Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
Post By
jack Bryson

In Reply To
killer shrike

Subj: I always carry some
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 at 11:13:36 pm EST
Reply Subj: Next time I go camping I'm going to have to bring some of that Lizard Spit
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 at 06:32:50 pm EST


> > Lizard Spit
> > by
> > Jack L Bryson
> >
> > I bought a couple grenades. The vendor charged me four diamonds. I took the diamonds out. I put them on the counter. The Vendor took the diamonds. Then, he took out two grenades. He put them on the table. I took the grenades and put them in my satchel. I was outside.
> >
> >     When I was outside, I got on my Lizard. He started to walk slowly into the forest. He walked over the forest floor. There were sticks and rocks. The Lizard took me to a camp. It was abandoned.
> >
> >     I got off the Lizard. There were empty tents and sleeping bags. I picked up a box with crackers in it. I ate some of the crackers. Then, I gave some to the Lizard. I gathered wood.
> >
> >     Some of the wood was wet. I set it down next to the pit. I let the wood dry out and then I put it in the pit. I walked over to my Lizard. I pointed to the pit. He spit on the wood and it caught fire.
> >
> >     I sat by the fire. I had a cut on my leg. It was long, and it bled. I took a bottle out of satchel. It contained my Lizard’s spit. I used an eyedroper and took some of the spit. I squeezed a couple drops on my cut. Then, I used a rag and tied it around my cut.
> >
> >     Then, I crawled into a tent. I got in a sleeping bag. I slept for an hour and then I woke up. It was very cold out. I walked over to the fire and sat down. My leg was healing.
> >
> >     I saw some movement in the forest. I got up. I took a grenade from my satchel. I pulled the pin, but several men came up from behind. They had weapons. I put the pin back in the grenade.
> >
> >     They told me to start walking. I put my hands up and started walking. I walked past my Lizard. I kicked dust in his face. He sneezed. I jumped out of the way. All of his sneeze sprayed the soldiers. It burned holes in their uniforms.
> >
> >     I got up. Then, I put the fire out. I walked past the soldiers. They lay on the ground. I picked up their weapons. Then, I got on my Lizard and left the camp.
> >