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Adventures in Parodyverse - Creativity Part 6


    Hatman watched in horror as a hair-thin filament projected from the gloves of his assailant and whipped by his head close enough to nick his ear just barely.  He felt pain - he didn’t notice right away that his hat had been sliced in two until both pieces fell off of his head.  

    The filament continued beyond him to wrap around Yuki’s head.  She tried to duck, but the filament tightened and her cybernetic head was sliced clean off.

    The assailant was smart, too, pegging CrazySugarFreakBoy! as the greatest threat with the highest level of resistance.  CSFB! had been the first one taken down - he was still writhing on the ground, trying to escape from what should have been a fatal encounter with another filament, but only bound him instead.

    He tried to ask Mr. Epitome to attack for cover so he could grab another hat, but the Paragon of Power was still unconscious after being electrocuted by the touch of the assailant’s glove.  He tried his best to reach for his backpack in plain view - but he was clobbered by a glove-covered fist, and zapped into unconsciousness as well.

    A loud buzzing sound alerted everyone to the end of the simulation.  The lights came on, and everyone slowly began to get up.  Liu Xi Xian arrived with a pair of cutters to free CSFB!.  Yuki was cursing as she entered the room from a booth above and saw herself, head missing.  Anna took off a helmet she was wearing for safety.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Damn puppets move so slowly,”  she grumbled.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You wanted to control one so Anna could take greater chances with you,”  Dominic pointed out.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hmm.”  Yuki grumbled.  She looked at Anna, and took the two white gloves as the android handed them to her.  “Congratulations, Anna.  You came up with one of the most difficult simulations we’ve done.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“She was trained for battle,”  Dominic supplied.  “It only made sense we let her hone our strategy.”

    Lara Night was smiling when she came down from the booth.  She stood silently, arms folded, watching the spectacle.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You want to try?”  Yuki asked her.

    Hatman looked at Lara, and everyone else did as well.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Uh--”  Lara replied, her smile disappearing as she suddenly felt self-conscious.  “I don’t know.  I mean, you’re all the professionals here.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You told me you’re one at home,”  CSFB! pointed out.  “C’mon, give it a shot.  For me.”

    Lara sighed deeply.  “Okay.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’ll have to change my strategy.”  Anna announced.  “She has already seen the original one.”

    The buzzer sounded again as Anna put on the gloves.  The Lair Legion stood and watched.

    Lara disappeared as Anna lashed out with the filament again.  A wide energy barrier erupted from behind Anna, knocking her down - and the filament bounced off an invisible shield.

    Anna stood slowly and slipped the gloves off.  She threw them down on the ground.  “I’m sorry.  I won’t be able to get through that shield.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“That’s okay.”  Lara said.  “I went a little over the--”

    Before Lara could finish the sentence, Anna grabbed her and flipped her onto her back, pinning Lara by her throat.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The buzzer hadn’t sounded yet,”  Anna said softly.  The buzzer then sounded, so Anna released her.

    Lara stood, rubbing her neck gently.  “Why did you do that?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Because your greatest weakness, Lara, is your sympathy.”  Anna explained as she offered Lara a hand and pulled her to her feet.  “I played upon it to defeat you.  I played upon CSFB!’s theatrical tendencies.  And Epitome’s tendency to move close to use brute force.  And Hatman’s tendency to think a little too long before he attacks.  And Yuki’s tendency to show off.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Okay, you got me there,”  Yuki noted comically.  But then more seriously she added, “Sounds like you’ve done your research Anna.  What’s with the gloves though?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I found these lying around Al B Harper’s lab,”  Anna replied.  “They are a fairly simple defensive weapon, but most humans lack the reflexes to use it safely.  That’s why it’s been shelved.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“But if I can make them, someone else can perfect them,”  Al B Harper explained as he arrived.  “After all, that’s what happened with Anna.”

    Anna nodded.  “That makes the gloves a credible threat.  And all of the information I used to defeat you is no secret--”  She paused mid sentence and began to sound more humble.  “I don’t mean to embarrass any of you.  The Lair Legion has weaknesses, and I only wish to help you eliminate them before someone unfriendly discovers--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You did a good job.”  Hatman interrupted her with a compliment.  “We need a good butt-kicking sometimes to remind us of what we can improve.  That’s why we made Yuki tactical leader.”

    Anna seemed relieved, but didn’t say anything.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m not giving up sympathy,”  Lara added almost bitterly as she rubbed her head some more.  “I might have to pay closer attention, though.”

    Lara and Anna talked some more about strategy, and why Lara hesitates when she can so easily take the upper hand.  They were both learning - Lara about ruthless battle tactics, and Anna about giving someone a chance to do the right thing.

    Meanwhile, Yuki pulled Hatman aside.  She was smiling.  “Thank you for doing this, really,”  Yuki said.  “I wanted her to feel useful, and this really delivered.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It works for us both,”  Hatman replied.  “If she stays on our side, we have a valuable asset.  If we lose her to the other side, we have insight into her weaknesses.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah.”  Yuki looked toward Anna, who seemed genuinely happy to help.  “As tactical leader I have to think about that too.  But talking to her, Jay...it’s hard to imagine she was designed as a military weapon.  I mean, Dominic was too, but unlike Anna there’s an actual chance he may try to take us all down one day, if he thinks we’re a threat to this country.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Does he know you think that?”  Hatman asked.

