Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
Post By
HH

In Reply To
Nats

Member Since: Thu Jan 01, 2004
Posts: 85
Subj: Ugly Americans
Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 at 09:27:33 am EDT (Viewed 3 times)
Reply Subj: QORN: Ooo, this takes me back.
Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 at 12:44:00 am EDT (Viewed 402 times)

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Had an idea to split the Lair Legion into American and European factions wayyy back in the day. Why? Well, Giffen and DeMatteis' Justice League International was awesome; might as well see what we could do with the concept. No one listened to me. So it goes. Ha.

I remember that Lisa, Nats, and maybe Vizh and Yo were on the team, but I don't appear to have written it down (or saved it if I did), and my memory's going in my young age, so I don't remember the old plans. It was going to be my second major arc in Lair Legion Chronicles from #27-40 or something. I don't think I finished #13 of that series. You see how I plan ahead. Ha again. (But let me tell you about it someday. Grand, ambitious arcs. Dark Thugos vs. the world. The New Anti-Legion. LLA/LLE/LLI. Dark Sorceress. A Hooded Hood story not written by the man himself! Madness.)

Anyway, it's a new world these days, and now I'm plumbing the depths of the Who's Who, because this question really intrigues me. Hmm.

Naturally, you'd want character whose origins (or whose creator's/poster's origins) stem from somewhere across the Atlantic. That pretty much leaves us with all the Englishmen and Yo. Hmm again. Not to mention you'd also need a base of operations, one as bizarre and intricate as Parodiopolis, but without the ten years of development we've already got. Hmmmmm.

Okay, a lineup is forming in my head. I think it'd have some very fun character dynamics. None of them are active on the board right now, but that's never stopped me before.

1. Yo - I miss the little thought-being, and dashing across Europe in a Zorro outfit just seems right to me.

2. dull thud, because he's a Scot, and he's damn fun to write, so why the heck not. Cressida too, of course.

3. A returned Nats (and therefore Uhuna) - Well, because people have been asking, and a guy who can fly pretty fast won't mind hopping over the pond to hang out with some old pals. He would probably be looking for a change of pace, anyway. Plus, it turns out he's super-popular in Germany. No one knows why.

4. De Brown Streak - 'cause, hey, a speedster can jet to and fro across the ocean, too, and there'd be some drama to play with now that Nats and Uhuna are back in the picture.

5. Messenger - But a new one, I think, a female, secretly working as an agent of the Vatican, and yes, I just made all this up but it sounds neat in my head. I'm sure the Pope can turn out to be some cosmic entity or something in due time.

6. Xander the Improbable - About time he showed up again, and he never did join the LL before. If he's not available, put in a call to his cousin, Anaxamander the Impossible, if you must. He does a lot of standing around and sipping tea and delivering ominous portents disguised as pithy quips.

7. Elsqueevio, Greek god of small waters. No? I think it'd be funny.

8. We need more ladies. Um... Dancer? The Contessa? Do we have a Crimson Fox-esque figure?

It certainly isn't perfect, but it's a start. I kinda wanna write this now, damn you all. I haven't even been to bloody Europe...

The problem with American comics' European or other non-US geographical teams is that they always fall into one of two errors. Either the team is comprised of characters that can be "spared" from the parent American team (often Americans) or who have some vague kind of overseas link, or the team if filled up with charatcers themed on caricatures of a national identity.

By that latter I mean it would be like designing an American team with the line up of Captain America, Bald Eagle, Slapburger, SuperOprah, Ugly Tourist, Valley Girl, CIAgent, Californication Queen, Indian Brave, Wetback, and the Paunch.

That all said, I'd put a European team togehter as follows:

Mumphrey - he's got to be associated somewhere, if only to grumble that he doesn't like Europe.

Dancer - she's had plenty of relations whith Europe, and she's Anglo-Irish

dull thud & Cressida - Scotland almost counts a a country.

Angry-Screaming-On-the-Internet Kid from Germany

An Italian gangster robot from Shrike's Camorra Machina

Chocolat, surviving teen sidekick of the Belgian Waffle Five

Captain Mud - okay, Candia's not part of Europe, but it's got its cultural roots in Eastern Europe and it has approrpiate pverty levels

Gromm, the Living Flatulence - just because

Also I'd steal Nats' Messenger idea.