Previous Post Tom Black #3: Bedroom Regrets In which Tom’s morning does not go entirely as planned and Asil has a rude awakening     Hallie, the Lair Legion’s resident artificial intelligence, flashed into Hatman’s office in hologram form. “Jay, we have a problem.”     The leader of Earth’s premiere superhero team put down the budget estimates he’d been struggling through and flipped off his accountant’s derby. “What?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Asil’s late for work.”     Hatman frowned. “Asil’s never late for work. Even when there’s bad traffic she jogs or…” He thought further. “She did go home after she left Black last night, right?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yuki heard her give the address to Mumph’s place and saw her get in a cab. Yuki followed Black, but somehow he gave her the slip.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I want that cab traced,” Hatman ordered. “And I want a full analysis of whatever Yuki recorded last night on her internal monitors. Then…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’ve already done that,” Hallie reported. She’d been multitasking. “Yuki’s on her way to the cab company now. With the Shoggoth. CSFB!’s heading to Mumph’s place. Al B. and the Librarian are still trying to find out where and how Black disappeared last night.”     The phone on Hatty’s desk rang. He listened to the news gravely. “The staff at Mumph’s Pierce Heights place say Asil never made it home last night. They assumed she’d been called back here for some Lair Emergency.”     Hallie swallowed hard. “Jay…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know,” Hatman agreed. “It could be bad. We should have taken this Black more seriously. Call out the troops.” He clenched his fists and rose from behind his desk. “Asil could be in serious trouble.” ***     Tom Black was waiting when his date woke up. “Morning Asil,” he greeted her.     His bed companion did a quick wake-up check which came short of a few vital things. “Where am I? Why are you here? Where are my clothes?”     Tom’s smile faded a bit. “You don’t remember? You didn’t seem that drunk last night.”     The girl clutched the black silk sheets to her chest and looked about with an alarmed expression. “Last night? What happened last night? What did you do to me?”     Tom leaned towards her then froze as he saw her stiffen up. “Look, this isn’t what I expected,” he admitted. “Are you saying you don’t remember us coming here? You don’t remember us making love?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“M-making love?”     Tom nodded. “You’re really supposed to remember your first time, Asil. I tried really hard to make it memorable.” He frowned. “This is not very good for my ego, you know.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You… and me… we…?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You really don’t remember?”     The young woman shook her head. “Last I remember we were in the restaurant and…” Her face became one angry scowl. “Did you put something in my drink? Did you?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Of course not,” denied Tom. “Look, we had a great date. At least I thought we did. We had fun. We got on really well together, and somehow we ended up here for a nightcap and, well, things happened.” He pointed to Asil’s clothes scattered about the room. “You seemed much more enthusiastic about this last night. Much more.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m sorry. This is… a bit of a shock. I really don’t remember what happened and I don’t remember…” Her expression changed again. “Oh no…” she winced. “I think I do remember flashes. I recall you were… um…” She flushed a very bright red.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Several times, from what I remember,” agreed Tom. “Look, I didn’t mean to do something you’d regret. I thought you really wanted to be with me.” A new thought came to him. “Donar’s going to use my head as a toilet bowl now.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“He’ll need to stand in line.” The girl slid from the bed, dragging the sheets with her for cover. That uncovered Tom and she turned away quickly.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s a bit late for modesty,” Tom advised her. “But if it’s really making you unhappy I could go into the bathroom.”     The girl scowled at him and tossed the sheet back onto the bed. “Fine,” she snapped. “It’s not like it matters now.” She started gathering her clothing together and dragging it on.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Good choice on the lingerie,” Tom ventured.     His date struggled into her bra and pointed a finger at him. “What really happened, Thomas Black?” she demanded. “I still can’t remember everything but I know that somehow you took advantage of me, got me to do terrible wicked things, got me to… well, you got me. How did you seduce me?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Charm?” Tom asked her. “Honestly, Asil, I just thought you wanted me. And if it’s any comfort, I had a great time with you. You’re wonderful. I’d love to see you again.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Again?”     Tom nodded. “Catholic amnesia apart you’re a great girl, funny and witty and full of life. I was enjoying the whole evening even before the fantastic sex part. I’d be happy to have more great evenings with you, with or without the sex.”     Another thought came to the girl. “Hold on. Didn’t we bump into Simonides Slaughter and Anna Salem of the Knights of Heck-Fire at some point? While we were having dinner?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure,” Tom agreed. “That’s how we ended up back here, at the Heck-Fire Club.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“What? We’re at the Heck-Fire Club?”     Tom held up their trademark black silk sheet. “We got invited back for a drink, remember? Simonides offered me a room for the night and I was going to call you a cab home and then… well, things went a different way.”     His date was thinking fast. “Anna Salem is a telepath. She could probably influence minds, provoke certain… certain urges. And Lionel Loadstone is a member, and he sweats psychotropic chemicals that lower inhibitions. How much did you pay them to make me surrender my virtue to you?”     Tom looked at her in disbelief. “Surrender your virtue? Is this a nineteenth century romance novel? Asil, we kissed, we fooled about, and then it seemed like a good idea to go further, so we did. At any time you could have said ‘no’ but you didn’t. In fact as I remember it you said something about not letting your doody-head clone-template have all the fun any more just before you…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I remember,” the girl interrupted, blushing again. “But that could have been the mind control or the lust-sweat.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Look, for the last time, there was no great conspiracy. Just mutual need and attraction.” Tom Black pushed back the hair from his forehead and rubbed his temples. “This isn’t really what I expected this morning to be like.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“What did you expect then?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, I was hoping you’d remember me, for starters. And I was thinking maybe we’d kiss and cuddle some more, get a shower and a lazy breakfast together.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Which was the together part, the shower or the breakfast?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Both, preferably,” Tom grinned. “Then we’d talk, and I’d suggest delaying my flight home for a few days so we could spend more time together. There’s some other things that have come up recently during my stay in Paradopolis so I’ve got plenty of reasons to prolong my visit.”     The girl considered this. “Oh.”     Tom rose from the bed. “You know, it’s not too late to go with that plan, Asil,” he suggested. “I’m not saying I’m head over heels in love with you. Not yet. I could see myself falling big time, but we’re still new together. If we are together. I’m sorry things went further than you’re comfortable with on our first night, but what happened happened. Does it have to ruin our relationship?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“We have a relationship now?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“If you want one. Do you?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I don’t know.” The girl bit her lip. “Everything I thought I knew seems different now. Everything seems strange and new.” She sighed. “I don’t think I can ever make fun of Nats and Uhuna again if their ever get back from their honeymoon dimension.”     Tom folded his arms around her, very slowly so she could shy away if she wanted to, and then he kissed her.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m going to take a shower,” the girl announced.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Really?” Tom answered. “Alone?”     The blush went all the way down her torso now. “Not necessarily,” she ventured. ***     Simonides Slaughter looked up from his table on the Heck Fire Club veranda as his guests emerged for breakfast. “Ah, Mr Black and Ms Ashling. I trust you had a comfortable night?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“We were fine,” answered Tom evasively. “You were aware that Asil stayed over?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“We do have security systems,” Anna Salem answered. “At least as good as the apparatus in the Lair Mansion.”     Tom squeezed his companion’s hand to warn her not to get into a bickering match with the White Empress.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, I’m glad you were completely satisfied,” Anna smirked, glancing at the Lisa lookalike beside him.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Have you had a chance to reconsider our offer of membership, Tom?” Simonides asked his guest. “As I’m sure you are beginning to recognise, there are many advantages to being an ally of the Knights of Heck-Fire.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Wait a minute,” Tom’s date frowned, looking at the leaders of the Inner Circle. “What are you implying? Are you talking about me? About my sudden decision to stay the night? Because if you are…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Be silent,” Anna Salem told her, and the girl shut up in mid sentence.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Telepathic influence?” Tom asked the White Empress. “Hard to keep that up when a mind’s been trained how to resist it.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“What we’ve got is better than mind control, Tom,” Slaughter answered, buttering another piece of toast. “You want this wench? Say the word and she’ll be yours forever, utterly obedient, utterly willing. Do what you want with her, she’ll never complain. We are the Heck-Fire Club, and we have many resources.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Has one of them analysed me yet?” Tom asked. “I presume that’s why you wanted me to stay the night here, why you altered my memories to make me think I’d come back here with Asil of my own accord?”     Slaughter and Salem exchanged glances. “You saw through that, then?” the White Empress noted.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“As I said, telepathy against a trained mind has some serious limitations. And as you’re probably aware by now if your resources are as good as you say they are, I’m not exactly without power of my own to resist mental influence.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“We got the analysis back from Hammond Sterr not half an hour ago,” the Black Emperor admitted. “Kaos energy is rare and deadly stuff. Rots the soul from the inside out, they say, and the more power it grants the faster it destroys.