    Yuki nodded.  “Doesn’t bother him, though.  He just said we all have our loyalties and hope to god things don’t end up that way.”  She then decided to change the subject.  “What do you think about me taking Anna into the field?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“On a Lair Legion call?”  Hatman cringed.  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea just yet.”

    The purple-haired Legionnaire folded her arms defiantly and pointed out, “You took Lara into the field.  How dangerous was that?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“She’s a professional super-hero back home,”  Hatman pointed out.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You didn’t know that at the time.”  Yuki noted.  “And you also took Liu Xi into the field--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Okay, okay, you’ve made your point.”  Hatman sighed deeply.  Those discussions with Yuki were so exhausting.  He relented and calmly requested, “Just...be careful, okay?”

    After Yuki and Anna walked away, Hatman realized that Lara was smiling at him.  “What?”  he asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I think you like her,”  Lara noted quietly.

    Hatman was prepared to deny that loudly but the rest of the Legionnaires had left already.  There was nobody to talk to but Lara.  “Lara--”  he started to protest.  But then he remembered to try to be more honest with her.  “I...discovered that Yuki’s easier to deal with when I’m nice to her, so we’re not always butting heads.”  He smiled slightly and added, “I learned that from Liu Xi.  But yes, I do like Yuki better now that we’re getting along.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Good,”  Lara encouraged.  She patted him on the back gently, and was impressed that he was used to her now, and didn’t move away when she reached for him.  “Oh...I wanted to say...you should spend more time with Anna.  She needs more exposure to...you know...normal people.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”  Hatman chuckled.


---


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How’s your skeletal structure?”  Yuki asked Anna as she looked off the edge of a tall building in Gothametropolis.  “Is it shock absorbent?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Shock absorbent?”  Anna asked.

    Yuki didn’t reply.  She leapt off the edge of the building and began to free-fall.  Not wanting to be left behind, Anna leapt after her.  Yuki landed hard on the roof of a building several stories shorter, dust from the gravel surface kicking up all around her, kneeling to absorb the impact.  Anna landed within a few feet.  Being less practiced, Anna skidded a little upon landing, and ended up with her hands touching the roof as well.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Are you okay?”  Yuki asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m fine.”  Anna replied.

    The purple haired cyborg then smiled.  “Wasn’t that fun?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes.”  Anna smiled too.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“After we finish this mission,”  Yuki told her as she reached for the roof access door that led inside, “I’ll take you shopping so you don’t have to borrow my clothes anymore.”  She pulled hard - the door’s feeble lock was no match.

    A moment later the door to the top floor was pulled open as well.  Yuki peeked around the corner gingerly, using infrared to see through the near total darkness.  “Camera at the other end of the hall,”  she whispered.  “I can hack it from here.”

    Anna stepped into the doorway, and Yuki saw brilliant flash of infrared light from Anna’s eyes for a split second.  The camera sprayed a shower of sparks and fizzled out.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hmm...infrared laser.  Very nice.”  Yuki smiled and mumbled something about Al B Harper and her next upgrade.  She turned her attention to a large office with a keypad lock that only said ‘Restricted Area’ on the door.  She hooked a cable from the back of her neck to the keypad, and it clicked open.

    Inside the room were rows of shelves of of optical discs in protective plastic cases.  Yuki stopped to hack the password protected catalog computer next to the door.  “That one,”  she said, pointing to a set of three discs.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What’s on them?”  Anna asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Something taken from the Lair Legion,”  Yuki told her.  “Something very valuable.”  She looked at Anna and honestly responded, “Zoxxon secretly meticulously recorded everything they could about Liu Xi Xian while she helped out at their Louisiana facility.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh.”  Anna took the three discs off the shelf.  “She’s been nice to me.”  The discs heated quickly and then shattered one by one.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I was just going to take them but...that works too.”  Yuki smiled.  “Come on, let’s get out of here.  We have some shopping to do.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Security is on its way,”  Anna suddenly alerted.  “They know someone destroyed the video camera.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How can you tell?”  Yuki asked.  She strained to hear, and realized that Anna could hear echoes of voices from the stairwell they’d broken open.  Somehow, though, Anna could piece the fragments of voices together.  

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Back to the roof, quick and quiet,”  Yuki said.  She raced for the stairwell.  She could hear Anna sticking close to her all the way up to the roof.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How do we get down?”  Anna asked.  It was quite a long way to the ground.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Collateral damage,”  Yuki replied.  She was eyeing a glass building just next door.  Without explaining further, she launched herself toward it, and crashed through one of the glass windows.  Anna followed quickly.  This time, Anna landed cleanly on her feet.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Just an office building,”  Yuki noted.  “We’re out of danger.”  She smiled and added amusedly, “And just downstairs and across the street is one of my favorite department stores.  Shall we?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure,”  Anna replied.  She looked back at the security guards atop the building next door scouring the rooftop with flashlights.  She couldn’t help but laugh.


TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2007 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin