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Subj: Adventures in Parodyverse: Snowed In Part 3 Posted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 at 01:23:58 pm EDT (Viewed 839 times) | |||
Adventures in Parodyverse: Snowed In Part 3 Her eyes opened, and glanced around the room quickly, her breathing quick as she realized she was in a place she did not recognize. She felt alarmed, and even more so when she zeroed in on a man wearing a lab coat, crazy hair, and a bubble pipe. “My name is Al,†the man said. “What’s yours?†She thought for a moment, not because she didn’t know her name, but because she was not sure she should be talking to this man. “I helped Dr. Lia Anne reassemble you,†he tried again. “Anna is your sister. She lives here now.†That finally caught her attention. “Anna?†she finally spoke, slowly. “Yes, Anna,†he said. “But that’s her name. What’s yours?†She started to feel a little bit less alarmed, if her sister Anna was living there somewhere. “I am Nena,†she said. “I want to see Anna.†“Okay.†Al picked up his cell phone from a metal table nearby and called Anna. “Hey Anna, I have a surprise for you. Come down to my lab.†“On my way,†Anna’s voice boomed through the tiny speaker, Al’s phone being inexplicably turned up way past a reasonable level. Nena’s head turned to the sound - she recognized that voice. She tried going toward it, but her arms and legs would not move. She looked down, remembering that in early assembly stages she was just a head, but her neck was reacting, and her body was attached. She was wearing a loose white one-piece jump suit, and socks, but no shoes or gloves. She also noticed that her arms and legs were restrained. “Oops. Sorry.†Al rushed over and removed the bars holding her limbs against the wall. “I needed those so you wouldn’t fall over.†Nena stumbled a little, but managed to successfully step away from the wall. She started to slowly wander around the lab, taking in glances at all of Al’s equipment. She stopped in front of a mirror, and got a better look at the jump suit and her own long, soft pink hair and eyes. “Nena, can you do a self test?†he asked. She looked at him for a moment, stone-faced, and then nodded. A few seconds of pause later, she said, “All equipment is normal.†“Excellent!†Al exclaimed. “How are you feeling?†Nena looked at him again still stone-faced, but then she started to smile. She knew, asking a question like that, he wasn’t lying about working with to Dr. Lia. “A little confused,†she replied. “How did I get here?†“It wasn’t easy,†he explained. “You were an early prototype before Anna. S.P.U.D. had you disassembled shortly after Anna was built. Dr. Lia never forgave herself for letting them do that, and she spent all this time tracking down where you were stored. We pulled off an amazing heist at a government warehouse and...here you are.†Nena nodded. “My memory modules are all still intact,†she happily said. She stopped by a nearby bench, where some schematics were sloppily sketched on Lair Legion letterhead. “I sketched those during Yuki’s meeting,†he said. “You replaced my batteries with different ones,†she interpreted. “Kinetic ones, like Anna has,†Al replied. “Took me a couple of days to figure out how to wire them so they charge on a feedback loop.†“Why did Dr. Lia make you both female, anyway?†he asked. “She was not very social,†Nena explained. “She would have had to either borrow a soldier or hire a model to design an accurate male.†“So you have a similar body to Anna’s, but your brain is completely different,†Al summarized. “Yours is an advanced logic computer.†Nena nodded, “Same body, just a little smaller. I was designed to a weight limit. And when I was constructed, Dr. Lia had not perfected the pattern processor yet. It’s in my head too, only it’s software.†“Ohhh, that explains a lot,†he said. “The lighter battery, the smaller size. The lack of EMP shielding for your computer brain. I fixed that, by the way.†“Thank you,†she said. She turned around, and bumped into Al while he was trying to measure her waist. “Yup, just a tiny bit smaller,†he confirmed. “I don’t think it’s polite to measure someone without asking first,†Nina pointed out with some irritation. She looked upstairs to the second level of the lab, where a familiar robot model was working. “A sexbot?†Al followed her gaze up there. “Oh, that’s Tandi. She’s trying to break that old habit. She never sleeps, so she’s working in my lab at night.†“It’s night?†Nena asked. “Yes,†Al said. “A little past 2 a.m., actually.†“Why did you leave my eye lasers intact?†Nena asked. “You know I could have obliterated this lab if I didn’t like what I saw.†“I took a chance.†Al shrugged. “Trust a little, and maybe you’d trust me.