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Anime Jason 
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L!

Location: Seattle, Washington
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,038
Subj: Agent Johnson was right...
Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 at 10:13:26 am EST (Viewed 501 times)
Reply Subj: The Ham-Tastic Adventures of Ham-Boy #10a
Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 at 10:50:51 pm EST (Viewed 524 times)

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Mid-Town Goth Haven.

Ham-Boy has pulled his Ham-Scooter into a secluded alleyway. He's taking a break from patroling the city to have lunch. He takes off his helmet & hangs on one of the handles. He gets off the scooter & opens up the hidden compartment under the seat. He pulls out a small brown papper bag& then sits back on of the scooter.

As he's having his lunch, he hears a voice from behind him say "Good Afternoon, Mr. Harris."

Hearing this frightens him & making him almost drop his sandwhich partly to due to the fact that he didn't hear anyone come up behind & his Ham-Sense, his early warring system didn't go off. But also because because very few people know that Fred Harris & Ham-Boy are one & the same.

Fred turns his head to see a tall, well dressed man standing there. The man is wearing a dark suit & iover that a dark trench coat. His hair is cut very conservatively & there is a smile on his face.

"I'm sorry to scare you, Fred. That wasn't my intention." the man said with a chuckle.

"That's ok, Agent Johnson. I just wasn't expecting anyone to be here."

"I guessed that." Johnson said still with a smile on his face.

"What brings you to Goth Haven?"

"Oh, I'm working for one of the Governements' three letter agencies now. They were asked by a Jet Starscream to come in & provide some paranomral security for his big shindig. I got assigned this task due to my past experiance with the meta-human element."

"Meta-Human?" HB said somewhat puzzled.

"Yeah. That's one of the terms us governement types have for you guys. They don't like to be seen taking sides using terms like 'Super Hero' or 'Super Villian', so we get terms like that." Johnson said & as he used the off limits terms he made air quotes with his fingers.

"So, you head of security for the Jet's big party?"

"One of the heads. I'm head of the government team & there is few more. The Museum has it's own security. I think has his own personal guys & a number of the guests will have their own guys also."

"I got invited to the party."

"Well, good for you. It's a long way since our days in Iowa."

"yeah." Ham-Boy said somewhat half-heartedly.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure I'll go."

"Why not? From what I've seen it's bound to be a really doozy of a time."

"I bet it will be but I'm not sure why I got invited. I don't really even known Starascream."

"If that was a prerequestite to going, most of the guest list wouldn't be going." Johnson said trying to cheer the Meaty Might up.

There was a few moments pause & then Johnson asked. "You ever meet him?"

"Jet?"

"Yes."

"Once. But it wasn't that mush of a deal. I didn't think I made that much of an impression on him."

"But you did as you've done with many a person over the years. I remember when I first meet you, the gawky gung ho kid for south eastern Iowa & how out of everyone I meet that day you made an impression."

"People tend to remeber the guy who can make hot dogs appear out of nowhere."

"True. But it was more then that. I bet if I asked your friends over at the Lair Legion they'd say the same thing."

"Maybe. I don't know." Ham-Boy said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I'd say go, have a fun time. I can almost guarantee it will be a life changing event." Johnson said with a smile.

Ham-Boy smiled back & said. "Ok. I'll go."

"Good. I'll need someone to talk to while I'm there." Johnson said jokingly.

They both laughed a bit.

Johnson noticed HB's sandwhich. "So, what are you having?"

"Egg salad."

"What? Not Ham?" Johnson said with a sly smile on his face.

"No. I like to change it up a bit every now & then." HB said in reply also with a sly smile on his face.

"That's good. Well, I should be off." Johnson said as he turned to walk away.

"See you at the Gala." HB called out to him.

"Will do." Johnson called back.

---------------


Elsewhere in Goth Haven, down in the waterfront in one of the various warehouses there is a meeting of the Disgruntles.

"All right team. As you know we haven't been doing a whole lot lately." Robert Crunch, the team leader & is also known as The Evil Captain Crunch, said to his fellow teammates.

"I have out next Job!" Crunch said as he took a sheet off the board behind him. On the board was the blueprints for the Jet Starscream Experience museum. Also on the board was various pictures ouf the buldings interior & exterior.

"When are we doing the job?" one asked.

"When else? During the Starscream annual gala." Crunch said with a smile on his face.

---------------


Meanwhile out in ther Hollywood Hills, in a condo, in a bedroom there is a man packing. He is messily shoving clothes & other thing into a duffle bag.

