Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
Post By
HH
In Reply To
Dancer thinks maybe she might like you if you did more chapters tho :-P

Subj: You only want me for my chapters.
Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 at 03:43:09 pm EDT
Reply Subj: See this is why nobody likes you, you meanie!
Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 at 12:31:12 pm EDT


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Saving the Future – Part 20: Good Intentions
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> > Previously: The Lair Legion, their island headquarters, and the SPUD helicarrier have been missing for four weeks, and the criminal fraternity of the world is enjoying a world without heroes. Baroness von Zemo has arranged for the villainous Purveyors of Peril to masquerade as a new Lair Legion. Kerry Shepherdson, Fashion Accessory (Samantha Bonnington), Ham-Boy, and Harlagaz have recruited exorcist Vinnie De Soth and boy genius Salieri Meng to try and locate the missing heroes. But Danny Lyle, Kerry’s boyfriend and the Hooded Hood’s son, has restored his father’s Portal of Pretentiousness and claimed Herringcarp Asylum; and such things always have a price.
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> > Previous Chapters
> > The Hooded Hood's Homepage of Doom
> > Who's Who in the Parodyverse
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***

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> >     The glass of the mirror was so old that in certain light it appeared to be black. The rim around it was of chased silver and some unidentifiable ancient wood. The whole Portal of Pretentiousness was almost ten feet across and seven feet high.
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> >     Danny Lyle sat before the black glass and stared into its depths. He seemed far away.
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well?” demanded Kerry Shepherdson. “What’s wrong with him?”
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> >     Vincent de Soth, exorcist for hire, shook his head sadly. “Nothing simple,” he replied. “That Portal is an elder artefact, created by the powers of the Parodyverse as part of a trap for the Dread Dormaggadon. The same plot carved apart the Mythlands and reshaped the whole of time and space. When Danny used his powers to draw the portal back into existence who knows what he stirred up? These things always have some kind of cost.”
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So fix him,” Kerry demanded of the rumpled-looking young man with the untidy hair. “Exorcise him or de-curse him or something.” For a moment the dark-haired young Irish lass looked pale and haunted. “He’s slipping away from me, Vinnie. I don’t know how or why or what to do about it.”
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Danny loves you,” Vinnie assured her. “He first mastered the Portal for you and he remade it for you.”
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“That just makes it worse. I’m to blame for this. For him… being consumed.”
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s not you. You never asked to be kidnapped by the Parody Master. You didn’t cause all the heroes of the Parodyverse to vanish. Um, did you?”
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> >     Kerry snorted. “Before I got my allowance off Dweebionary? Okay, so the guilt thing isn’t going to help. What will?”
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> >     Vinnie ran his hand through his tousled hair in bafflement. “I guess… maybe I could try and find out some more about the Portal of Pretentiousness. Maybe that will help me understand what Danny’s staring at all the time.”
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> >     Kerry nodded. “Good plan. How?”
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> >     Vinnie looked uncomfortable. “There’s somebody I can talk to.”
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Fine you do that. I’ll work on the other part of the plan.”
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“There’s another part?”
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> >     Kerry bundled the young occultist to the door and shut it after him before turning back to Danny and pulling her t-shirt off.
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***

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> >     Roni y Avis was feeling nervous these days. He’d pulled a lot of deals and his type of scam usually worked. When it didn’t he ended up arrested by superheroes. Except these days the superheroes weren’t doing arrests. Roni was sweating as he remembered the times he’d annoyed Baroness von Zemo.
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> >     That’s why Roni wasn’t in his office. He was hiding out in a roach motel near Fresno. And still there was a knock on his door.
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> >     Roni didn’t answer. He fumbled in his bedside drawer for a handgun.
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> >     The blast of flame blew his door off its hinges and sent blazing fragments across room. Before the inventor of internet spam could react the weapon was snatched from his one good hand (Baron Zemo had severed the other one years ago) and he was pinned to the wall.
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“This isn’t any way to treat a client, Roni,” Wyrmfood scolded.
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Ah. No. Sorry. I see that now. My mistake,” said Avis, trying to sound casual. “Error of judgement. I was expecting someone else. Not… um…” he didn’t recognise his attacker.
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m Tina Drummond,” the disfigured humanoid dragon supplied. “We met before when I looked different to this. Back when I was Wyrm Bait of the New Battlers. Cute delinquent hottie with dragon DNA implants? Fire breath, draconic charm, winged flight, near invulnerability? Ring any bells?”
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Ah, yes. Tina. Of course I remember you. You’re, er, looking good.”
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m looking like someone psionically peeled my epidermis off, Avis. Because that’s what Fashion Accessory did to me. Left me for dead. I only survived because someone thought I’d be fun to experiment on and mutate more.”
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> >     Roni Y Avis felt something trickle down his chin. It was blood. For a moment he thought the dragoinoid has torn his throat out. Then he realised that Wyrmfood was still seeping.
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I can see you have a few scores to settle there, then.” Roni admitted.
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh yes. I’ve been promised that Samantha Bonnington will suffer far worse than this, and for all eternity. I’ve seen the game plan. It’s truly horrible. And there’s not much better in store for her friends.”
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Right, well, good luck with that,” Roni babbled. “Lovely to bump into you, but I was just getting ready to check out. Important deals on the Left Coast, you know.”
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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m working to a master plan, Roni,” Wyrmfood explained to the hapless entrepreneur. “And you are going to help me.”
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***

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> >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hel