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Any idea how a container full of it happened to get into the warehouse where my grandfather’s stuff was stored?”     Slaughter shrugged. “Your ancestor had a good many dark contacts. Who knows where he found the Judas Box? It simply concealed itself from the heroes until it found someone it could do business with, and then imparted its contents to you.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“And you knew.”     Anna snorted. “Thomas, the moment you opened that box every sensitive on this hemisphere knew. Oh, not specifically where you were or what you’d done. Just that a great evil had been loosed on the world.” She pointed to the withering flower display on the breakfast table. “You’re carrying around one of the most potent mystical forces in the Parodyverse. The signs and portents have already begun.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Is there a handbook for this?” Tom asked. “I could really use cogent summary to bring me up to speed.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Depends,” Slaughter noted. “On whether you decide to join our little cabal. Will you? We could use a man who manipulates kaos.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Or is manipulated by it,” Anna added with a cold smile.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“We’ll throw Ms Ashling in for free,” the Black Emperor offered. “Think of her as a joining present. A chance to pay back the heroes for their discourtesy to you and your great great grandfather.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Or if you don’t want her,” the White Empress continued, “or decide not to join us…” She glanced over at the silent girl and had her lift up a fork and hold it just in front of her eye. “Our hold over her is much better than mere mind control,” Anna Salem smirked.     Tom hadn’t touched his coffee. He sat back in his chair and regarded his hosts. “Have you been able to determine yet how the kaos-stuff is manifesting in me yet?” he asked them.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“We’re working on that,” Slaughter admitted. “It seemingly affects everyone differently. We’ve only seen how it worked through Armageddon in the modern age in our world, but…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I can do this,” Black answered. He held out his palm and spawned off one of the green glowing will-o-th’-wisps he’d discovered he could make.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“A kaos globe?” Anna puzzled. “What does it do? It almost has… intelligence.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m still working on the capacities of my little friends,” Tom admitted. “But I’ve worked a few things out. I can use them for remote viewing, for example. So while we’ve been talking here I’ve been checking out your headquarters. Oh, and they can pass through walls, except for a few you seem to have mystically warded.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Very useful,” admitted Slaughter. “That’s a significant intelligence asset.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I also suspect they can merge into computer systems and download information,” Black went on. “I’d need to investigate that some more. For the moment all I know is that if I slide them inside security cameras and defence systems those things come under my control, not yours.”     Anna sat forward. “Mr Black…” she said warningly, gesturing to her hostage,     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Go ahead,” Tom offered. “Have her do it.”     The White Empress could sense the sincerity in Black’s mind. “What?” she asked, nonplussed. “I thought…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“That’s not the real Asil anyway. My little friends can see things I can’t, like life force and energy, even the kaos inside me. Whoever this is she’s not human.” Tom smiled thinly. “The sex was good though. And while you were keeping me busy while you were analysing me I needed time to take complete control of your security devices.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You did what?” Slaughter snarled, just before he and the White Empress were cut down by their own taser snares.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know there were some occult defences as well to prevent me doing that,” Tom added as they tumbled to the floor, “but it turns out my little friends can take possess them as well.”     He paused then as he discovered a steak knife at his throat. The false Asil was holding it just over his carotid artery.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Darling,” he said to her, “after all we’ve meant to each other!”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You knew I was an impostor,” the girl noted. “You knew I wasn’t Asil last night when we went to bed, and you knew I was role-playing this morning. But you still slept with me.”     Tom nodded.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I like that in a man,” she smiled.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, I imagine you’d be attracted to deviousness, ruthlessness, lust, and vengeance,” Tom Black suggested, “since you’re a demon from the abyss.”     The Asil impostor tilted her head slightly in acknowledgement. “Very good. Any other things to say before I kill you?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes. Where’s the real Asil?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Like I’m going to tell you. Let’s just say she’s not going to have as pleasant an awakening as you did.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You realise she has some very serious friends who will take a very dim view of anything happening to her.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You realise that when they’ve finished with her they’ll give her to the Hero Feeders to devour, and then her friends won’t even remember that she existed.