A bleach blonde woman, who clearly has clearly recently had some work done, is standing in the doorway. She isn't wearing anything in the way of close save for a white terry cloth bathrobe. The Robe is undone. She is showing all her private areas along with some streach marks & a few scars. In her right hand is a almost empy bottle of champagne.

"Jerry?" She asks. No response.

He is muttered to himself about something under his breath. He is also francticly moving around the room, taking items from the room & shoving them into the bag.

"Jerry." She asks once more. This time a bit louder & again he doesn't respond.

"JERRY!" She yells. This time he response.

"What is it Keeley?" He says some wahat frazzled.

"Where ya going?" She asks somewhat suductively. She then takes a drink from the bottle.

"Well..." He says but paused since she burps rsther loudly.

"sorry." Sge says emabarassed. Jerry thought that she was blushing but couldn't tell her face was still quite swollen from the surgeries she recently had.

"As I was about to say I'm going to the east coast."

"Can I come?" She asked egerly.

"No."

Keeley frowned & asked. "Why not?"

"Your doctors say & I agree with them that you still need time to recoup from the surgeries you've had."

"You didn't listen to them before."

"Well, I didn't we had to time to space the surgeries over a few months. The recoup times is already longer then I had originally planned but we have new episodes of the show coming out so your still on the mind of the public."

"But I don't like it here. " Keeley said still with a frown on her face. "It's boring."

"I'm aorry. We can't have you going out in the public like you are now, All puffy & swollen."

"Am not." Keeley said defensively.

"Have you seen your self lately?" Jerry asked.

There was a minor pause & then Keeley replied. "All right. Maybe a little puffy."

"Plus, I'm going to thr East Coast on your behalf."

"Really?"

"Yes. You remember the plan I told you abut?"

"Uhhhhh...." Keeley said as her eyes rolled back in head & tried to remember what Jerry has said.

"Well, I don't have time for you to remember. Me going to East Coast is the first step in getting the public to seeing a new you."

"I thought this was the first step." Keeley said as she pointed to her now cosmetically enchnaced body.

"Ok. That's was step one. This step two."

Jerry saw that she remember what he said now. "Your going to get me my new boyfriend!"

"At least starting to get your new boyfriend."

"Cool."

"Yes. I need to get gone out to the East Coast so I can be at the JSX Gala & hope to in touch with Ham-Boy or someone in connact with him."

"So, Get gone!" Keeley said with a laugh as she slapped Jerry on the butt with her left hand.

---------------


TO BE CONTINUED.......


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FOOTNOTES:


- Why is this 10a & not just 10? Well, I had Issue 10 on my computer before it crashed. When I came back from being repaired & I had my files reloaded back on the computer from an external hard drive not everything was saved to that hard drive. That included Issue 10 so this is the rewrite this tory which makes it 10a. The original Issue 10 was slightly different version of the meeting between Ham-Boy & Agent Johnson. The important info is there just a bit different than I originally has written it. Plus, I added in 2 more scenes to the story.

- Agent Johnson: Ham-Boy's activties in Iowa before he came to Goth Haven have not be widely written about. One of the things Ham-Boy did do was going up with a team of super heroes that were based out of Iowa. Agent Johnson was the head of that team or at least that team's governemnt liason. As hinted to here, He now works for the Office of Paranormal Security.

- Ham-Boy & Jet Starscream: So far the only meeting of these two heroes was in the story entitled "Hometown Heroes". There will soon be a second meeting.

- The Disgruntles: one of the various villianous organizations who oppose Ham-Boy. The membership is as follows:
- Robert Crunch, a.k.a. The Evil Captain Crunch, has no known powers but claims to be the evil brother of the breakfest cereal icon & team leader.
- Doctor Peter Cox D.D.S., a.k.a. Dr. Peacock, is a Dentist with the tailfeathers of a peacock & the deputy leader of the team.
- Amantha "Amy" Leonard, a.k.a. Kitty Boom Boom, is Dr. Cox's receptionist & the weilder of the Atomic Exploding Cats which she flings at people using her Catapult.
- Ivana Poliduski, a.k.a Auntie Freeze, is an eldery Polish woman with Ice based powers.
- Grammar is a free form poem given life during a science experiment gone wrong.

- Keeley & Jerry: This marks their second appearance. They were unnamed in their first apperance which took place in Ham-Boy #8. More on them later.

...people do remember someone who can make hot dogs appear from nowhere. Apparently that's why ham-boy gets so much unwanted attention too.

I wonder if he'll meet another Agent Johnson later on who's no relation to this one?