Adventures in Parodyverse: Underworld Part 1


    The Psychic Samurai parked her new bright red Porsche Cayman along Molly Avenue just outside of Mangatown, in front of a very expensive looking six story condo complex.  A few people walking by looked at the car, but they moved on quickly when they saw the driver.

    Chiaki Bushido climbed out of the car wearing wraparound sunglasses and an unusually patterned red and white shirt with black jeans.  Her heeled black leather boots made the slightest sound as they touched the pavement.  She moved very quietly, quickly, efficiently, and those movements made her appear more predator than prey.  She reached in and grabbed her sword, slipping the strap over her head as she approached the condo nearby.

    In front of the shiny steel and glass building was a Japanese man in a black suit and dark sunglasses.  Though he dwarfed her in size, he looked frozen as she walked past him - he remained perfectly still, his hands clasped at his belt line.

    The door opened automatically as Chiaki approached, and she headed across the green carpeted, mostly dark and silent lobby to the elevator.  It made a quiet ‘ding’ sound, and opened as she approached.  The person she came to visit knew she was coming.

    That particular elevator was an express to the penthouse.  Once Chiaki was inside, the doors closed, and the elevator moved very quickly.  She took off her sunglasses and hung them from her shirt.  The ride felt like rollercoaster as it ascended the six floors in about a second.  Then the doors opened again.

    Just before the penthouse itself was what appeared to be another lobby.  This one was very bright with a skylight overhead, and a huge pond in the center, with a small waterfall.  Chiaki had to walk around the pond to approach the entrance to the condo itself.

    Once again, the door opened as she approached, but this time it was a young female in a pink kimono.  She bowed twice to Chiaki and welcomed her in Japanese.  Chiaki returned the bow and entered.

    The condo she entered was two floors - the bedrooms were above.  A balcony led from them to a stairway at the far end, where it partially crossed the giant floor to ceiling windows along one entire wall.

    The living room was located in a pit just in front of those windows.  Above it was a bar on one side, and a kitchen on the other.  Various doors below the bedrooms led to other rooms like bathrooms and an office.

    Her host was sitting on a thick pillow in the middle of the living room, at a small table, wearing a custom tailored pink suit.  She had just prepared tea.  

    Chiaki slipped her boots off and left them beside the door next to a pair of pink high-heeled shoes.  She handed her sword to the attendant who answered the door, who then hung it on a hook above the shoes.  Then the attendant quickly disappeared into one of the ground floor rooms.

    The Samurai approached the table and the pink-suited woman, and she bowed once.  Then she kneeled and settled in across the table, and waited for a cup of tea to be poured before she spoke.  It was the Western way to get straight to the point; the Japanese way was to wait until pleasantries had been exchanged.

    Finally, Chiaki spoke.  “You wished to see me, Akiko?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I hear you’ve been offered a contract.”  Akiko Masamune finally got to her point.

    Chiaki smirked that that.  “It was offered by someone quite stupid, really.  One of the Lair Legions’ foes attempted to contract me for an assassination.”

    Akiko smiled too as she watched the Samurai sip tea.  “Who would the target have been?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Targets.”  Chiaki corrected her.  “Hatman and Visionary.  Apparently it’s someone who seeks to cripple the Lair Legion by cutting off its head.”

    Akiko thought for a moment.  She then asked, “Do you agree this is a blatant intrusion on my territory?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nani?”  Chiaki asked, reverting to her native language to show she didn’t understand entirely.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Visionary has served me many favors.”  Akiko clarified.  “Essentially he is my territory.  No one has the right to assassinate him but me.”

    The Samurai paused, but not too long as to give the impression that she considered her friend’s thoughts to be a little strange.  Sometimes Akiko was far from direct, and even a little too poetic in her expressions.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I want you to take that contract,”  Akiko concluded.  “So that no one else does.”

    Chiaki started to understand.  She smiled.  “You want me to prove to be a quite incompetent assassin.”

    Her former boss shrugged and sipped some tea.  “Who would dare punish you for failing?  Or dare to take the contract from you and give it to someone else?  They’ve made a grave error in asking you at all.  What did they offer you?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“There was no offer,”  Chiaki replied.  “It was blackmail.  If I did not accept, they would kill you.”

    Akiko put down her tea.  Her expression turned from friendly and quiet to pure, boundless rage.  In a very controlled calm, she picked up the cell phone on the floor next to her.

    She then cleared her throat, and told Chiaki, still with an icy expression on her tightly pressed together lips, “I’m glad we could speak today, sister.”

    Chiaki immediately took the hint.  She knew that meant Akiko wanted to make a phone call, and the content of that call would be something that was far from appealing to Samurai sensibilities.  She stood, bowed once, and walked to the door to retrieve her boots and her sword.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I will call you as soon as I have accepted the contract.”  Chiaki reassured her friend.  She bowed again, and Akiko quickly returned the favor.

    As Chiaki rode the elevator back down to the lobby, she worried.  Her friend Akiko still had many underworld connections, but her world was shrinking.  She wondered if it was shrinking far too fast.

    Once Chiaki was sitting in her car again, she picked up a cell phone hidden in the center console - not hers, one that arrived by courier earlier in the day - and she sent a single text message to the only number in the address book.

    It read, “I accept.”


TO BE CONTINUED


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2010 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin