Ã¢â‚¬Å“This is new,” Hatman admitted as he sat himself down on the visitors side of the leaders desk. “You do know as leader of the team you have dibs on my old office right?”

    CSFB! threw a mini-basketball at the hoop hanging from the office door, his feet up on the desk. The ball swished through the net. “Nah, it's a little stuffy for my taste, no offense. It's more Mumph's speed than mine.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah, I can see that.” Hatman supposed that the windows in his old office would be taking up valuable poster space, and Dream had quite the collection to display. The two sat in an uncomfortable silence before Dream couldn't take it anymore.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Look Hatty, let's just shoot straight with each other and cut the bull#^(%,” the leader of the Lair Legion said to his old friend. “You put a team together without telling me and I'm a little pissed.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Really? You decided to assemble a superhuman army and didn't tell me about it,” countered Jay Boaz. “What were you thinking?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Maybe I was thinking that as the new leader of the Lair Legion I didn't need the old guard to hold my hand,” snapped the wired wonder. “I had a chance to make a real change and I took it.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“That's what I'm doing, only I actually ran it by the proper authorities and have full government clearance to operate,” Hatman responded sharply. “I appreciate what you were trying to do, but dammit Dream, we don't live inside of a comic book. Things are more complicated than just punching out the bad guys.”

    CrazySugarFreakBoy! could feel his temperature rising. “I don't care what the government has to say. If people need help, I'm going to help them. That's what superheroes do.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Obviously I'm on board with helping people, but we can't scare them either,” retorted Hatman. “I know most of the heroes you wanted to recruit and even I was frightened by what you were doing.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I'm scaring people by organizing heroes, so you put together a team of villains? And then you put Killer Shrike in charge?”

    Hatman sighed. “Firstly, Killer Shrike isn't in charge, Goldeneyed is. And secondly, the team psychologist recommended someone with a shady past in a leadership capacity to put the other recruits at ease.”

    CSFB! paused before starting a new rant. “You have a team psychologist?”

    Hatman nodded. “It's part of the rehabilitation process. Vizh recommended her.”

* * * * *

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I really don't get why I have to be here,” grumbled Simon Maddicks. He was laying down on a plush couch with his arms folded across his chest.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, it's your dime dollface,” chirped Ms. Pfeffercorn, official psychologist of the Abandoned Legion. “Okay, it's not your dime, but rather a bunch of dimes from a joint sponsorship between the United States government, SPUD, and a mystery benefactor that is yet to be revealed...the point is I'm getting a nice chunk of change to be here, and that's what's important, isn't it?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So again, why am I here?”

    Ms. Pfeffercorn shrugged her petite shoulders. “Cause otherwise the feds throw you in prison for crimes you've committed as part of your dark, sordid past?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Point,” conceded the deputy leader of the Abandoned Legion. “So is this where we talk about my childhood and how I've been screwed up since I was a kid?”

    The psychologist blew a bubble in her chewing gum until it popped. “I was gonna start with what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is a shrike, but whatever floats yer zamboni.”

* * * * *

    Hatman pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, Dream, I get what you were trying to do. Organizing our efforts on a wider scale isn't a bad idea, we just need to take things a little slower.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Maybe,” conceded the wired wonder. “But considering my efforts with the Globetrotting Gangbusters you probably could have asked for my advice on what you're doing with this new Abandoned Legion.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Granted,” agreed Hatman. “Although I'm not giving these guys new identities like you did with the Globetrotters. I want the public to see a rehabilitated Anvil Man, not just a new superhero.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“In my defense, I had to work with guys named Rainbow Raider and the Slug,” Dream reminded him.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Touche.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anyway, I'm going to be announcing some new plans for the team that I think you'll be cool with, and really once I get over trying to be mad at you the Abandoned Legion is a good idea.” Dream launched another shot at his basketball hoop. “You guys aren't planning on bunking in the Mansion, are you?”

* * * * *

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Wow, you guys live it up in a mansion and we get this?” asked Anvil Man.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Beats a ten by ten cell, I'd imagine,” shot back Goldeneyed. He was still getting used to seeing Anvil Man in civilian clothing. The new leader of the Abandoned Legion had brought along his newest recruit to check out their new digs, and they would draw too much attention walking around in costume.

    The normally-armoured behemoth snorted. “Not by much.” He looked over the building they were about to enter and shrugged. “At least there should be beer.”

    With that, the pair walked through the doors of Larry's Bowl-a-Rama.

* * * * *

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The way I see it, you owe me one for not telling me about your Abandoned Legion plans,” said CrazySugarFreakBoy!. He absentmindedly toyed with his yo-yo as he reclined in his chair.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh really. And how do you figure that?” asked Hatman.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Because I'm going to ask you a favour and this way we're still square,” grinned the wired wonder.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What do you want?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I want my sister on the team.”