†The door to the Lair Mansion opened, and Anna stepped in dressed in pajamas and slippers. Her eyes widened when she realized what she was seeing. “Sister!†she whispered. Nena walked down to the entry level of the lab floor, and looked closer at Anna. Then the two of them embraced, and they both started crying. “This is such a beautiful family reunion,†Al sniffed. Anna dried her eyes and approached Al. “You did this? You brought her back?†He nodded. “Well, it was an experiment, really. I didn’t know if she would actually work--.†He stopped talking because Anna hugged him tightly. And she she peppered him with kisses all over his face. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is the best thing anyone’s ever done for me!†“Really?†Al asked quietly. “Wow...†“Come on, Nena, let’s get Hallie to set you up a room. We have so much to catch up on!†And then suddenly Al’s lab was empty, except for him and Tandi. He looked up to the small office room where Tandi was working. “I think I’m going to bed,†he said. Tandi almost asked him if he wanted company, but then she remembered she was supposed to learn to become more independent. So all she said was, “Good night.†She did not tell Al that Anna was wearing pink lipstick when she kissed him all over the face. She thought it would be more fun if he found out himself. --- Lara Night awoke to a very gentle shaking sensation. She opened just one eye, slowly, and could see that it was still dark outside. The comforting warmth of the bed was suddenly diminishing, and she slowly put together the memories that led up to that point. At first, she didn’t really want to think about anything, because it was still very early, and she was tired. But then she saw motion just beyond the end of the bed, and she lifted her head. She was wearing a long sleeved sweat shirt sweat pants, and bare feet as she slipped out of the bed. It was all she had there to change into so she didn’t have to sleep in her clothes - she felt fortunate at that point that she left that small amount of clothing in Hatman’s apartment long ago for emergencies, since she visited often. “Early wakeup or thinking?†she whispered as she approached him, arms crossed for warmth, while he looked out the window at the falling snow. She stopped directly beside him so she could see what he was seeing. Lots of piles of white stuff. He jumped slightly at the sound of her soft voice, being used to hearing only silence in his own room. Then he calmed himself a bit and answered, “Little of both. You can sleep longer if you want.†Lara looked him over. He really was a bachelor, used to his own pad. He probably didn’t even realize that he stood there completely naked. She wished she hadn’t looked though, because now she couldn’t un-see it. “Um...why...?†she started to ask. “Huh?†he looked confused at her question. Then he looked down, and turned red a little as he quickly searched for something to shield himself. But after a few seconds he gave up, and with a sigh, resigned himself to being so vulnerable. She politely turned around and leaned her back against his arm. It only helped some, though, because she could still feel the warmth from his skin. “Just what you’re used to, eh?†“I never thought anyone would know,†he said with a laugh, his humor improved by quiet appreciation that she tried to spare his dignity. “I guess it’s okay that you do, though.†“I think I’ll go back to sleep,†she said, and then she strolled back to the bed, without looking back, on purpose. She didn’t see him finally find a pair of shorts and put them on quickly. She heard another sound in what seemed like a short time later, and she opened her eyes slowly. This time the room was brighter, so it had to be later. She looked around the room to see what the source of the sound was, and was shocked when it approached her and sat on the side of the bed. Except it wasn’t Hatman. It was the Chronicler of Stories. Lara sat up abruptly, clutching a pillow as if it was going to protect her somehow. “What are you doing here?†she asked. He began right away. “When I called you a dilettante, I didn’t mean you should go around killing everyone to prove me wrong.†Lara watched him with clear annoyance in her eyes, but she didn’t reply. “I guess you want to know why I’m here, and yes, I want something.†He looked around the room and added, “But first, I’m kind of curious why you’re here.†“It’s not what it looks like,†she defended herself. “Oh, I know exactly what it is,†the Chronicler replied. “You can’t hide anything from me. Including what you hoped it would be. Hatman is like me, princess. He’s not going for you. So why are you trying so hard?†Lara raised the pillow so her chin was leaning on it. “What do you mean?†“Do I have to spell out out?†he asked, sounding annoyed. “He doesn’t like girls. He’s in denial about it.†“But--†she began, hoping that he was just trying to irritate her, “He used to have all these one-night stands. And he confessed to me--†she stopped herself at that point, trying not to embarrass him or herself any more, which was kind of moot since Chronicler knew already. “That he ‘made love with’ someone and he shouldn’t have?†Chronicler completed for her, in a mocking tone. “It’s what people in denial do, princess. They try to prove they’re not what they think they might be. Just so happens that nature helps it out in this case by making that a rewarding experience.†“I don’t believe you,†Lara finally stood up for herself, and for Hatman. “Oh really?†he asked. “Let’s try an experiment. Let me inside you for a little while. And princess, trust me, I’m fully capable of satisfying you. After, we’ll see if you think I love you now, or if you still understand how much I despise you.†She sat upright suddenly, looking at him angrily, before she remembered that the Chronicler nearly ejected her from this universe once. He was just looking for an excuse, and hitting him would surely do it. He was pushing buttons, and she couldn’t fall for it. The Chronicler sighed impatiently at her lack of visible reaction, and then he rolled his eyes. “Oh, so you’ll let a married chaos master treat you like his personal sex toy, but you get offended by me suggesting it?†“I get your point already!†she angrily replied. “Do you, really?†he asked, looking amused that he provoked anger from her. “Because the point wasn’t about me.†Lara thought about that. Hatman’s tendency not to talk to his one-night stands ever after that one night - what if he despised them? Could the Chronicler be right, or was he pushing more buttons? “Yes,†she replied calmly, at the very least to throw him off the subject. “I get it.†“Good,†Chronicler replied. “You’re not as stupid as I thought. That’ll save me a lot of puking time later. It would take me hours to get rid of that horrid flowery smell on you. It’s going to stick to me just being in the same room.†Pushing buttons again, she told herself, trying to remain calm. “Could he really not like girls?†she whispered, more to herself than to the Chronicler as she lowered the pillow she held a little. “Could he?†he mocked her. “It is, princess, accept it. Anyway, I didn’t come here to cry with you about your pitiful lack of sex life. I want you to do something for me. Maybe then I’ll overlook the heavy-hitters you murdered since you got here. Lara swallowed hard, ignoring even more button-pushing, and bracing herself for what he was asking. “Remember that titanic insensitive ass Dark Thugos? Well, he’s coming to talk to you soon. To ask you what your decision is on merging with the Wonder Wall.†“And you want me to merge with it too? To sacrifice everything I am?†“Don’t use sarcasm on me, princess. Makes you look dumber than usual.†he replied, sounding annoyed again. “That whole stupid wall is bull. Someone merges with it and understands it, and Thugos has what he needs to destroy the universe and rebuild it in his image. And I’m out of a job. No, I want you to destroy it for me.†“Destroy it? Can I even do that?†she asked. “Duh, of course, or I would have busted into someone else’s borrowed bedroom and insulted them. Don’t try to smash it, by the way, it’ll kill you. You can became energy, so find out what it’s made of and resonate with it. It will shatter like a cheap mirror.†“And then Dark Thugos will try to kill me,†she guessed. “Better him than me,†the Chronicler warned. Lara made an impatient face at him that time. She knew that wasn’t true. “Why do you keep calling me princess, anyway?†The Chronicler smiled, and reached over to pat her on the cheek. “Because you’re so precious to everyone. You always have someone to spare your life for you. Don’t you, little princess?†The blonde sighed, and shook her head. “Why can’t we be friends?†she asked. “If we’re working together from time to time, we should at least get along.†He looked annoyed and pointed at her, like he was about to deliver either another insult, or another threat. But then he lost the will to do so, since she wasn’t responding to the others. “I’ll tell you what,†Chronicler offered, “You shatter that wall…†“Yes?†she asked. “...And you get Hatman to invite me to this bed, and we’ll be best buddies.†With that, he vanished, and the room was quiet again. Lara sighed...of course he would come up with a ridiculous condition like that. She lay back down, but only for a few more seconds. Hatman walked in just then to wake her up, and was surprised when he saw Lara already up. “You’ll never guess who was here,†she said. “Or what he said about you.†--- Liu Xi Xian steeled herself when she saw a woman with long, dark hair and glowing white eyes, dressed in a black bodysuit and bright red coat, fell right through the ceiling - without damaging it - in a hallway in the Lair Mansion. The woman stood, and looked directly at the elementalist. She had glowing translucent wings attached to her back. “Where is Sir Mumphrey?†the woman asked. “Nowhere, until you explain yourself,†Liu Xi bravely ordered. “Or I can send you far away.†The woman moved closer, towering over the small Asian. “You must be the elementalist.†“Yeah...so?†The woman tilted her head slightly. Liu Xi was not being threatening, she was being protective. Shai recognized that. “My name is Shai,†she said. “I was sent here by that idiot Con Johnstantine. I must see Sir Mumphrey, so that he does not die.†Liu Xi’s expression turned worried. “He’s going to die?†“He has a consuming disease,†Shai explained. “He has been shifting it into the future for almost half of his life, but it’s not going to work much longer.†That sounded like him, Liu Xi thought. “I will bring you to him,†she said. “But don’t try anything, or I will have to hurt you.†“Fair enough,†Shai agreed. She followed the girl slowly down the hall. “Where is that idiot Con, anyway?†she mumbled to herself. Somewhere outside the mansion, at the end of the bridge to the island, Con had talked a woman in a monster truck into driving him there in the snow. He was trying to get her phone number, unsuccessfully, since she didn’t like smokers. Liu Xi knocked carefully on Sir Mumphrey’s quarters. There was a shuffling within, and then a fumbling with the door lock. Then the door opened, and Sir Mumphrey stood before them in woolen pajamas and a night cap. He looked annoyed at being awoken… ...at first. Then he saw Shai, and her glowing white eyes. He pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at it, and then sighed. “It’s time already, is it?†he asked. Shai tilted her head. “Yes. I suppose it is.†The two of them looked directly at Liu Xi. “Give us a few minutes,†Sir Mumphrey urged the Chinese girl. “This, a young lady should not see.†“Why?†Liu Xi asked. Shai gave a slightly bored look to the young girl. “It will be very painful,†she said. “Oh.†Liu Xi replied. She knew Sir Mumphrey was a proud man. No wonder he didn’t want her to see. “Okay. Don’t hurt him too much,†she warned before walking away down the hall. Just then, Con Johnstantine passed her, glancing at her for a moment before approaching Shai. “That the girl who knows a hundred ways to pleasure a man?†“Show some respect, man!†Sir Mumphrey whacked him hard on the temple. “Ow!†he protested. “I brought this to help with the pain.†He raised a bottle of whisky. Sir Mumphrey swatted the bottle, too, and it landed on the floor, rolling against the wall. “You’re making a terrible impression,†Shai warned Con. Mumph frowned at Shai. “Let’s get this over with,†he said. Shai recognized that tone. She gripped his upper arm hard. “You will survive this, Sir Mumphrey,†she promised. “I will not have you giving up.†He looked into her cold, glowing eyes, and found compassion in there. And that from a race of mythical creatures who were known for their cold judgement. It brought a slight smile to his face. “Right, then,†he said confidently. And he led the way into his quarters. “Con, shut the door,†Shai ordered. She took a clean hand towel from Con and leaned close to Sir Mumphrey, pushing it into his mouth with her fingers as gently as she could. Down the hall somewhere, Liu Xi lingered, feeling nervous about the whole thing. She cringed when she heard what sounded like a muffled scream, but she held back her instinct to charge in and rescue him. A few minutes later, Con came out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Liu Xi intercepted him. “How is he?†“Recovering,†he told her as he lit up a cigarette, “Shai is going to stay with him, make sure he’ll be okay. I have...other things to do. Unless you have something for me to do, love.†“I don’t like smokers,†she said plainly. And then she strolled away, headed back to her room. Con looked at his own cigarette and sighed. “Five minutes. I should have waited just five minutes.†--- “He said what?†Hatman asked Lara Night. He was standing outside the bathroom as she finished getting dressed after a quick shower. Before going in there, she told him what the Chronicler said, but then made Hatman wait until she emerged again to continue the discussion. She felt she had to, as she told him she ‘really needed a shower’ after the encounter. She shrugged and sighed, and sat down on the edge of the bed. “I know. I think he was just pushing my buttons, trying to make me angry.†“Well...do you think there’s something to it?†he asked, sounding a little hurt that she might even entertain the thought. “No.†She shook her head. She smiled and replied, “I think you like girls too much. Except for me, I think I’m not spontaneous enough for you, because you’ve known me so long. I’m like an ex-girlfriend.