Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post |
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Somewhere out in the American Southwest by the side of the road, there stands 2 men. "So…." The taller of the two started to say. "What do you think?" He wore a bright neon yellow height length trench coat, it had seen better days. Under his coat, starting from the bottom going up is a dirty pair of yellow Chuck Taylor All-Star tennis shoes. On his feet & in the shoes are red & yellow striped knit socks. Moving up his body, he wore a paint of high water burgundy red tweed slacks with a black plastic belt. His belt proudly told anyone who read it that Virginia is for Lovers! Partially obscuring anyone's view of the belt buckle is his mustard yellow/sangria red striped knit sweater vest. Under the vest is a mustard yellow dress shirt & his tilted to the left a bit fire engine red bow tie. His maroon colored red hair is done up in what looks like a messy attempt at a pompadour. He also had on a pair of glasses, they were the kind that would would get at movie theaters if you were going to see a 3-D movie. "What do think it all means?" He said as he reaches into one of his coat pockets & pulls out a small plastic bag of jelly beans. He reaches in, grabbing a handful of the small candies & pops the whole handful in his mouth. He offers some to his fellow companion but the offer is turned down. He then returns the bag to coat pocket he got them from. He continues to talk but what he was saying is muffled by the candies in his mouth. His friend is dressed as follows: He had navy blue canvas Chuck Taylor All-Star tennis shoes. On his feet & in his shoes were a pair of argyle socks. He wore a well-worn, ripped in places, pair of blue jeans. Moving up the body, he had a unbuttoned red & black flannel shirt on. Under the flannel shirt was a dark grey t-shirt. It was for the band Inflatable Monkey & was sold on their '98 tour. The shirt, much like the pants as well worn. It had the Band's logo/mascot: a big, pink monkey shaped balloon animal. He had messy, dark brown hair & a pair of black horned rimmed glasses which were slight askew. On his back worn like a backpack was a seen better days Accordion. "I know it's says I'm a Pepper, your a Pepper, wouldn't you like a Dr. Pepper, too. But what do you think it means?" The taller of two asked, he has finished his jelly beans by that point. The two of them were staring at billboard. These two men go by the name of Ronald Arnold Gerrimoto Beeslyhuxtoy (to his friends he is Ronnie) and Chadwick L. Swiss (Chad to his friends). They had been standing there for an unknown period of time. Mostly because neither of them wore watches. As they stood there, Ronnie tilted his head slightly to the left & was now looking over the glasses on his face. They continued to ponder the cosmic importance of this decades old Dr. Pepper billboard. They stood there in silence until Chad leans over & whispers something into Ronnie's ear. "Hmmmm…" Ronnie said as he tilted his head back to it's upright position. Then continued. "So you think that this Doctor Pepper is not really a person but more of a metaphor. As in I'm a Pepper. Your a Pepper. We are all Peppers in one big Pepper universe?" Ronnie turned to look at Chad as his friend shook his head yes with a smile on his face. "Oh, now it all makes sense. I wasn't really sure what that meant. But, I'm really thirsty for some reason. I could really go for a soda or something." Chad nodded in agreement. Ronnie began to look around in all directions. There was desert, desert, desert & more desert. Off in one direction there were some mountains but no way to tell what was beyond them. "What direction should we head off in search of soda?" Chad thought for a moment. As he thought he rested chin on his left hand & looked to the sky. All that was up there was the sun & a few vultures circling around. "I'd suggest not going that way." Ronnie said as he motioned to the road behind them. "We've already been there." As Chad thought, Ronnie looked around in his pockets for something. After a few moments he found it, an antique hexagonal shaped box. He opened it & inside was a compass. The glass was broken but the needle seemed to still work as it widely moved around. It moved to the left, to the right, spun around in a circle. After a minute or two, the needle bang to even out & it settled on a one direction. "I think it wants us going forth." Chad took a look at the compass & agreed with that statement. The two of the them started walk down the road, away from that billboard. "And that, as they say was just the beginning." "Wow." His date said as she watched him with one eyebrow raised. "That's some tale." "Perhaps we should continue it.. " He said & paused for a moment to lustfully look into her eyes. "…somewhere else." He said as he took on last gulp from his glass & then sat it down onto the table. As he looked around for the waiter, he began to felt a bit woozy but brushed it. By now they were the last patrons in the restaurant, but the staff didn't seem to be paying much attention; there seem to be no-one to bring them the check. He pushed back his chair to get up & look for a waiter. As he did and tried to stand, he slid awkwardly onto his knees. He looked over at her as she said. "I'm sorry, Ramon. This was the only way." He clutched at the tablecloth as the floor lurched towards him; he heard distantly the clatter of falling glasses, plates & silverware. Voices began to mingle, lights dimmed. Just before he is vision blurred & his eyes closed, Ramon saw her standing there over him. He closed his eyes for a moment & then opened them again to see two abnormally tall cloaked men on each side of her. He knew he was in trouble. After he had past out she kelt down, gently caressed his face & said "Don't worry, Ramon. It'll be ok, I promise." "Was this all worth it?" One of the them said with with little to not inflection in their voice as the made a sweeping moment with their right arm. They sounded tired, exhausted, empty or perhaps just disappointed. He & his companion's faces where partially shrouded in shadow due to the hoods of their cloaks. She looked up at them with a look of anger. "Of course it was!" Her voice seemed to echo in the empty restaurant. "I didn't just spend months setting this up for nothing." The two of them looked at each other. "Did you get what you wanted?" The other said. She looked down at Ramon & sighed. "I guess so. It wasn't much but I have spend way too much time on him. It was time to move on." "Good." One of them said as they moved quickly over to her. "What? Wait? What are you doing?" She said they placed their right hand over her face. "You can't do this to me!" "Yes we can. Our debt to you & your kind is now paid in full." Said the other. She let out one final scream then there was a peaceful silence as her lifeless body fell to the floor. The two of them disappeared just as the waiter exited the kitchen to see how his customers were doing. He knew he shouldn't have taken that smoke break. His boss is going to be so pissed. Footnotes - The ending is a reworked merging of the endings submitted by WGMY 104.1 & Yo. Thank you to Al & Ian for also submitting possible endings to this story. | ||||