Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
Post By
champagne

In Reply To
The Hooded Hood offers a different kind of round robin. More of a round sparrow really. Or maybe a round buzzard.

Subj: Can I play?
Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 at 09:32:10 pm EDT
Reply Subj: Saving the Future – Part 5: Whodunnit? - collected edition (complete)
Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 at 09:39:14 am EDT (Viewed 1 times)

Previous Post

Saving the Future – Part 5: Whodunnit?

To the story!

People didn’t seem to feel they could easily write full follow-ons to this scenario, so were trying this a little differently.

We’re attempting a little experiment in interactive narrative. Posters tell me what their character – or other non-poster characters, or even other poster characters – would likely do in this situation, then I write that into the story to show what happens. If your character has skills at tracking, for example, and you want to examine the cell, then tell me and I’ll write a response saying what you find. Eventually we’ll tie up all the little fragments into a coherent chapter (with as little editing as I can get away with).

Who would you question? What would you ask? What specialist expertise might you call in? Where would you search? Who would you accuse?

If you’d prefer to contribute a section all by yourself, either to slot between the scenes of the last chapter or this one, just post them. We’ll find a way to fit them in.

And if you have “secret” actions you don’t want other posters to know about just yet in the story, you can e-mail me at iw at watsonhouse.freeserve.co.uk

Just to reassure you, the culprit or culprits has/have appeared in more than one PV story in the last year, and a little investigation with the right questions should throw up enough clues to identify him/her/them/it.

Proceed.

Tie-In (not completely reprinted in this chapter):
Adventures in Parodyverse – Saving the Future 5.1 by Jason

Previously:
Part One by Dancer
Part Two by Visionary
Part Three by the Hooded Hood

Part Four by the Hooded Hood


***


    In the secure holding cell under the Lair Mansion security chief Argus MacHarridan lay unconscious, his drugged coffee spilled out on the floor. The barred door was open, activated by the Legion’s most secret emergency over-ride code. Hallie’s own remote monitor feed had somehow been spoofed, reeling back five minutes of replay while the deed was done. None of the internal building cameras showed the unconscious power-dampened Lyle escaping, and none of the teleport, dimension-shift, or time-travel detectors had been triggered.

    The SPUD helicarrier and the troops positioned round the Mansion had seen nothing.

    Danny Lyle was gone, and it looked like an inside job. Dan Drury was furious, chomping on his cigar and ready to arrest every last superhero on the planet.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We didn’t take Lyle,” Hatman assured him. “At least, if one of us did it wasn’t an officially sanctioned LL operation. Someone’s working outside the team, and when I find them they’re likely off the team.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Someone who could just spirit Lyle away from the most secure cell you guys’ve got,” snorted Drury. “Like the Manga Shoggoth say, or that Liu Xi chick?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We would be able to detect even that,” Al B. Harper promised.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We’ll get to the bottom of this,” Hatman promised him. “For all we know Danny could have been taken by an enemy of ours to use against us – Thighmaster or Beth von Zemo or Peter von Doom; maybe even his mother Symmetry.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No time disturbance,” noted Al B.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“But we will get to the bottom of it,” declared the capped crusader. “We’ll find out whodunit, and how, and why, and where Danny is now.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’d better,” warned the head honcho of SPUD.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And then,” Hatman went on, “you can’t have him.”

***


[This section by Killer Shrike]

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“This is what I know,” Simon Maddicks began.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Al B Harper is working on a test in his lab where he’s trying to identify some kind of “evil gene” in this kid Danny Lyle. Who’s Danny Lyle? Well, besides being the squeeze of the sister of the woman I HATE MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD, he’s also the son of the Hooded Hood. I’m sure you heard of him. And on top of all that he may be the guy who becomes the guy known as The Moderator, who took over the Parodyverse a while back and twisted things around so that he and his goons were the heroes.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You probably don’t remember that. And that’s because he lost. The heroes, who were really the villains on that world, and me, who’s just awesome no matter what reality I’m dumped in, collectively curb stomped him and his entire operation, turning things back to the way things are supposed to be. Except now apparently the Lair Legion are worried this kid may become The Moderator or something worse and destroy the world like his alternate version of himself did. Kapisch? So Harper’s running his tests and if the result is that Lyle will become the big arch villain every little boy dreams of growing up, they might kill him.”

    The big man in the army jacket stopped talking briefly, waiting for the mounted policeman to trot past the park bench where he and his companion were sitting, “This is what I plan to do about it.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m going to bust him out of Lair Island. Lyle’s old man was the only boss I had who ever treated me right. Sure he had a fruity accent, but the Hooded Hood was all class. He knew what it meant to be a villain. And his legacy- see, he’s dead now, got blown up during the Parody War- the Hood’s legacy shouldn’t be snuffed out by a bunch so called do-gooders who don’t know the rules. That’s what torques me off more than anything else: these schmucks in the Legion don’t even know their role. They’re getting ready to cross a line, and after that it’s only a matter of time before they all start growing goatees and wearing eye patches and become evil. Like that episode of “Super Friends” where Flash dies and the heroes all turn into asswipe fascist dinks. Follow me?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Not really.”

    Simon searched for the right explanation, gazing up into the clear night sky over Oft Central Park as if for inspiration, “I’m going to rescue the kid before the heroes kack him in order to serve the greater good, turning themselves into a bunch of even bigger tools.”

    There was a long pause, “OK.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Now, Part C, Why you need to help me. One, you’ve got your powers that will make it a lot easier to get where we need to go inside the mansion. Second, it’s your job to help those in need. Maybe you don’t normally do that by busting into Superhero Headquarters, but the idea is the same. This Lyle kid doesn’t deserve the death sentence Harper and the others are giving him. Then there’s point number three: you owe me. I saved you, nearly bled out for you, and I’m here to make you pay your debt. So are you in, or do I have to find some other good Samaritan to help me save the heroes from themselves?”

    The woman considered what the determined and dangerous man was asking before slowly nodding, “All right, “ said Grace O’ Mercy, the Night Nurse, “Let’s go try and make things right.”

***


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Procedures,” Hatman told the Legionnaires and their guests as they gathered in the main entrance hall of the Lair Mansion. “Colonel Drury’s suspicious about letting us do our own investigation into Danny disappearing. I’m suspicious about Drury sending his agents to turn over our headquarters. So we have a compromise.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Drury buts out and lets us get on with business?” Yuki suggested.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Any one of us could have done this,” the Librarian pointed out. “We’re lucky the Colonel believed Hatman that this wasn’t a team-sanctioned operation.”

    Hatman winced. He’d given the head of the Super-Menace Principal Undercover Directorate his word that he’d had nothing to do with Danny’s disappearance and Drury had accepted it. When Drury had asked for his word that none of his team-mates were responsible, the capped crusader had been unable to reply.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What must we do, then?” Glory barked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Everyone gets randomly paired up. That way nobody can cover up evidence. People not directly involved in this go to your rooms and wait, or go to the Lair Kitchen and stay together. Nobody goes to the cellar levels without authorisation.”

    Drury stepped forward. “We’re gonna need a list of who was in the building ta start with,” he noted.

    Hallie handed him a datapad with the information on it.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And I’ll need to know where you all were the half hour before Lyle disappeared,” Drury went on.

    The Librarian recorded the residents’ statements:

Logged Present in the Lair Mansion, 0910 hours local:

Hatman (Jay Boaz), leader of the Lair Legion – alone in his office 0745-0915, served coffee by Flapjack 0855, Amber St Clare looked on 0905, Hatman left to discuss business with CrazySugarFreakBoy! 0917-0930.

CrazySugarFreakBoy! (Dreamcatcher Kokopelli Foxglove), deputy leader of the Lair Legion – performing “cybersex” with absent wife April 0900-0915, interrupted by Hatman in his room 0917 for discussion on hunt for Mr Epitome till 0930.

The Manga Shoggoth, loathsome elder being of the Lair Legion – talking with Ebony in Antarctica, buying manga in Tokyo and Amsterdam, watching Tenchi, discussing universal enfranchisement with Abraham Lincoln, dismantling a cuckoo clock to see what the tick smelled like, 0900-0930 and various other times and dimensions.

Yuki Shiro, cyborg P.I., tactical advisor of the Lair Legion – serviced bike in Lair Garage 0830-0910, encountered Al B. 0910 as he passed through, prepared training simulation in Lair Gym 1 0910-0930. Met with Anna in Gym 0920.

Dr Al B. Harper, archscientist of the Lair Legion – 0830-0845 morning row over comm-line to EEE with Miss Framlicker, 0845-0851 invented new form of energy distribution circuitry, 0851 received coffee from Flapjack, 0852-0910 hunted for missing energy distribution circuit board, 0910 checked Lair garage and saw Yuki, 0912 back in Lair Lab 3 where Hallie located circuit board under ham sandwich, then worked alone in lab to 0930.

