Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
Post By
Al B. Harper
In Reply To
killer shrike

Subj: KA POW! Bring on the next part!
Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 at 03:22:33 am EDT
Reply Subj: Kambyon the Kruel #6 “Endgames”
Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 at 12:04:59 am EDT (Viewed 9 times)



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    Kambyon the Kruel #6 “Endgames”



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    Previous stories are here.



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    Rumor travels fast across the cosmos when the subject is a returning god. Bits of information cascading from one point to another, spreading word that Kambyon, the Beast of Apocalyspe, was loosed upon the universe once more. For IAGOS, who was information, it was simple enough to piece these scraps together and discern the Newer God’s objective. And simpler still to dispatch himself to where such knowledge would do him the most good.



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    *****



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    The man in the black Henley shirt and jeans floated outside the Lair Legion’s window and smiled, “Sorry I’m late, Hallie. There was a mudslide in the Philippines that needed my attention.”



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    “It’s all right Mark,” the living hologram told the Carnifex, “you’re here now.”



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    “And you are completely busted,” Griffin turned and told Kambyon.



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    The giant was unconvinced, “Is this finally one of the Legion?”



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    “Nope,” the Parodyverse’s greatest hero came through the window and set down, “Just a guy who has a vested interest in them,” the Carnifex stroked Iris’s head proprietarily, “and someone who has no use for overmuscled hairballs like you.”



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    “How unfortunate,” Kambyon sneered as reached out to take hold of the interloper’s neck. The Carnifex ducked under the lunge and connected with an uppercut. There was a splash of gore and teeth as the lower half of Kambyon’s face exploded from the impact. The brute toppled and fell.



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    “Ack!” Hallie gasped.



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    “Wow!” Griffin enthused.



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    The Carnifex merely smiled and pantomimed wiping his hands clean, “Anything else I can help you-oooof!!!”



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    One of Kambyon’s hooves slammed into Mark’s midsection, doubling him over. The Apokalyspian rose and grabbed the Carnifex by the waist. Hoisting him high in the air, Kambyon powerbombed his foe through mansion floor and the layers of reinforced steel and granite beneath.



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    The monster took hold of his jaw and twisted back into something resembling its normal shape. Then he dropped down after his enemy.



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    He came down in the Legion’s submarine pen not far from where the Carnifex had landed far more forcefully. The man was not to be found in the crater he had left.



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    “Come out and die, coward! I know you’re here! This place stinks of piss and mother’s milk!” Kambyon’s challenged echoed off the cavern’s walls.



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    “That’s you,” a voice behind Kambyon observed.



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    The giant turned and clamped his hand down on the Carnifex’s wrist, saving himself from a disembowelment from the hunting knife just inches from his gut.



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    “Huh. You’re faster than you look,” Mark used his free hand to try and pry off the monster’s grip.



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    Kambyon took hold off that limb as well, “And, nrgh, you are stronger than you appear.”



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    “Thanks. So, what next? We slow dance?”



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    “Next I force feed you this blade. Crosswise.”



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    Mark Carnifex laughed, but his face grew solemn when the giant managed to twist the knife’s point away from his stomach. Kambyon used his size and leverage to raise both of his arms up over his head.



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    With a brutal snap, Kambyon drove the Carnifex backwards across his bended knee. There was the sound of crunching bone. Mark’s limbs spasmed, causing him to drop his knife. Then he was still.



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    Kambyon gave a disappointed grunt and tossed his downed enemy over his shoulder, across the length of the cavern and into the far wall. The Carnifex’s body slid down into the water.



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    “This planet,” Kambyon roared, “Is populated by a useless stock of feeble simpletons! Splitting their world asunder would be a mercy killing!! And I am fast approaching the point where I am willing to go against my nature and be merciful! Now, where is- what?!”



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    The pool churned and roiled as the massive bulk of the Lair Legion Submarine broke its surface. Obscured from view was the source of its ascent, but the Carnifex made his presence known when he flexed his shoulder muscles and hurled the twenty kiloton craft into Kambyon, with enough velocity to break the sound barrier. The sub slammed into the giant and knocked him into the far wall, sending a cascade of shrapnel throughout the complex.



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    That wasn’t the worst of it though.



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    Next: The worst of it



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    *****