Previous Post First of all, I want to thank Ian. He’s absolutely right. When I remove a character from the PV, it’s only because I don’t want to run into trouble with any future editors, publishers or agents. I honestly don’t ever believe Ian, Adam, Kirk, Jay or anyone else on the board would ever come to me and say I stole from them. I’d like to think my friends here would be glad IF I ever became successful enough to write professionally. Will I ever get there? No clue. Guys, I’m just another comic fan who cheers and jeers at movies and TV, I gush or complain at comics, dream of how I’d like to handle things and count the days till something I look forward to arrives. I still go to work as a drafter and I may very well do that until companies no longer hire me because there are far better, younger drafters out there. I struggle to figure our bills, watch my kids get older every day and each year hope for the summer when I can see my parents again. I have no fricken clue if Annabelle will make it. I’m not full of myself and I don’t set out to take away your reading pleasure. I should’ve said something about Justin. I should’ve finished Crisis proper. I should’ve written that final Trickshot story, or closed up my characters. I should’ve stayed around and watched the newbies to the PV grow as writers. I should’ve laughed and shared with my friends in the last three years of stories. Do I want to see if Jay finally gets happiness? Yes! Do I want to see how things turned out with Vish and Hallie? Yes! Do I want to see if the Hood ever came back, what the deal was with that ancient version of Vish, how the Juniors came back, what new twists have happened in Dream’s or Yuki or Dominic’s lives? YES! Do I want to laugh with Chad and Ronnie? YES! But I cant. It hurts me to, guys. I miss you so much I want to cry and scream but I still cant. Why? Because I’m STILL working on the same story I started in 04 and finished in ’06. I wrote another but as Chris will attest, it’s crap. It needs more work. I cant, though, because I’ve got to remove all the “stiffness”, “unnatural” and “stilted” narration and dialogue. Guys, how would you feel if you were STILL working on the same PV story from ’06? Would you reread and reread and reread it? Change it again and again, dropping big parts and adding new ones? I used to just write something, spell check it and post it then move on. In my PV heyday I could post up to five stories a week. Of course it cost me my job, but still! Now I’m on edit 7 or 8 or whatever the hell it is and I KNOW it’s still not ready. I’m tired of this novel! I HATE this novel! I love this novel. Remember the passion I posted about in October of ’04? Remember the deep pull I felt, as if from an outside source, to get this character and her world into libraries and schools and book stores? It’s still there, as strong as ever. Guys, I have to do this. Yes, you’re probably right. I’ve thrown away my PV life, kept you from some ok, so-so stories written by me. And when I’m 60 or 80 it’ll all be in vain. I could’ve imitated more DC and Marvel stories or created all sorts of my own stuff. But what if these feelings are right? What if those couple agents, who wanted it EXCEPT for the stiffness, what if there was a reason they wanted it? What if those 6th graders were right about it? I feel like I can almost touch the sky. Just a little bit farther and unlike Indy in his 3rd movie, I don’t have to let it go. I’m sorry I’m rambling. Ian has a right to hold back the story till it fits better. I have a right to pull away Justin. Why? Well, if Annabelle’s first book actually defies the natural order for me and is a success, I’ll need Justin. Ian, Chris, Jay and Adam read a very early, bad version of it and even back then there are hints to how Justin, a Sci Fi concept, would matter to a YA fantasy series. He’s got to stay with the overall story and to “suck it up and move on” means to “give up my story possibilities and goals”. It means either… A) Go a different way with the story so that 5-8 people can enjoy the character for just about 1 month or B) Give up my foolish dreams, tell everyone from family, friends and coworkers that it was stupid. I’m sorry. I need to calm down. I’m sorry I upset some. I’m sorry I moved away from the PV. Why do you think I asked if I could still visit and put up Caption the Pic? I know some here think I’m foolish, stupid, unfair, selfish and stuck up? The chances that all this never-ending work will actually equal a successfully published series is way out there but despite this I’ve got to treat my characters (the ones that matter to me in the novel sort of way) like it will be successful. Who matters? Who will wind up in novels and short stories by me? Annabelle, Roland and the characters in their stories. Justin Tyme and his evil girlfriend. Desert Rose and her weapon. That’s it. I appreciate Ian asking about Ku Ku. I wish I had the time to dedicate myself to the PV. I’d love to see how he wrapped that up. Amazing Guy and his family are actually my family. It would be weird for you guys to write them while I’m not here. Just make a new Protector of the Universe. I might use the name “Carl Bastion” but what’s in a name? You guys can still use Trickshot /Carl Bastion. Same is true for the Rabbits and Kid Produce, or the Pigeons or the future Legion. I’ll never use them. All I ask is that you email and ask. Guess I’ve said enough. If you still hate me, oh well. I miss you all and I’ll still peek in and continue Captions (unless you all don’t want me to).

Follow your goals and screw everyone else. We're not important.

Hell, I haven't written anything for here in years, either. So don't feel bad. Quite a few of us are trying to follow our chosen paths with various projects away from the PV.