The Librarian (Lee Bookman), researcher and archivist of the Lair Legion – 0900-0914 cross-indexed police and rescue services statements during Purveyors of Peril battle at end of World Tour. 0914-0930 cross-indexed witness statements regarding incursion of mutated insects controlled by the Bagpiper.

Hallie, artificial intelligence resident in the computer systems – 0900-0921 ran systems diagnostic on external security cannons, recrypted nanobot control data (regular schedule), sculpted virtual Notre Dame Cathedral (still working on Rose Window), attended enquiry from Al B. at 0912, called on Visionary and Kerry 0921, discovered error in memory log 0930 (five minute loop on security feed outputs), found Sergeant MacHarridan down for the count and alerted team to security breach.

Note: all of the above had access to the maximum security over-ride passcode

Flapjack, Lair Mansion major domo – Descriptions edited for general distribution; actual actions listed in uncensored archive file; worked in Lair Kitchen and Lair Laundry 0720-0930, in presence of Marie Murcheson 0857-0905, Amber St Clare 0900-0902. Took coffee to Al B. 0851 and Hatman 0855. Made coffee for Sgt MacHarridan 0818, encountered Amber en-route to cellars 0922, delivered it to holding cells 0825.

Sergeant Argus MacHarridan, detonator hippo, chief of security – Took watch over Danny 0600, due to be relieved 0100, checked monitors 0830 and confirmed no change in drugged state, received coffee from Flapjack 0825 and lost consciousness shortly thereafter.

Amber St Clare, government liaison – Arrived for work 0858, called in to lair Kitchen to say hello to Marie 0900, Flapjack also present. Called in on Hatman 0905 then went and worked alone in her office to 0920. Phone logs indicate four calls made from office 0915-0920. Made bathroom visit 0922, bumping into Flapjack with MacHarridan’s coffee in the corridor, then returned to her office to change her blouse for one the “didn’t have paw marks on it”.

Marie Murcheson, guest – Called in Lair Kitchen 0857, stayed to talk first with Flapjack then with Amber until 0905. Went for morning constitutional with Glory 0905-0920, then went to her room to change.

Anna, SPUD-designed advanced android, guest – watched “life orientation videos” provided by CSFB! (the list after veto, mostly Buffy the Vampire Slayer) in Lair Legion Living Room 0830-0915. Reported to Lair Gym for training exercise with Yuki 0920 and was performing it according to Hallie’s data logs when the alarm was sounded at 0930.

Magweed, guest – playing at a hidden location within the mansion

Griffin, guest – playing at a hidden location within the mansion

Glory, the pooch of power, guest – 0840-0900 in Operations Room checking on updates in hunt for Mr Epitome, 0905 met with Marie in Lair Kitchen and went for walkies, returning 0920, then back to Operations Room checking for updates in hunt for Mr Epitome (security logs confirm entry and exit from ops Room).

Other Mansion guests off-site at the time.

Confirmed off-site in the Lighthouse (according to Hallie and their own statements):
Visionary
Kerry Shepherdson

Confirmed off-site at Paradopolis University (multiple sightings):
Liu Xi Xian (but not all time accounted for)

Recently departed Mansion (0845):
Lara Night


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Okay,” Hatman sighed. “Now we look for evidence.”

***


[This section by Visionary]

    "Do you feel anything?" Hallie asked with a mixture of hope and a twinge of anxiety. After all, if the answer was "yes", then they'd have a lead, but also confirmation of a much, much bigger problem.

    "I confess... I don't know what I'm supposed to be able to feel" Marie answered, looking about the empty holding cell where the sedated Daniel Lyle was last seen.

    Hallie sighed. "You and I were both part of the Island's mystical defences, once upon a time..." she answered, although slightly embarrassed to have been caught grasping at such straws. "I thought maybe, if there was a suitable cosmic threat involved, one of us might feel some sign of it."

    "I feel a bit chilled..." Marie allowed, rubbing her hands along the outside of the long sleeves of her dress. "But I'm afraid I don't feel very special at the moment. I am sorry... I do so want to help you all, as you've been so gracious to me. I just... don't know how."

    Hallie smiled warmly at the former banshee. "Marie, you've helped us out so many times in the past, I doubt we'll ever be able to even the score." The hologram's mind flashed back to her bloody time as the mansion's protection against he dark forces of the Necronastycon, and she repressed a shudder. "Truthfully, I'm glad neither of us are being called to..."

