Adventures in Parodyverse - Saving the Future Part 9.1


    The Psychic Samurai nodded at the entrance guard at the front gate of the Safe, revving her motorcycle’s engine in anticipation.  She wore dark sunglasses and a black leather jacket over jeans and a dark pink shirt, but they still recognized her.  She was a hired consultant.  The guard handed her a plastic I.D. tag that said ‘Guest - All Areas’.

    As soon as the gate slid open, she drove in slowly, parking next to the administration office, as was customary for consultants.  She stepped off the bike and slid her sword she had stored in a special round metal tube on one side of the bike, and tied its strap across her chest so the sword was on her back, quickly, as if she had done it a thousand times before.

    She entered the office and removed her sunglasses.  It was designed like a doctor’s waiting room, with a glass window and a door, and a few waiting chairs.  Except that the window was made of bullet-proof glass, and the door didn’t open without being buzzed in.  It didn’t even have a doorknob.  

    Chiaki bowed to the receptionist, and she recognized the Asian woman.  The door buzzed loudly, and Chiaki was free to push it open and continue to the other side.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Warden Brody.”  Chiaki greeted him with a bow.  He had extended his hand by accident, but changed his mind when she simply ignored it.  Instead, he returned the bow.  Another corrections officer arrived.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Officer Willis will take you to the Security Office.”  he said.  “All the Safe operations and cells are controlled from that point.  Once you’re there, Operations Officer Keaton will give you a rundown of the security system.  Then you can follow Officer Willis on a tour of the facilities.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Thank you.”  Chiaki bowed again.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m afraid you’ll have to leave the sword in the Security Office during the tour.”  the Warden told her.  “Federal regulations.”

    She nodded again, and began following Officer Willis.

    The Officer led her down two flights of stairs and into a narrow tunnel lined with cameras.  No doubt it was designed to make it difficult for anyone to escape via that route.  “Thomas Gillespe is one of our most clever prisoners.”  Willis told her.  “He has attempted escape six times this month.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“He’s not attempting escape if he’s caught.”  Chiaki pointed out.  “He’s testing your security for holes.  Once he finds it he won’t make an attempt, he’ll simply be gone.”

    Officer Willis blushed at that assessment.  “I guess...um...that’s why you’re the hired consultant.  Anyway, we’re here.”  He tapped a code into a keypad next to a thick steel door, and it clicked.  He pulled it open by its handle.

    Inside was another guard sitting in an office chair, watching several monitors at once.  There was a large round button in the center of his console marked ‘Alert’, and a microphone at the end of a serpentine cord, with a small ‘Page’ button beneath it.  Behind him on the wall was a pull tab for a halon fire suppression system, and a large rectangular button behind glass labeled ‘Fire’.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“This is the Psychic Samurai.”  Officer Willis introduced.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh!”  The guard in the chair turned around.  He had a nametag which read ‘B. Keaton’.  He stood and offered his hand.  “I’m Bob Keaton.”  Chiaki noticed an empty mug on the counter behind him.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Page me when she’s done in here, and I’ll give her a tour.”  Officer Willis said.  “In the mean time I have to go on rounds.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Okay.”  Keaton replied dismissively.  “So...should we get started?”  he offeredn

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I would be delighted.”  Chiaki said with a smile.  “But first, may I have some coffee?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure...I need some too.  Been staring at these monitors so long--”  He continued talking as he went picked up his cup and went into the break area for coffee, but Chiaki couldn’t hear him from there.

    The Psychic Samurai whispered to herself, ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend’.  She took her sheathed sword off of her back, and turned around to input the code she saw Willis enter earlier on the keypad behind her, unsheathing her sword at the same tme.

    With smooth precision, the instant she heard the door click, she sliced the data cable to the security panel with her sword, and whacked the small glass panel protecting the ‘Fire’ button with her sword sheath, shattering it.  Just before the fire alarm went off, she raced through the unlocked security door and down the hallway.  The cameras were all dead courtesy of the cut data cable.

    The fire alarm set all the doors within the safe open, and giant armored garage doors designed for mass evacuation slid open.  The guards tried to mobilize to control the flood of escaping prisoners, but it was too late - they couldn’t catch them all.

    Chiaki raced past the Warden’s office, but it was now empty, as his staff tended to the emergency.  She tapped the door release with her elbow to prevent fingerprints, and then slipped out.  She looked around at the chaos enveloping the area...then she hopped on her motorcycle and raced for the front gate.

    She screeched to a halt at the guard booth.  “There’s been an escape.”  she said breathlessly.  “I have a lot of enemies in there...I have to get out.”

    The nervous, armed guard eyed the flood of escapees running around, and reasoned that a prisoner wouldn’t be dressed in civilian clothing, riding a motorcycle, and wearing a guest I.D.  He nodded and opened the gate a tiny bit so she could speed out, closing it quickly behind her.

    Every villain has enemies, she thought as she sped toward her next destination.  The Baroness’ pet villains will have more than they can handle.  Meanwhile, she had a disappearing act to set up...for herself.


---


    Anna lowered her head to accept a crown made of a ring of leaves, issued to her by the natives of a jungle she was found wandering through.  Their warriors found her, fought her out of fear and she defeated all of them without killing them - but with blinding speed and strength beyond imagination.

    Their only conclusion was that she must be the personification of their matron goddess, Atheria, checking on them to make sure they were living to her standards.  After giving her a tent, the villagers demonstrated how hard they worked by leaving her dozens of daily gifts of food and crafted items at the front door each night.

    The village witch-doctor and elders had gone to the caves in the hills.  They were jealous and angry at having lost their authority to this goddess.

    Two days into her new job, Anna managed to pick up some of their language.  She began to ask them if they ran into any strangers, or if they saw a large ‘hollow mountain’ - it’s the closest phrase they had to a building - appear recently.  Her heart sank to hear that she was the only thing new to their jungle.

    Radio frequencies were silent.  Even the Lair Legion bands were quiet too.  That was odd in itself - usually back home, unused channels had white noise generated by energy from the sun and space.  It seemed there wasn’t even enough of that present.  It made Anna suspect that she had better conserve her battery power, even with constant kinetic recharge, in case it wasn’t enough.

    It was around five days later that the warrior scouts came back all excited.  They were leading a purple haired woman into the camp, that they proclaimed spoke the language of the goddess.  Apparently it was Yuki, and she started out asking the scouts in English if they’d seen anyone who looked like her.

    Anna raced from the tent supplied to her and met Yuki as she saw her enter the village.

    Yuki looked over her suspiciously.  The android’s clothing had been freshly cleaned, but not very well, and was a little wrinkled.  It looked like someone scrubbed it clean in a river and beat it on rocks.  “How long have you been here?”  Yuki asked her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Five days.”  Anna replied.  “You must have been lost in the jungle a long time.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I just got here.”  Yuki said.  “Very strange.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We seem to both be goddesses.”  Anna whispered to her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh yeah?”  Yuki smirked and looked around at the interested villagers.  “I could get used to that.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yuki!”  Anna protested.

    Yuki laughed.  “I’m kidding.  We really should try and look for the others.  Can you speak to these people?”

    Anna nodded.  “I learned their language quickly.  It’s very simple.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We need to create a detailed map of the jungle.  Have their scouts tell us the layout of their territory.  That way, they can help us efficiently search, and we’ll know if any of our friends are out here somewhere.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Good idea.”  Anna was a little depressed that she didn’t think of it.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We’ll find them, Anna.”  Yuki told her.  “And then, somehow, we’ll get home.”


TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2008 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin