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Musings on Being Lost in a Forest
Originally posted on Tales of the Parodyverse by Manga Shoggoth.
Parodyverse characters copyright (c) 2009 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works.
He was soaked, tired, filthy and confused. He didn't know where he was or what he was doing.
"He", of course, was Visionary. Kerry would probably have commented that "confused", "not knowing where he was" and "indeed not knowing what he was doing" was pretty much his ground state. Kerry, however, did not appear to be around to comment. He wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not.
He appeared to be in some sort of forest. Well, lots of trees, lack of paths, excessive wildlife, deep shadows, no crullers. He wasn't sure which forest he was in (or, indeed, how he got there), since the signage was rather lacking, but he felt that he could eliminate Faerie as a possibility. The trees here were huge, solid and very, very real.
He started making his way amongst the tree roots, not sure where he was going but fairly sure that anywhere was better than here.
He heard the snap of a twig behind him, and started to turn. What prevented him from turning was the sudden appearance or two female arms from behind, followed immediately by something soft and heavy pushing against his back and the world going black.
"Hello, Adam..." husked a voice in his ear. "I have a wonderful idea for a game..."
"Um..." he ventured. The voice sounded like Sayaana, but the size was more like Deeela. However Deeela always called him "Master", not "Adam". Who the hell was "Adam" anyway?
"Put him down, Clio." came a slightly more authorative voice. "This is a group effort, in case you've forgotten.". A pair of hands was removed from his eyes. He noted in passing that the hands were not green, which eliminated Sayaana as a possibility.
Half-sitting, half-leaning against the roots of a particularly mighty tree was a young lady with a particular resemblance to Deeela, albeit not as green. In fact she was positively in the pink, or at least, a well-tanned olive. There were seven other girls draped round the tree, dressed in what looked like rather fetching togas. They looked rather like some ex-slave-girls of his acquaintance, except – of course – they were not green, wore more clothes and were not on Caph. He was certain he was not on Caph. He didn't think he would have missed that journey.
"Like you're one to talk. It's the first time I've seen you out of that Vamp outfit in ages.". This speaker sounded (and looked) rather like Losiira, except that Losiira seldom held a mask with a grotesque smile in front of her face when speaking.
"It's a vampire outfit!" yelled the girl who resembled Deeela. "Scott writes vampire stories! I'm trying to put him at his ease!". Losiira lowered her grinning mask to reveal an even wide smirk.
"Oh woe, that my sisters are arguing again..." declaimed Kaara, holding a grotesque mask to her face (this one with a crying expression) . She was immediately silenced by the other girls yelling "Shut up Melpomene!". Karra subsided with a hurt expression.
"Now," said Odoola, "the music needs to sound like this... 'Terpe?". The two girls started playing a flute and lyre duet that in turns sounded haunting and racy. Over this, Miiri, Kaara and Deeela recited a story that was a gripping mix of tragedy, romance and courage against all odds. In the mean time, Noona and Luuma appeared to be deep in conversation, Noona frowning at a globe, while Luuma prodded it with a staff.
At length, Luuma interrupted the recital. "Sorry, girls. We've come to the wrong place again."
Odoola and Philaana stopped playing. A couple of seconds later the music stopped as well. Eight girls looked at Luuma, at Visionary, and then at Luuma again. "Woe!" started Kaara, immediately shutting up when her sisters glared at her.
"I thought this was odd for one of Adam's dreams." commented Kaara. "Oh well. Where next?"
Deeela studied what appeared to be a small, hinged box. "The Parodyverse." she declared. "We have to give someone called Visionary a burst of inspiration that will eventually lead to the defeat of the Carnefax." The girls started to drift into the shadows between the trees.
"You think you can get us there this time?" jibed Losiira.
"Nothing wrong wrong with my celestial navigation skills." retorted Luuma. "It's not my fault they keep moving the constellations..."
The figures and voices faded into the shadows.
"Um..." ventured Visionary again. The forest fell silent.
Again, He heard the snap of a twig behind him. This time a pair if green arms snaked round him, and the world went black once more.
"Right," whispered Miiri in his ear. "Now they've gone, lets get this dream on the road."
For those who have forgotten who the muses tend to end up as:
- Sayaana: Clio (history), scroll and books
- Miiri: Erato (lyrics/love poetry), crown of roses
- Deeela: Calliope (epic poetry), writing tablet
- Kaara: Melpomene (tragedy), tragic mask
- Philaana: Euterpe (music/lyric poetry), flute
- Noona: Polyhymnia (sacred poetry and geometry), a pensive expression
- Odoola: Terpsichore (dancing), carrying a lyre
- Losiira: Thalia (comedy), comic mask
- Luuma: Urania (astronomy and astrology), staff pointed at a celestial globe
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This one was a lot of goofy fun... but then, it's hard for me not to find a story fun when it features a cast like that. Plus, the puns were mostly under control, so that was an added bonus!
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