    Marie gasped out loud, jumping back in alarm as she pointed to the corner of the room.

    Hallie spun, crackling with energy, her simulated heart doubling in speed as she scanned the cell for horrors from beyond. Finally, she found the source of her friend's reaction. "Ah" she noted with an apologetic look to Marie. She walked over and made a soft "tshk-tshk-tshk" noise with her tongue as she lowered her hand to the drainage pipe set into the tile floor.

    With a hesitant glance, a tiny, white, furry head popped out of the drain and then, responding to the artificial woman's coaxing, hopped into her palm.

    "Marie, I'd like you to meet Bunsen" Hallie said, holding the bright white lab mouse up in front of her. "Or maybe this one is Archimedes..." she debated, tilting her head to the side. The mouse did likewise at it peered back at her. "Either way... I suppose we should find out what my daughter is up to."

***


    Al B. Harper looked up from his microscope uncomfortably. “Um…” he ummed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What’s up Doc?” CSFB! asked him. He focussed his gawker goggles to stare down at the drug samples on the slide plate but the little wiggle chains meant nothing to him.

    The archscientist sighed and pushed his fingers through his thick shaggy hair. “Well, I suppose this is going to come out when SPUD finish their parallel forensics investigation,” he sighed. “This sedative. I made it.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Whoa,” said CSFB! “But this isn’t a confession, right? We’re not even in the library, with a spanner.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s from one of our standard LairJet field packs,” Al B. noted. “The stuff we tried to keep the Yurt asleep with that time.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The stuff that didn’t work?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The stuff that would work just fine to take a Detonator Hippo down. In fact that coffee had exactly the right dose. Exactly the dose. Not enough to harm MacAllistair, not enough to give him a chance to realise he was going down.”

    CSFB! looked appraisingly at Al. “Who apart from you would know that dose?”

    The archscientist chomped his bubble pipe reflectively. “Hallie, of course. Yuki, maybe. The Shoggoth, if he bothered to work it out. The Librarian could look it up. Hatty with his Doctor’s Headband. Anyone with access to our confidential medical logs.” He looked at the wired wonder. “You have a photographic memory, don’t you?”

    CSFB! nodded. “This speculation’s gonna drive us crazy, though. Listen, Al, if you did it that’s fine by me. Just tell me now and I’ll help you get Danny safe and away, maybe to my dad’s reservation.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nice try,” Al B. answered. “But you might need to cover better than that. If you did it, CSFB!, you know you can come to me to ship Lyle out of the building via an EEE transport gate, right?”

***


[This section by Visionary]

    "Hatman did this!" Kerry fumed. "He did this because he hates me! He always has!"

    "Jay doesn't hate you" Visionary answered calmly, sitting at the kitchen table in his lighthouse and writing a letter.

    "Well, he doesn't like me..." the hotheaded teen groused. "He's probably been waiting for a chance for payback ever since I..." She suddenly paused.

    "Yes?" Visionary asked intently, looking up. "Ever since you... what?"

    "Nothing. I don't know why he would have anything to hold against me. Likely just irrational from wearing his hats too tight or something..." she answered evasively. "Besides, it was likely the Librarian!"

    "It wasn't the Librarian..." the Regular noted with a sigh, going back to his writing. This was at least the second time through the entire list of suspects for an inside job, if that indeed was what it was.

    "Oh, sure... he seems normal. Quiet... Keeps to himself... What does that tell you?"

    "That he likes to read?"

    "That he's a serial killer waiting to happen, that's what!" she continued, ignoring the interruption. "I mean, having all of those books bouncing around in his head is bound to make a guy unhinged... Have you ever seen his little pet project? The bulletin board with all the interconnected push pins linking articles that reference some bushy haired guy and a guy with an accordion?" She shuddered. "I tell you, right now he's lowering a basket down to Danny and saying "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"..."

    Visionary signed his name and folded up the letter he was working on. "Danny's fine."

    "You don't know that!" Kerry yelled at him, tears in her eyes. "The whole universe wants him dead, and now he's gone missing! And what are you doing about it?!"

    The Regular gave her a hug, letting her sniffle into the lapels of his coat. "I'm doing what I can" he promised. "When you were missing in the Parody War, taken captive on a Dimensional Dreadnought, Danny didn't let anything stop him from getting you back." He hugged her tight. "First we find out where he is... and then we return the favor."

    "How do we do that?" Kerry asked, not letting go.

    "We ask around" Visionary replied, shuffling across the kitchen with his little sister in tow. He reached a gilded birdcage and opened the door. "I have a letter for Donar in Ausgard..." he said, holding it up in the air. "I need it there as quickly as possible."

    There was a humming sound with the underlying ring of steel behind it. Then, with a flash, a shining silver object shot out of the birdcage, punctured the folded parchment and carried it aloft and out the window in the blink of an eye.

    Visionary watched his enchanted Ausgardian letter opener disappear with his mail. "Sjelknuser's very reliable" he said. "He'll bring back word of whatever they've heard in Ausgard. The Chronicler has apparently been going around delivering a warning to half the universe... I'm curious to find out if it's the same warning."

    "You were the Chronicler once..." Kerry noted, her eyes narrowing as she pulled away from him.

    "You've already accused me..." he added it up on his fingers... "Seven times in the last hour. I would have probably confessed by now, if just so I could relax and watch some TV instead."

    "Well, you heard Drury! It had to be an inside job! Someone who knows our holding cells and how to circumvent them and all of the safeguards! Someone who knows how to slip by all of us in the mansion without us ever being the wiser! Someone who has it in for Danny and... me..." She paused, her face frozen in thought. "That total bitch!" she finally snarled, heading for the door. "She is so completely toast!"

    "Wait!" Visionary called out after her. "You can't go flambéing people without cause! Er... which bitch are we discussing, anyway?"

    Kerry whirled around, her eyes cold. "Zemo" she hissed.

    "Oh" The Regular considered this. "Well, take a coat..." he finally advised. "It looks like rain."

***


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Okay, Flapjack, nobody’s accusing you,” Yuki promised. “Just tell us how you did it and where you put Danny and we’ll call it a day.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Are you going to give me the third degree?” the Lair Legion’s butler asked hopefully.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No,” Yuki told him.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Then I didn’t do it,” Flapjack sulked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“But you took the drugged coffee down to MacHarridan,” the Librarian chipped in. “How did the sedative get into that mug without you knowing?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Did you meet anyone on the way down to the cells?” Yuki demanded.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I brewed the coffee in the Lair Kitchen,” the loathsome hunchback answered. “It was a little bit hot and MacHarridan takes it black so I left it to cool while I baked some cookies for Miss Murcheson.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Marie was there?” Lee Bookman noted.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“For some of the time. I think she took Glory for a walk later on. She’s trying to keep the dog’s spirits up while Epitome’s on the missing list. She’s a very nice girl. Then when I was heading for the cellar I bumped into Ms St Clare.” Flapjack leered. “She’s very bumpable.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And yet you live,” growled Yuki.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I had to put the coffee down while I was wiping the front of her blouse clean,” Flapjack remembered. “That was just before she boxed me on the ear.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hold on,” the Librarian blinked. “You spilled some of the coffee on Amber’s top?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Silk goes almost transparent with the right brew,” the hunchback assured him.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Those stains could tell us whether the coffee was poisoned when you brought it from the kitchen!” Yuki noted. “We need Amber’s blouse!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m on it!” promised Flapjack, racing from the room. “I love my job!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The stained blouse!” Yuki clarified; but it was far too late.

    At least an analysis of the blotches determined that the coffee already contained the drug when it was spilled on the unfortunate Ms St Clare.

***


[This section by Visionary]

    "Mom's onto us" Griffin reported, fading into sight next to his sister. "She found Newton checking out the drain pipes."

    Magweed nodded, greeting her brother in the hidden room within the mansion that they often used as a secret getaway. "It's spring, and the mouse guard gets a little excited at all the new smells" she explained. "Newton's usually quite careful not to get caught."

    "None of them have reported back yet?" her brother asked. "Glory's going to check out the cell itself, since the plumbing, wiring and crawlspaces around the cell could have been used to sneak Danny away somehow..."

    "They'll be here soon" Magweed assured him. While not as reliable (or as understandable) as the Mythlands mice she had befriended growing up, the former lab mice here in Parodiopolis had never hesitated to help out in any way they could.

    "How about the call?" he asked.

    Maggie offered him the heavy candlestick telephone base and the receiver that she had been holding up to her ear. "I'm on hold... they're looking for her."

