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Anime Jason 
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Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004
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In Reply To
CrazySugarFreakBoy!

Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,235
Subj: Re: Both Jay and the police are taking a little bit too much on faith, I think.
Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 at 11:53:25 am EDT (Viewed 422 times)
Reply Subj: Both Jay and the police are taking a little bit too much on faith, I think.
Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 at 05:25:28 am EDT (Viewed 523 times)



    Quote:
    Perhaps you do indeed plan to show that it's not nearly so easy for Beth to just wave her hands and get away with whatever she wants, but if not, then it's a massive show of disrespect for both the civilian populace and the heroes, because if it's that simple for the villain to win, then it makes both the public and the heroes seem dumb and weak.


There are a couple of small holes you missed that still need to be exploited: Nobody knows why Marv dissolved yet, and nobody knows for sure where City Council went on vacation. They're coming up for resolution soon.



    Quote:
    Also ... having other characters describe one of your characters as "too smart"


That was Jack's personal opinion, as in she's too smart for his tastes. That's one of his flaws, I suppose, that he can't be attracted to women who are too smart, because he hates being wrong all the time. Most people (especially at the police department) think she's an immature idiot because of how she talks.

And don't forget the law of hubris in this one. You know, like when someone says "nothing could possibly go wrong".



    Quote:
    That being said, the cause of the "murder" was an inventive twist, and I liked seeing Jack and Vicky interact with the Lair Legion.


I tried to think up something that nobody else would figure out, but that clues were there all along. Marv died in his bedroom, and at least two of the people interviewed indicated that he was probably killed by his own flaws.