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I must have been having a particularly bad day when I wrote this (in 2007!) Who knows what was planned next:
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Fucking hell I hate my life.
What the fuck do I have to show for it? Oh sure, the pay is good, and I get to travel to exotic locations…but aside from that…nothing.
I’m a poor sad lonely individual…actually I’m not even an individual since I just follow the crowd.
I’ve either pissed off all my friends so they are now my enemies, or.,
I live through online personas interacting with fuckwits I despise and deplore who I’d never associate with in real life.
Fuck, I can’t even write this shit it’s so pathetic. God, I need a change. I need a real change in life. Somewhere new, a new beginning where no one knows my name.
Fuck now I have that song in my head. I hate that fucking song.
A new life…I don’t care really what it is…but maybe Parodiopolis might be nice. Yeah, Parodopolis. Fuck you employers…Fuck you fuckwits. Look out Parodiopolis – angry young man is coming to hit you where it hurts and take no hostages.
Heh, that’ll fuck em!
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Last one. This one may have actually been posted. I think it was (or was intended to be) part of the Al B./Killer Shrike tag-team cross-over story that we did. If it was posted I can't find it in the archives (but none of my links for that story are working either so I can't be 100% sure and I don't seem to have saved any of it to the hard drive sadly). Anyway, it was fun to read it again just now even if it had been posted. I remember for a fact the villain's name came up in a chat in the chat room!
On relfection I hope this was actually my work and not someone elses?:
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Amy Aston, now dressed in her customary overalls again, clutched her spanner to her chest as she opened the main roller-door to the Six-ways Firehouse that served as the HQ for Extraordinary Endeavour Enterprises.
“Alright you monkeys! I know you’re out there. You may as well show yourselves. I have a spanner and I’m not afraid to use it,†she shouted into the blackness of the night before her, waving the spanner around for good measure.
Gibbering and screeching, the group of cyber-monkey-pirate-ninjas that were hiding in the street outside the firehouse blended out of the shadows, waved their cutlasses high in the air, then tapped them against their cyber-tails, in an eerie metallic resonance that raised goose-flesh on the nape of Amy’s neck.
She looked a little unsteady as they swarmed into the light to surround her, their grimacing faces revealing aluminium incisors glistening with rank saliva. Not too close, but close enough to invade her personal space, they jumped up and down and the shrieking reached a high crescendo. Amy could feel the warmth of their breaths on her skin, smell the foul stench – these monkeys obviously ate more than bananas by the smell of it, and didn’t floss either.
“Do you like my pretty pretties?†A smarmy voice asked, the gibbering stopped immediately, and the monkeys were still. Amy looked out from the throng that almost engulfed her, and saw the smarmy voice belonged to an unkempt looking man with mangy black hair, crooked teeth, tattered clothing and a pallid yellow complexion. His skin was also rather blotchy in spots. Not someone you’d want to shake hands with. “There’s more where they came from I assure you.â€Â
“No,†she replied, “I don’t like your pretties, in fact, I find them down right ugly!†she regarded the man, “and you’re even creepier than Michael Jackson, so I’ll only say this once, Al B. and the others are expected back at any moment,†she lied, “so you’d better call these little devils off, and state your purpose here.â€Â
“Oh must I indeed Miss Aston?†the creepy man asked “Yes, I know who you are, and that you are alone here. For that is why I have come. With such rewarding bounties out for the EEE!, your solitude made you such an easy target that I, Triskelion, could not resist being the first to capture one of you.â€Â
“You know, you’re just living up to the CrazySugarFreak’s ‘stereotypical lame super-villain’ type by telling me all that,†Amy smirked, “and for thinking I’m alone here.†She suddenly dropped to the floor, as Fleabot rapidly expanded his size as he jumped off his hiding place on her shoulder and took out all the shocked cyber-monkey-pirate-ninjas with ease (they weren’t trained to deal with rapidly growing fleas).
Triskelion himself was also taken aback by Fleabot’s sudden appearance, and before he could compose himself, Amy had whacked him over the head with her spanner, knocking him out cold.
“OK, let’s get these goons into storage,†Fleabot suggested, “and make our way to Mangatown quick smart.â€Â
“Shouldn’t we warn Al B.?†Amy asked.
“What, and ruin his big date with Miss Framlicker? Nah, far better to deal with this ourselves.â€Â
Amy knew she would probably regret it, but went along with Fleabot anyway…
To be continued…
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