    Griffin took the old rotary telephone and listened with his head next to his sister's. They had found the large antique tucked away up here and were surprised to find it in working order. What's more, they were doubly surprised to find that it did not seem to go through their mom's switchboard. Griffin had wondered briefly who received the bills for their international long-distance calls on it, but had decided that since this was an emergency, it would be all right to use it and make it up to the owner later...

    "Hello?" a familiar voice answered from the other side of the line.

    "Sam!" Griffin exclaimed. "We need your help... something's gone really wrong with Danny..."

    Samantha Featherstone listened carefully as the younger boy spelled out the situation in the mansion, asking few but direct questions where necessary to get the information in the most concise manner.

    "So he disappeared from a locked room, with no evidence so far of anyone coming in or out..." she summed up. Griffin could practically hear the wheels turning in his young friend's head. "Well, I might have some ideas..." she answered finally. "But I also have the number of somebody we should probably consult."

    "Consult?" Maggie asked.

    "Yes..." Sam confirmed. "She's just the one to ask. I gather she's something of an expert in cases like this, and we've worked with her before..."

***


    Dan Drury looked up as he listened to the tapped phone conversation from the bridge of the SPUD helicarrier. The old line didn’t have the Shoggoth-designed encryption that tended to send his analysts to the sanatorium. “Champagne Cacciatori?” he murmured to himself. “That might not be a bad idea.”

***


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anything?” Hatman asked Glory, Hallie, and the Shoggoth. “Anything at all?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes,” Glory answered. “Chocolate. The cell has a strong smell of chocolate.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Funny,” bubbled the Shoggoth, because I was going to say it smelled of paisley. With diagonal stripes. And a little bit of plange. Evesculated plange.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Chocolate?” Hallie frowned. “Why would…”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It masks any other smells,” Hatman said, double-checking with his Wolverine’s hat. “Somebody knew what we could do to check for clues.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“But it doesn’t make me sneeze like pepper or aniseed,” Glory added. “I like chocolate. It is bad for me.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’ve been over the logs again and again,” Hallie reported. “Whoever had the over-ride code for the security lock also had the over-ride for the monitor feeds. They just looped the tape. Simple once you’ve got past seventeen layers of firewall and defence protocols.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Maybe with a soupcon of left turn?” continued the Shoggoth in his own private world, possibly literally.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hacker Nine?” speculated Hatman. “Anna?”

    Hallie shrugged. “Maybe. But whoever it was didn’t leave any footprint on the system. If I didn’t know better I’d say it was done by me. And that’s quite worrying.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And a dash of spearmint toothpaste,” the Shoggoth said. “Nothing very special, really. I do not think that anyone used arcane methods to remove Danny Lyle from this chamber.”

    Hatman frowned. “Do those anti-cosmic power defences still work?” he wondered. “Could the Chronicler have just evaporated Danny where he lay?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Not without the defences at least noticing,” judged the loathsome elder being. “There’d at least be a written complaint.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Could you tell if Liu Xi or Lara or someone had been in here?” Hallie checked. Al B. claimed his sensors could pick them up if he checked over the data, but Al was a suspect as well. Everything needed independent verification.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I can find out,” the Shoggoth promised. “It’ll just take me a little while to digest the wall.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Right,” Hatman said, pulling out his Sherlock Holmes deerstalker, “Let’s keep eliminating the mundane possibilities. What about Fleabot or somebody shrinking Danny out of here?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Only in the Lair Mansion is that a mundane possibility,” barked Glory. “but from what I can tell the nanofilters are still operating. They certainly detected the mouse intrusion earlier, when Magweed sent her friends to look into that possibility.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I wonder where I can find a nice piece of cutlery to go with this?” the Shoggoth chewed.

***


[This section by Jason]

    Lara Night seemed almost a little hurt as she looked at Dan Drury, and then at Yuki Shiro, who was staring back with arms folded. She glanced at Hatman, but he looked away. He definitely didn’t believe in what the others were doing, but with Yuki you could never tell at first glance. Al B Harper was busy looking at Yuki, his mind somewhere else.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I didn’t do it.” Lara replied with a shrug to Drury’s point blank question - whether she had moved Danny Lyle somewhere. She was in Hatman’s office, but it felt more like a courtroom at the moment.

    Al B Harper snapped back to reality long enough to say, “You’re one of the few who could have, Lara, by process of elimination. The way you transport people is non-dimensional. You can also go straight through walls. My detectors, cameras, and sensors are infallible. They’d pick up Liu Xi, Goldeneyed, Dimensionweaver, Lisa, maybe even the Shoggoth – but they didn’t. That points to you.”

