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It's early afternoon in Goth Haven. In Mid-Town, there stands a restaurant, Tic-Tac-Phở, which is known for it's food & it's decor. One won't find a better Phở or a collection of Clocks in the city.
Sitting at a booth near the middle of the restaurant is Jerry White. Today is the last day he'll be in city. He came to town to do a bit of business but still hasn't completed it. He'd stay longer but things back in California need attending to. Mostly because it's getting harder & harder to deal with his clients long distance.
Sitting across from him is Ham-Boy. The Meaty Might has a blank on his face. Jerry assumes it's in reaction to what he just asked him. Jerry wasn't exactly sure what the reaction would be but he didn't think it would have been this.
"Uh… Ham-Boy?" Jerry asked after a few uneasy minutes of silence.
He waved his hand in front of Ham-Boy's face. He was trying to get a reaction but he wasn't getting any. He snapped his fingers, clapped, told a dirty joke or two. Nothing.
Then he thought of how he might get a reaction. He slapped across the face. The reaction was delayed but he got one.
"Hey!" Ham-Boy said as he rubbed his cheek.
"Sorry. But I didn't know what else to try."
"ok." Ham-Boy said still rubbing his cheek.
There was a few more moments of silence. Then Jerry asked. "what do you think about my proposition?"
"your what?"
"what I asked you. Would you like to be my clients' in public boyfriend?"
"I'm not sure."
"Is it because you don't know who she is? Many Hollywood romances have started out this way." Jerry said with a smile on his face.
"ok."
"I can give you a quick run down on Keeley's career & that will help you decide?"
"I don't know." Ham-Boy said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Well.. where should I start." Jerry said as he thought for a moment. "I guess at the beginning." He said with a smile.
"Keeley Marie Montgomery was born on a hot summer's afternoon in 1987 in San Dimas, California. Her parents are Michael, an attorney at a local law firm & Lynne, a former actress/singer/dancer. Keeley is their first of three children.
Lynne is the one who got Keeley into the Business. I personally think it's because she never really achieved an large amount of success on her own so she wanted that for her child. No more then a few months into her life, Keeley was working. She co-starred on the seminal late 80's, Early 90's sitcom: Royal Flush. The basic premiss of the show was that San Diego area weatherman Robert "Bob" Donnar's wife was killed in a hit-and-run accident & is left to raise three kids. He recruits his sister in law & his college roommate to help him out. Keeley played the youngest daughter Kelsey. The show was set in San Diego but was shot mostly on a sound stage in Los Angles. Keeley's character originally wasn't named Kelsey but was changed to that since she wasn't responding to the original name." Jerry said as he laughed a bit to himself.
Ham-Boy vaguely remembers the show but growing up as he did on a farm in Iowa he didn't watch much television.
"Royal Flush ran for eight years, by the end of the run was one of the top TV shows in the country, won all sorts of awards & is still on the air in syndication all over the world. By the end of the show all the actors were stars including Keeley. To cash in on this her face was on a myriad of products & lead to a short singing career. One which I'm currently trying to help her revive." Jerry said.
Then Jerry leaned towards Ham-Boy & said more quietly said "It's not going so well."
He sat back & said. "But getting back to the Mid 1990's! Keeley is on a career high then came Robo-Dad." He shook his head is disgust.
"The god awful 1995 sitcom starring comedian Jim Milton. The basic premise was similar to the the old TV show Six Million Dollar Man is some ways. Robo-Dad was a bank security guard that became hurt & for some reason got a experimental surgery to fix his body. Keeley played his daughter Amanda. The series barely last it's one season before being cancelled.
After that was all dead & done, Keeley made her first movie in '96. It's was remake of the King Arthur story but done in the present day with an almost all child cast. The movie was Kid Arthur and Nights around an Oblong Table. Keeley got one of the more main roles of Gwen, the present day Guinevere. This might be her best movie she's been in which is kind of sad."
Ham-Boy hadn't heard of the TV show but the Movie sounded interesting.
"Shortly after Kid Arthur, she did her second movie Diddley S.W.A.T. which is a movie about a elite S.W.A.T. team that comes a small town in middle America & helps save the town from something. I don't remember what. Keeley played Sue, daughter of the Mayor. Around this time she released her third & some far last album. That Album was the last big thing she did for the next six years."
"Why? What happened?"