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, that would get me off the hook,” Tom considered, “but on the whole I think I’d better rescue her. She is my date, after all. I got her into this.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Aren’t you forgetting the whole knife to the throat scenario, lover?”     Tom looked down at the blade and at the lookalike holding it. “There are other defences I’ve had my kaos spheres possess right now,” he noted. “The concealed lasers, for example.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Lasers can’t kill me, darling.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“They could put some serious holes into Slaughter and Salem. That might look bad on your work appraisal.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Do it. I’m a demon. I never liked those two anyhow. Then I can get on with slitting your throat.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“There’s always the possibility that when I realised you were a demon I set in motion plans to destroy you,” Tom pointed out. “That’s a risk you’d have to take if you attack me. And even if you succeeded, your – employers? Summoners? Slaughter and his crew wouldn’t be happy to see their potential new member carved up like a chicken.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So what do you suggest?” the girl asked.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, perhaps you’d be open to a better offer?” Tom ventured. “Come and work for me.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Work for you?” That seemed to catch the demon unawares.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure, why not? If it’s the binding the Heck-Fire Club put on you that’s bothering you I think one of my will-o-th’-wisps can probably possess it and break it. The sex part of the job’s optional, but if you want to include that on the job description I’ll try to meet your demands.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Really. And what about Asil? I thought you were starting to love her.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Asil’s a great girl, but the things you thought I was saying to her were no truer than the things you said to me. And after this I don’t know if she and I could really have a proper relationship. I’d be imagining… well, you.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“My speciality,” preened the demon.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So, you want the job?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You don’t have any idea, do you?” the Asil lookalike breathed. “You don’t know what opening the Judas Box and taking the kaos energy has set in motion. Every cult, every demon, half the archvillains on this world are going to want a piece of you – to ally with you or manipulate you or destroy you. If I work for you I’d be facing constant danger and violence, a never-ending spiral of senseless bloodshed. Of course I’ll take the job.”     The demon shifted shape, reverting to her default form (except for the wings). Now she resembled an attractive brunette with burnished red-brown skin. “I’m Regret of the Damned,” she announced, casting the knife away. “I tempt men to their doom. You’re my new boss.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Welcome to the team,” Tom told her. “Now where’s Asil?” ***     Lionel Lodestone was waiting when his date woke up. “Morning Asil,” he greeted her with a nasty chuckle. *** Continued in Tom Black #4: Portents of Armageddon *** The Knights of Heckfire, a.k.a. The Heck-Fire Club are an ancient association for the rich and powerful to meet and play, retaining the trappings of the orgiastic revels of the eighteenth century rake’s gatherings. However, an Inner Circle also use the club and its contacts as a power base for their political and economic machinations – to rule the world. The Paradopolis branch of the Heck-Fire Club is an extensive estate in exclusive Pierce Heights. The Club is ruled by a Black Emperor and a White Empress, Simonides Slaughter and Anna Salem, who have secretly held those positions since the group’s foundation. Slaughter has the gift of reflecting back metahuman powers upon their wielders. Salem is a high-end psionic with telepathic and telekinetic abilities. Unknown to even some of the Inner Circle they are both powerful and ancient Hero Feeders, extradimensional entities who devour humans out of the narrative of the Parodyverse. Other inner circle members include scientist Professor Hammond Sterr (also a Hero Feeder), millionaire porn baron Leonard Lodestone, and warlock Asteroth DeSoth. The Heck-Fire Club also runs a private School for Privileged Youngsters (colloquially termed Young Heckfire), where metahuman teenagers are groomed for a future life of power and domination. Regret of the Damned is a demon temptress, specialising in the seduction of the innocent and their corruption to damnation. Regret claims to have once been a human Catholic girl who died in a car crash unshriven after having sex with her boyfriend and therefore bound for hell. Demon Lord Sage Grimpenghast selected her as the most likely of all his billions of souls to transform as a temptress to use in his plot against Nats. When Regret betrayed Grimpenghast for Nats she expected eternal torment in the deeper levels of hell but was actually cast back to Earth. This is the first we’ve heard of her since then. More on Regret in her debut story, Untold Tales #226 The Hooded Hood's Homepage of Doom Who's Who in the Parodyverse Where's Where in the Parodyverse *** Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2007 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2007 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.

Tom Black better hope the Shoggoth finds him before Yuki does.  The Shoggoth might not hurt him quite as much.