    Yuki’s serious look diminished somewhat as she butted in with more information. “Al, you know, I’m a suspect too. So are Anna and Hallie, even you yourself. We might all bypass the sensors without being detected.”

    Al’s face fell. Drury shifted his cigar to the other side of his mouth and chomped on it. Hatman looked up again.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I don’t believe I’m saying this,” Hatman contributed, “but Anna has no motive.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Unless someone asked her to.” Yuki pointed out. “And then asked her not to tell anyone.”

    Hatman grunted, but didn’t reply.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I knew we should have scrapped that android when we had the chance.” Drury mumbled.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s not her fault.” Hatman reiterated, only more loudly this time.

    Yuki gently gripped his shoulder. “I know how you feel Hatty, but the fact is she’s a suspect. We can’t prove she wasn’t involved yet.” She turned her attention back to Lara. “Or you.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re right Yuki.” Lara responded. “Though I can help Anna at least. Danny isn’t in the mansion, and Anna’s been here all day. So she couldn’t have moved him.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And Lara was talking to me for a while, before she left the building.” Hatman added quickly. “I guess it’s possible for her to transport Danny while talking to someone else or at long range but I doubt it.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What about Liu Xi?” Yuki asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Signing up for classes at Paradopolis University.” Hatman explained. “I called her while she was in the registration office.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh?” Yuki smiled. “Good for her.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So Lara here is still kind of a suspect.” Drury summed up, “Because of her far-reaching talents.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“But I doubt it.” Hatman hastily added. “Besides, Lara tends to leave this electric ozone smell when she transports someone away. It doesn’t last long though.” He thought again. “And chocolate might cover it up.”

    Drury ignored him. “We have Hallie, and we have a lot of possible outside influences.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Not to mention the possibility of multiple parties working together.” Yuki pointed out.

    Drury frowned. “Which means Anna is still a suspect. She wouldn’t have to leave the mansion, she could have pulled Danny out and handed him off to someone.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anna doesn’t trust easily.” Yuki noted. “If she handed him off to someone, it would have to be one of us, or maybe Visionary or Kerry.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What about the Hooded Hood?” Lara asked. “What about the Doorman, that Hatman in the other reality? When the Moderator changed things, he could do that kind of stuff. What if he actually existed first, and created the Moderator?”

    Silence fell over the room for a moment. Drury switched to a new cigar.

    Hatman finally stated the obvious. “We might be too late already, then.” He looked at Lara and surprisingly said, “Stick around, Lara. If you’re right about this we’re really going to need you.”

    Lara nodded once, and then she and Yuki filed out of Hatman’s office.

    Drury tapped his watch. “Tick-tock. We’re running out of time, Boaz.”

    Jay Boaz sighed imperceptibly, his shoulders stiffening. He would be walking around like that for a while until this mystery is solved.

***


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why is it that every time I meet you we end up in sewers?” complained Killer Shrike. He ducked under another low archway and caught another drip down his neck.

    Grace O’Mercy seemed to glide through the darkness, not even disturbing the cobwebs as she passed. “There aren’t sewers,” she corrected the butcher bird. “These are ancient ghoul tunnels.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh. Well that’s okay then.”

    Grace pointed ahead of her. “And there’s an ancient ghoul.”

    Shrike reached for a blade but the Night Nurse restrained him. “It’s okay. The Abyssal Greye and I have worked together before. He’s about the only person who could guide us through these tunnels to where we need to be, under the Lair Mansion.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure, the Lair Legion just leave unguarded passageways under their top security headquarters,” Shrike snorted.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh, they are not unguarded,” Greye promised them, shuffling forward in his faded dressing gown and carpet slippers. “No-one could find their way to the caverns beneath Parody Isle without the Ghouls’ assistance.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And there’s a price for this assistance, right?” Shrike checked. “You want to charge me an arm and a leg?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The Abyssal Greye and I have fought side by side in the Parody War,” grace assured the big mercenary. “And he knows this is in a good cause.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Of course,” the Dean of the Scholar Ghouls Under Gothametropolis answered evasively. “That’s why I’m doing this.” He turned round and beckoned to an even lower, darker passage. “Walk this way.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“If I could walk that way…” Shrike began before a glower from the Night Nurse silenced him.

    And they set off towards the Lair Mansion.