    Hatman blinked in surprise. “You want PsychoAcidPervGirl! in the Abandoned Legion? Why?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“A few reasons,” Dream admitted. “Wendy is working through her own quest for redemption right now. She's exactly the kind of candidate you're looking for, isn't she?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I guess so. Why not put her on your Gangbusters team though?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Because at some point if she's really going to leave the Dark Side behind she needs to do it without me holding her hand. If I'm around she might do the right thing just not to disappoint me. She needs to learn to do the right thing because it's the right thing.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Alright, let me talk it over with Goldeneyed and I'll let you know,” said Hatman. “I may have final say on roster selections but Bry has to be a part of the decision.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Wouldn't have it any other way,” CSFB! smiled.

    Hatman leaned back in his chair. “Any other questions?”

* * * * *

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Have you inserted the element yet?” asked Pelopia.

    She stood beside the diabolical Dr. Moo, looking at an identical duplicate of the servant of order. Dr. Moo had cloned Pelopia and inserted an artificial intelligence based on the circuitry of the Autobot and Junior Lair Legionnaire Glitch.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I'm still running diagnostic tests on the compatibility of the AI with the organic clone,” Dr. Moo impatiently explained. This was why she often avoided contract work, she hated explaining the basics.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Preliminary data?”

    Dr. Moo tapped some keys on the control tablet she held. “There's one little blip I haven't been able to nail down, but otherwise everything is going as planned. You did pay for the best after all.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Do you project that this...blip, will cause a problem down the road?” checked the priestess.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Most likely it will correct itself once the Impossibilitium is inserted in the subject. The Autobot's artificial intelligence is designed to run with an Imagineseum interface, and the lack of the element could be causing the error,” reasoned Dr. Moo. “The random nature of Impossibilitium makes it difficult to predict how it will react, as you well understand.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Very well,” said Pelopia. “You may proceed with the Impossibilitium infusion with my permission.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You're the pay cheque. Beginning Impossibilitium infusion.” She tapped some keys on her tablet before a new thought occurred to her. “What're you naming our baby here, by the way?”

    Pelopia told her.

* * * * *

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So what's the plan for your alternate universe double?” asked Dream. “At the least you have to tell him he has to grow a goatee. It's in the rules.”

    Hatman sighed. “I don't think Doorman cares much about the rules. The Abandoned Legion will be going after Quake and the Suicide Blonde, Doorman will be my problem.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Cause it's personal?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Partially,” Hatman had to admit. “I also need him to help clear the Abandoned Legion's name in the Obliterator mess.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I thought you said the new team was cleared by the government?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It is, but public perception is important, and right now the public thinks they've seen me endorse the capture of the Abandoned Legion for a string of murders in GMY. If I can expose Doorman it will go a long way to clearing things up with the public.” Hatman removed his cap to scratch an itch on top of his head, then replaced the hat. “He's got plans for Gothametropolis too, I just have to figure them out.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The amount of time you spend in GMY, I'm starting to think you don't love us anymore,” grinned CSFB!.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, I'm not leader anymore, I've got to fill my time somehow.” Jay paused before continuing. “The Foundation is taking up a lot of my time, but the work I'm doing there won't succeed in the long term if I don't do something about Boss Deadeyes and the crime problem.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So it's personal.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Alright, yeah, it's personal.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, I can get behind that. I just hope this side project doesn't detract too much from your Legion work,” the leader of the Lair Legion warned his teammate sternly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Says the guy who commutes from Seattle.”

    Dream couldn't pretend to be serious any longer. “Yeah, you got me there. I've got your back Hatty, no worries.” He bounded from his chair and snatched a rolled up paper from on top of the filing cabinet. “Now that all the boring grown up talk is done, I wanted to talk to you about some of the other changes I've got in mind. Wanna see my plans for the Lair Tree Fort?”

* * * * *


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“This doesn't exactly strike me as a secret headquarters,” said Anvil Man as he observed the patrons in the bowling alley. The pair made there way to the lane marked “Out of Order” at the north end of the building.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It will in a moment,” Bry assured him. “Come stand over here.” The teleporter indicated the spot next to him.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I'm not holding your hand,” grunted McGillicudy as he compled.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Feeling's mutual big guy,” agreed Goldeneyed. “Alright, down the rabbit hole we go.”

    Goldeneyed reached down to press the pin reset button. At the end of the lane the pins were pulled up and the floor fell away to reveal a set of stairs leading below. He motioned for Anvil Man to follow him down. “There's an old SPUD mobile command center beneath the bowling alley,” Goldeneyed explained. “SPUD has granted us permission to use it as our base of operations.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And didn't we just reveal our headquarters to all of these civilians?” asked the puzzled powerhouse.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nah, holographic cloaking field masks our presence, we're good. SPUD loves their toys,” said Bry. “Al B will probably hook us up with a dimensional shunt or something later.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah, sure,” said Anvil Man distractedly. “Do we get a tab at the bar upstairs?”

To be continued...