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The JSX Gala.
The Jet Starscream Experience Museum.
Midtown Goth Haven.
Moments after Silas Hardigan started a fight with Jet Starscream.
Ham-Boy, who was standing near all this was in an almost state of shock. He looked around everything was in slow motion & the sounds were muffled. He wasn't sure what to do, he wasn't perspired for this. He didn't bring any of his gear with him save for his Ham-Cowl to present his identity. He didn't that a fight would break out at the party. But he thought that he should have. Almost every super hero party he's ever been to a fight has broken out. Either some super villain has crashed it or the attendees start fighting over something.
Ham-Boy turned his head & looked over a Janet Marrow, the super hero known as Inter-Planet Janet. She was looking over at him & saying something.
But the time she finished everything sped back up & the sounds wasn't muffled anyway. He say her press something on her dress & it began to change. It went from a evening dress into a costume. It was a something like he would have seen in an old Sci-Fi movie. Janet pulled out a ray gun from somewhere, jumped up onto the stage & ran it over to the back. She then disappeared through a hole left by Hardigan & Starscream.
Ham-Boy turned around & saw the chaos around him. Pretty much everyone was freaking out. He could hear screams, people crying, people yelling things. He still wasn't sure what to do.
But he should, He's a member of the Lair Legion! Then a thought popped into his head: WWVD? What would Visionary do?
Ham-Boy climbed up on the stage to get a better vantage point. Everyone was running around. Just then above him through a wall burst Hardigan & Starscream fighting. They were latched on to each other, yelling things at each other. They were quickly followed by Janet as she flew around them shooting her ray gun at Hardigan. As Ham-Boy saw this he wonders where she was keeping that jet pack?
The duo then crashed through the wall on the opposite side of the room & Janet quickly followed. Ham-Boy returned his attention to the screaming masses. He saw Agent Johnson & the other security agents trying to get guests to safety.
Ham-Boy noticed at the main exits that people were leaving & then a few moment later they were coming back in. Those people looked scarred. More scarred then those inside. Ham-Boy hops off the stage & runs to see why.
He maneuvers he way through the crowd & gets to the doors. He stopped a person & asks "What wrong?"
"There… There… There…" the person said in-between gasps for air.
"What?"
The person pauses catches their breath & then says "There is a monster out there."
"What type of monster?" Ham-Boy asked. He knows from his time with the Lair Legion Junior & the Lair Legion that there are a variety of Monsters. He also knows that there a great number of monsters that he just can't handle himself & he might need to call the Legion in. He puts his right hand in his coat pocket & feels the rectangular Commcard inside.
"It was huge!" the person said.
"How huge?"
"I don't know." the person said. Then not sure what else to say said the word Huge again.
"What did it look like?"
"Uh…" the person said & paused to think for a moment.
While they did that all sorts of people were passing by them in both directions. Most of the steaming something. Ham-Boy was able to pick up a few things: Huge, Hairy, Black, Red, Claws, Angry, Monster, Animal, Scary & a few other things no relating to the monster at large. Apparently a whole people just crapped their pants.
"Was it a large harry animal with claws?" He asked.
"Yes!" The person said excitedly. "It was a mutant."
"A mutant?" Ham-Boy asked with a hint to his voice that we might be a bit scared. He didn't do well around mutants.
"Yeah! It was 2 animals mish mashed together."
Then something click in Ham-Boy's mind of what it could be. He's had some experience fighting a large, angry, hairy hybrid creature that had claws that was both red & black in color.
Ham-Boy sighed & then asked "Is there a Loborilla out there?"
"A what?" the person asked.
"A Lobrilla, a creature that appears to be a Gorilla merged with a Lobster."
The person thought for a few moment & then said "Yeah. I guess that what it is. You fought them before?"
"Sadly yes."
Ham-Boy starts heading out the doors when the person asked "Where are you going?"
"To fight the Loborilla!"
Ham-Boy walked out the building as he heard the Hardigan/Starscream fight burst through another set of walls.
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Out in the street, there it was. All 7 feet tall of it. The Loborilla was picking up cars, trucks, people, whatever with his large lobster claws & throwing them around. In between that it was beating it's chest & growling.
It looked like all of the Goth Haven Meta-Crimes Unit was there. They had formed a semi-circle of vehicles around the beast. Ham-Boy made his way through the crowd & over to them. Everyone was wearing their riot gear & had their guns at the ready. Ham-Boy saw that the head of the MCU was there. Inspector Dennis "Denny" Turpentine was talking with the Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly. Kelly was wearing a tuxedo, Ham-Boy guess he was guest of the gala. Turpentine was wearing his normal lived in brown suit.
"Hi." Ham-Boy said as soon as he was in earshot of the two of them. They looked over at him.
"Can I help somehow?"
"Is the rest of the Legion with you?" Commissioner Kelly asked.
"No. It's just me, Ham-Boy."
"Well.. have you faced off against this.. uh…" Turpentine said & paused for what to call the creature. "…Goroster."
"Loborilla." Ham-Boy corrected him.
"What?" The Commissioner asked.
"I've fought a few of them & I've been told that they are called Loborillas."
"Now who told you that?" Turpentine asked harshly.
"Villains, sir. Every time I've fought one there is always someone controlling them. Most of time they taunting you with stupid remarks trying to make you focus on them & not the.. uh…" Ham-Boy said & paused for a moment. He was getting a bit nervous. He cleared his trout & said "Not the large monster thing that wants to kill you."
"We haven't seen an master controller maybe this is a rogue Loborilla?" The Commissioner said.
"Maybe. But I've never come across one."
"So, how do you take one down?" Turpentine asked.
"I don't know." Ham-Boy said with a shrug of the shoulders & a sheepish smile.
"WHAT?" the two of them yelled.
"Yeah. I've never actually taken one down. Just weakened it & the guy controlling it thinks fighting any further is pointless so they leave."
"Since we don't see that guy & we're screwed aren't we?" Turpentine asked.
"Maybe." Ham-Boy said with a shrug of the shoulders.
Then overhead Hardigan & Starscream crashed through an outer wall of the Museum. They flew across the street & crashed into the that building. Janet quickly followed.
"What was that?" Turpentine asked.
"Oh, Starscream is fighting some bald guy." Kelly said.
Again a thought pops into Ham-Boy's mind: WWVD?
"Uh.. I have a question."
"Yes?" Turpentine asked.
"What would you if this was an escaped animal from the Zoo?"
"Well, we'd corner it & then tranqu it. Once it went down we then transfer it back to the zoo."
"Do you have have that stuff?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"I think what the young man is getting at. This shouldn't be any different." The Commissioner said.
Turpentine thought for a moment & then pulls out his walkie talkie to make a call out to his forces "All right men, we have been given the go ahead the tranq the hell out of this things. Use the maximum dose ya have!"
Then the sound of guns loading & firing can be heard. This making an already angry 7 foot tall creatures even angrier. The bullet keep flying & the creatures starts to wobble. It goes to the left, hitting a building. It goes to the right, hitting another building. It starts to wobble towards were the Meta-Crimes Unit, Ham-Boy & everyone else is. People start to run. Ham-Boy is about to run when the Loborilla then wobbles backwards & falls to the ground.
People start to cheer! The members of the MCU start to make their way over to the downed beast, they all still have their guns out. Police Commissioner Kelly looks over at Ham-Boy gives him an approving nod & a wink.
Just then the Hardigan/Starscream fight hit the ground making a crater in the middle of the street. No one has come out of it.
Janet hovers down & stands next to Ham-Boy as they wait to see what happens next. There is smoke rising from the hole & then a hand is seen. Then an arm. Then a head. It's Jet Starscream!
His costume is pretty much destroy but he strikes a dramatic poses & gives the crowd a smile. The crowd goes wild & starts to cheer.
"He's such a ham." Janet said with a laugh.
The crowd starts to swarm Jet.
Janet with a smile on her face turns to Ham-Boy asks "So, how did you like the party?"
"It was fine. Kind of boring but fine." Ham-Boy said with a smile on his face.
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EPILOGUE #1
The Jet Starscream Experience Museum.
Later that night after all the guests & police have left.
Amid the wreckage, Ham-Boy is sitting on the edge of the stage while Jet & Janet stand next to him.