***


[This section by Visionary]

    Visionary sat down and opened the roll-top desk, breaking the silence of the lighthouse's great room. Inside were multiple drawers, and it took him a few tries to find the one that would produce the black inkpot. Taking the sheets of paper that he had plucked from the back of the printer in the other room, he spread them out before him. Finally, he withdrew a long polished cedar box. Inside he found a single black raven quill, cut and split on the end to make a pen.

    "Right" he said to himself, dipping the quill into the ink. "Now, let's get some answers..." With sweeping strokes he formed his message, although the penmanship made him wince. However, it was simple and to the point:

Quoth,

What the hell is going on?

Your Friend,
Visionary


Satisfied, he sat back and waited for her reply.

***


Next Time: Champagne investigates, Liu Xi burns her bridges, Kerry gets a message, Shrike and Grace arrive to rescue Danny, Hatman blows his top, Lara visits the Chronicler, the Shoggoth finishes his ruminations; plus whatever other stuff people decide to throw in there. Oh, and we might even have a solution.

***


Behind the scenes stuff:

I’ve tried hard to include the material folks have generated and to cover points they felt the cast would investigate. There’s still some developments I haven’t had a chance to work in yet from the lists people posted, including more of Jason’s story and the contributions from Hatty and CSFB!; that’s all for #6.

I’ve made a few very minor changes to the stories I’ve borrowed from others, either to reconcile facts between different strands or to smooth out the differences in characterisation from writer to writer. We’ll see what it reads like when it’s all together.

It’s still not too late to contribute thoughts, ideas, or even scenes to this section of the storyline before the next twist occurs.


***


Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2008 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2008 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.




I have a few questions.

1. Who was in the Mansion or on the Island at the time of the disappearance? And where were they at the time and say ½ an hour beforehand?

2. Who brought the security hippo a drink?

3. What kind of drug was used? Where did it come from?

4. Is the hippo awake yet? What does he remember?

5. Who has access to the Legion’s top security codes?

6. Check codepad and everything else for fingerprints/DNA traces etc. Have Glory sniff things.

7. Where was the Chronicler when all this happened? Could he have just done it with a zap?

8. The SPUD helicarrier was in the skies, right? And they have teleporters? Is there any way to tell if they beamed Danny up and Drury is just pulling a ruse?

9. Has anyone checked those tunnels to the ghouls? Presumably there’s security on them. What do the feeds show?

10. Any way of detecting magic? Could Danny have been made invisible or shapeshifted? Where was Sorceress at the time?

11. Could Danny’s Denial power have got him out if he was awake, as in “I’m not in this cell, I’m somewhere else.” ?

12. Check the phone logs and e-mails. Who outside the mansion knew that Danny was in trouble and where he was being kept? Garrick and Drury at least, but others?

Also, everybody should be randomly paired for this investigation, because everyone is a suspect. All evidence needs to be checked by 2 people. Nobody stays in an investigation room alone.

And my top suspects (in no special order) –

Hallie – she could easily fake the computer logs and spring the lock, then digitize Danny to make him vanish. She could probably disguise herself as a maid to bring a drink too.

Hatman – he’s got a huge range of abilities, and with a computer tech’s cap and a few others he could probably get Danny out of there. He knows the override codes. He might think this is a way of saving the LL from a jam that would otherwise destroy them and he’s taking a hit for the team.

Yuki – good with computers and monitor feeds, stealthy enough to drug a drink, knows the mansion well enough to hide someone somewhere (maybe in one of Liu Xi’s extra dimensional spaces). Same motive as Hatman.

Shoggoth – doesn’t care about human laws, all kinds of weird powers. If they’re right that there was no planar stuff happening then maybe the Shoggoth bubbled up through the drains and just ate Danny!

Al B. Harper – able to manipulate gadgets easily, probably knows sleeping potions, probably knows how to falsify the Mansion’s sensor logs about teleportation etc., might even be able to tap in and use the SPUD helicarrier systems to do his dirty work for him.

Visionary – with Fleabot helping him he could shrink Danny out of there, and Vizh is like king of the ghoul tunnels or something. He’s also got the contacts like Lisa who could hide Danny from the Chronicler. He can’t tell Kerry because she’d give the game away.

The Hooded Hood – he could retcon it so Danny was never in the cell, with the drugged drink as a red herring. Even if he didn’t do it I bet he set this whole thing up anyhow.

I love a mystery!