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Adventures in Parodyverse: Adventure in Babysitting Part 5
Lara Night flew at high speed through the Lair Mansion after hearing the news. Running didn’t feel fast enough. She had the awful timing to disappear and return back to her Earth for a visit just before a crisis erupted involving some sort of demon consuming the Lair Legion. She found out about it from Flapjack as she strolled in through the front door.
“Where have you been?†he accused. “Don’t you know there’s a demon eating the Lair Legion?â€Â
She arrived at the Lair Legion living room, touching down gently before running through the doorway. Then she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Hatman, Liu Xi Xian, Pandemonica, Visionary, and Shen Rae. Also present were Faite, Magweed, and Griffin.
“What happened?†Lara asked. “Flapjack said you were--†She looked around and asked, “Where’s Vinnie?â€Â
Liu Xi hung her head, but didn’t reply, assuming someone else would explain.
Hatman spoke up first. “First thing I remember was, Liu Xi and I found Pandemonica, freezing and lying in the snow...â€Â
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“Leave me alone,†Pandemonica sobbed. “I deserve to die here.â€Â
“Don’t say that,†Liu Xi told her. “We’re going to rescue you.â€Â
Vinnie De Soth’s new wife looked up at her coldly. “You should hate me most of all.â€Â
“I should, but I don’t.†Liu Xi replied. “Not anymore.â€Â
She looked behind her, where Hatman was pulling three huge sleeping bags out of his hat-tility belt. She didn’t know he could store those, but she supposed that being Canadian, he was a consummate survivalist. He handed the rolled-up bags to Liu Xi.
“Look,†she continued, “I wanted to kill you, at first, but then I realized...if you can make Vinnie happy better than I can...I will be broken hearted for a while, but I have friends, and they will help me.â€Â
Pandemonica was distracted enough that she allowed Hatman to lift her from the snow, and carry her into the mouth of the lava cave that he and Liu Xi just left, and then carefully wrapped her in one sleeping bag. She didn’t resist, as she was too cold to fight back, and she was quietly mulling over what Liu Xi said.
“Uh-oh,†Hatman murmured.
“What’s wrong?†Liu Xi asked. She turned to where he was looking - there were two more figures coming in from the wind and snow.
“I only packed the three bags,†he said.
“Can’t you pull out more?â€Â
He shook his head. “It’s an amazing belt, but I can only get out what I put in.â€Â
The two others were Visionary and Shen Rae.
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“So we had Pandemonica in one bag, next to the fire Liu Xi set.†Hatman continued as Flapjack joined the group to see where Lara went, “And two more bags. It was getting dark, and colder, so Liu Xi and I shared one--â€Â
“Ooooh, tell us more about that.†Flapjack interrupted.
“Yeah, tell us more!†CrazySugarFreakBoy!, seeming to appear from nowhere, prodded.
“No, don’t tell.†Liu Xi shook her head and then winked at Hatman. “Let everyone just guess for a while.â€Â
Hatman shook his head, but true to what Liu Xi said, he kept silent. He knew his silence would just about kill CSFB!.
“Visionary and Shen Rae shared the third bag,†Liu Xi then continued the story.
“Nothing at all happened in that bag,†Visionary willingly volunteered. “Except that Shen Rae is an exceptionally warm person. I slept pretty well.â€Â
“He drools when he sleeps.†Shen Rae protested. “And his arms and legs wander.â€Â
“You know, a lot of men sleep more soundly after sex,†CSFB! pointed out. “No wandering arms or legs.â€Â
Lara leaned over to him and whispered something in his ear. CSFB! swayed a bit, and nearly fell over.
“Really?†he asked. “Shen, you have to meet April--†He stopped when Lara hit him with a couch pillow.
“What? What did I miss? Was that about me?†Visionary asked frantically.
Shen Rae turned to him and said plainly, “I think she told him that I’m into girls.â€Â
“You mean you...then why did you let me stammer and nearly have a stroke about sharing a sleeping bag with you?â€Â
Shen Rae smirked then, and laughed. “It was kind of funny, watching you do that.â€Â
Visionary glared at Liu Xi and Hatman then, both of which looked away when he did so.
“Oh great. So you all knew but me.†He sighed, and sat down.
Shen Rae stood behind him, and placed her hands on his shoulders. “He was very sweet about it, though. He apologized nonstop when he realized what he was doing while he was asleep. He never once tried hitting on me or suggesting anything. For such a cramped situation, he was great.â€Â
CSFB! harassed Hatman some more. “C’mon, you can’t keep a secret from me, what happened with you and Liu Xi in the sleeping bag?â€Â
“Nope. Sorry.†Hatman replied.
Liu Xi looked away and laughed.
“And what happened to Vinnie?†Lara asked.
That’s when a silence fell over the room.
Faite finally spoke up. “He is in a room in the Lair Legion, protected by wards. In order to save us, he had to consume the Demon. And in order to do that...he had to become a demon.â€Â
“What?†Pandemonica suddenly spoke up.
“He’s in that room, and he can’t see anyone but Anna. She is the only one he can’t devour, because she is not flesh. And he has to stay there until we can cure his ‘disease’.â€Â
“How do we do that?†Lara asked. At that point, she felt that everyone had been waiting for her to arrive to answer exactly that question.
Liu Xi spoke up again. “Remember how we were talking about that magic is energy?â€Â
TO BE CONTINUED...
Story written and copyrighted (C) 2012 by Jason Froikin, and may not be reprinted without permission. Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow. Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin. Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin
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...it's hard to know which of them is the biggest tease. Have to worry for Vinnie here; I don't sleep well after spicy food, but a demon is enough to trouble the most cast-iron of constitutions. Time for a dose of Holy Pepto-Bismol?
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