"I've got a question?"
"Sure. What is it?" Jet says.
"Were we the only Super Heroes at the party?"
Jet & Janet start laugh. Then he said "Maybe."
"We didn't invite a lot of super heroes." Janet said.
"Why not?"
"Most other Heroes are can't stand to be in my presents." Jet said quite full of himself.
Janet jabbed Jet in the side with her shoulder. "We don't know a lot of the other Heroes."
"Ok. Another question."
"yeah?" Jet said as he rubs when Janet had hit him.
"If Hardigan is like your arch nemesis why did you invite him? I would have thought I'd want my nemesis as for away from a party I was having."
Jet opened his mouth answer but closed it before saying anything & then thought about for a moment.
"It's complicated." Janet started. "We know that Jet & Silas pretty much hate each other but the world at large isn't quite up on that fact. They see Silas as being a high respected wealthy businessman."
"ok."
"If we didn't invite Silas they might consider that we were snubbing him & they might want to come either."
"Also, we might need to do business later on with them & if we did invite Silas they might not want to do business with us." Jet interjected.
"So, it's all about appearances?"
"Yeah!" Jet said.
"But won't people know that Hardigan is a super villain after all this?" Ham-Boy asked as he motioned to the destruction around him.
"No." Jet said with a straight face.
"Pretty much the whole fight happened while they were distracted by other things."
"Yeah & Hardigan wasn't arrested. He managed to slip away again."
"So, all the injuries he got from the fight he can blame on still blame on fight no one will think that he fought in it. A lot of people got hurt, some more then others."
"Plausible deniability is your friend." Janet said with a chuckle.
Jet also started laugh. So did Ham-Boy but wasn't really sure why.
Then Jet stopped because he was starting to really feel the pain from the fight.
"I think that's the que to call it a night." Janet said.
"Yeah." Jet said. There was a hint of pain in his voice.
"I should probably be getting back home." Ham-Boy said as he hopped off the stage.
"Well… Thanks for coming & handling that thing outside." Jet said & put out his hand.
"Sure. No problem." Ham-Boy said as he took Jet's hand & shook it.
"We should do this again sometime. Not the whole fight thing but this. The hanging out thing." Janet said.
"Yeah!" Jet said.
"I'd be up for it." Ham-Boy said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Ok. It's set. Hanging out with Ham-Boy at some future time." Jet said with a chuckle.
Janet put Jet's right arm over her shoulders. They wave goodbye to Ham-Boy, turned & walked away.
Ham-Boy let himself out.
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EPILOGUE #2
In an alleyway near by, Ham-Boy sure hoped that no one had stolen the Ham-Scooter (it's happened before). Parked by a dumpster, there it was in all it's cherry red glory. He pulled his key out of his pocket when he noticed something or someone move behind him.
Ham-Boy turned around quickly with key in hand & let out a yell. "HEE-YAH!"
This scared the man in front of him, he almost fell over. Ham-Boy looked him over, he didn't look like a mugger.
"Sorry about that."
"It's ok. I deserved that. I have been following you since you left the Museum."
"What do you want?" Ham-Boy asked suspiciously.
"I wanted to talk with you earlier but I couldn't get into the party & then there was all that stuff with the Lobster Monkey."
"It was a Lobster Gorilla. Well… a Loborilla. But why did you want to talk to me?"
"I'm Jerry White."
"ok."
"I'd like to meet with you to talk over a business deal with you. It's nothing shady. It's all on the up & up." Jerry said as he handed Ham-Boy a business card.
"ok." Ham-Boy as he told the card. That's the second time tonight people have given him cards because they want to talk to him about something. First the Mayor's Office & not this guy.
"That's all I have." Jerry said & then said "Have a nice night, Ham-Boy."
"Sure, you too."
Ham-Boy got on his scooter & drove off into the night. Hopefully nothing else comes up night. He just wants to go home & go to bed. It's been a busy day.
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THE END!
What does Jerry want? How will Ham-Boy meeting with the Mayor go? What will Jet, Janet & Ham-Boy do when they hang out? Where did that Loborilla come from? All these question & more will be answered in the future issues of The Ham-Tastic Adventures of Ham-Boy!
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