"not much." Jerry said with a shrug of his shoulders. "It was during this time that she hit puberty & that time isn't kind to most child actors. It's not that that she wasn't acting at this time. It was just that the things she was acting in where being seen. She was in a half dozen failed TV pilots, attached to act in movies that never got made, etc. The next film that did get made was her first as a teenager. It was 2003's Lifeguards. Which had the memorable tagline: Life's a Beach!" Jerry said as he chuckled to himself.
Ham-Boy thought about what he was doing in 2003. He had been Ham-Boy for over a decade & had been living in Goth Haven for a couple of years.
"Over the seven years since her last movie, Keeley had grown up &…" Jerry said & paused for a moment. He seemed to be searching for what word to use.
"Keeley had… matured a lot over the years. Lifeguards was the first movie to show this off. Her character, Pamela, was seen for most of the film in a tight fitting, curve hugging one piece swimsuit. Which sadly was the film that lead to her involvement with next film project: 4 films from the Knotty Bodies series."
Jerry could see that Ham-Boy had a puzzled look on his face.
"That's Knotty, with a K. K-N-O-T-T-Y. The whole series is pretty much soft core porn. Fetish films of women being tied up, doing acrobatic & other things with little to no clothes on."
"oh."
"Yeah. About the time she did Knotty Bodies X I became her manager. Which was a good thing since I talked her out of doing a porn version of Royal Flush. It still got made just without her in it."
"ok." Ham-Boy said. He wasn't aware that they made porn versions of TV shows.
"Instead I got her the lead in Maid in Hollywood III which yes was a direct to DVD sequel but was a whole better then what she was doing before. Next up for Keeley came her association with Arkham Films which has been producing re-imaginings of famous plays. Also of the films where made to be direct to DVD but a cab;e network needed something to fill their Saturday night line up so the Film premiered there before being released as DVDs'.
Keeley was in the first film of their Shakespeare set. Romero & Julie X was a zombie movie loosely based off of Romero & Juliet. Keeley played Julie X, a zombie who falls in love with the son of a famous zombie hunter. She went on to be Jessica in the Action flick Mercenary of Venice, Helen in the horror film Midsummer's Night Scream & Olivia in an another horror film Twelfth Fright. She was the main female lead in the romantic comedy Tony & Cleo. The last of her Arkham films was in the Sci-Fi epic H.E.N.R.I. 5 as Kathy.
Around the time she was filming Tony & Cleo I got her on a new reality show: Surviving Hollywood! The show follows a group of eight actors & actresses as they try to survive in Hollywood. Keeley has become on of the main stars of the show over it's three seasons."
"ok." Ham-Boy said. He'd never heard of the show.
"If you agree to be Keeley's public boyfriend you will be on the show also."
"What?"
"Yeah. You'd be worked into the show as part of Keeley's story arc. Probably not this season, maybe next season. I think they might be able to work you in late this season. Not exactly sure what they have planned."
"wait. Didn't say this was a reality show?"
"yes. But most of the reality shows on TV these days are partial scripted."
"ok." Ham-Boy said. He didn't know that.
"Also so you know a little about Keeley's personal life: She been arrested 3 times, married twice, dated almost everyone under the sun. Since the late late 90's she's been battling drug & alcohol abuse. Plus, she's recently had some work done."
"Work done on what?"
"Herself!" Jerry said somewhat shocked that Ham-Boy didn't know what he was talking about. "For the last few weeks she's been in a condo I rented recovering from the dozen or more surgeries she's had done."
"a dozen or more?"
"yeah. She's got to keep looking in good in this industry. She's getting old."
"How old is Keeley?"
"24." Jerry said bluntly. "But in Hollywood she might as well be 54."
"If you say so." Ham-Boy replied who himself is only 28.
"I think have a picture of her on my phone." Jerry said as he started to search for his phone. He found it, it was in one of his pants' pocket. He began to scroll through photos.
"Here is one of me & Keeley when we first started to work together." He said as he showed Ham-Boy the phone.
HB barely got a look before Jerry pulled it back & started to flip on to other photos.
"Here is what she looked like in December." Jerry said as he paused Ham-Boy the phone.
She didn't look that bad. Pretty, young & Ham-Boy couldn't see much wrong with her.
"If you flip to the next photo, you'll see what she looked like after the surgeries."
Ham-Boy did & had to close his eyes.
"Yeah. It's gotten a lot better."
"ok." Ham-Boy said as he handed back the phone.
"So… as I asked you earlier: Do you want to be her boyfriend?"
"uh…."
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TO BE CONTINUED!
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