†He wrinkled his nose, and laughed. But then he turned serious. “Well...you know how you told me stories about your ex-boyfriend? How you broke up because you didn’t want to get married? But then you kept making love right up until he got married to someone else?†“So?†she asked. “So you’re...kind of a cheater.†His voice trailed off at the end of that, like he wasn’t really sure he liked what he heard. But since it came out anyway, he tried to justify what he said. “I mean, first your ex-boyfriend, and then Dream. I worry if I start making love to you, I’ll be next.†Lara stared at him for a moment with a mixture of anger and sadness. Then the anger faded away quickly, and she closed her eyes and looked away. She had tried to be strong after having constant visions of killing Doorman in that prison, and after the Chronicler of Stories insulting her and Hatman both. But a friend saying that about her was too much. She was unmistakably crying now. “I’m sorry, Lara,†he whispered, and he reached out to hug her. But she turned away instead, and quickly tried to dry her eyes. “I didn’t mean that to be insulting. Please forgive me. That was stupid of me to say, I wish I could take it back.†“No,†she whispered as she wiped away more tears. “No, it’s okay. I guess I suspected for a while the reason was something hurtful, since you wouldn’t tell me. That’s why I was so scared of asking. I was afraid you’d flip out and blurt out what you really felt, and a tender moment would end with me crying and alone.†“Wow,†Hatman whispered as he sat beside her on the bed. “For two people that get along and have fun, we had a lot of baggage between us.†Lara nodded, and clasped her hands in her lap. “I guess so. I’d be really grateful for any advice you can give me though. To be less cheater and more desirable, maybe?†“Desirable isn’t a problem you have, Lara,†he pointed out. “That’s two compliments now,†she interrupted. “Two more than I’ve gotten in a long while.†“But,†he continued, “You could relax your terms a little. Tell people you might think about getting married and having kids instead of never.†“You think that will help?†she asked. He nodded. “I think it’s a lot sexier when a girl might be impressed enough with me to marry me. And likes to be really spontaneous.†“Oh, one night with you, and she runs off to Vegas with you for a quickie wedding?†she poked fun. “I meant those as two separate things,†he clarified. “Though you saw me naked this morning, what do you think?†Lara looked nervous answering that question. “I...don’t want to embarrass you.†“Take your best shot,†he said, taking a deep breath and puffing out his chest. “I was scared to touch you, like I said.†she replied quietly, “But...I wished I could. I noticed that...that mother nature’s been very kind to you. I was also a little shocked you have so many scars.†“Shocks me, too,†he said, “Every time I look into a mirror. That’s kind of why I wanted to retire from the Lair Legion.†“It made me think something I never thought before about you,†she added, as she looked down into her own lap. “That...you’re much older than me. I mean, I know you’re not, but that’s what it felt like.†“The last blonde girlfriend I had, Whitney...we were um...very active. I mean, way more than I’ve been with anyone else. You don’t look much like her, but that’s...kind of what I associate blondes with.†Lara smiled first, and then giggled at that. “Seriously? So you’re--†“Wondering sometimes what you’d be like,†he said. “From a distance. But then close up...Whitney was so much more...aggressive. You’re so timid, Lara. I guess I could say part of why I’m so hands-off with you is because that’s the signal you’re sending. You’re saying ‘keep off’.†“So be marry-able, and a little more aggressive,†Lara checked her mental notes. “Can I give you advice, too?†she asked. “Just a little bit.†He nodded once. “Don’t be afraid to touch me,†Lara suggested. “Even when you just hug me, I see you hesitate. There’s nothing wrong with getting a little friendly with me. Last night I saw you nearly hugged me, but backed out.†“You were awake?†he asked. “I was then,†she said. “I still have nightmares. I really could have used it, might have helped me sleep. Speaking of which, we should do that sleepover thing again soon. It was kind of nice.†That’s when Lara noticed someone else in the room, casting a huge, dark shadow, blocking the reflection of the snow outside from coming in through the windows. She turned around to see who it was. “Am I invited to this ‘sleepover’?†Dark Thugos asked. TO BE CONTINUED? -- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2013 by Jason Froikin, and may not be -- reprinted without permission. | |||
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