screens.


Not Danny Devito, then...


    Quote:

        Ã¢â‚¬Å“The gun he’s using is some sort of gauss gun he invented,”  Rapture briefed her.  “It pretty much electrocutes someone to death.  The cops didn’t know what to do to stop it, so they called us.”


Nitpick: You are describing a Taser rather than a Gauss Gun. A Gauss Gun uses a magnetic field to accelerate a projectile (hence the name - Gauss is an old metric for magnetic field strength/flux density - named after Carl Friedrich Gauss)







As is always the case with my writing, please feel free to comment. I welcome both positive and negative criticism of my work, although I cannot promise to enjoy the negative.