Ã¢â‚¬Å“Freeze!” shouted a police sergeant as he and his colleagues trained their weapons on Killer Shrike and Citizen Z. They had just been identified as the perpetrators of a series of murders by Hatman, or rather his alternate-reality counterpart Doorman.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We need back-up, now!” shouted another uniformed officer into his radio.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Don't worry officer, I won't let them harm you,” Jay Boaz assured the men in blue. He was going to enjoy putting Killer Shrike in the prison's hospital wing; he hadn't had a decent work-out in weeks.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We can take 'em,” snarled Killer Shrike as he powered up his electrified talons.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No we can't,” responded Chiaki Bushido, the woman behind the Citizen Z mask.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No we can't,” admitted the butcher bird, “But I can carve Hatman's face off before we go down.”

    Down the street the police were also surrounding Anvil Man and Harvester. “Put your hands behind your head convict!” commanded an officer. Anvil Man had been broken out of the SAFE by Quake, but as far as the law was concerned he was an escaped prisoner. Harvester was an unknown quantity they weren't taking chances with.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, these guys kidnapped me!” Anvil Man said, even as he knew the police wouldn't believe him. It wouldn't be the first time he kicked in the heads of law enforcement.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I was just in the neighborhood,” Harvester claimed. It was only a partial fib.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We can't hurt them,” Chiaki said to Killer Shrike. “We must surrender.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Like hell,” spat Simon. “I get taken in, I might not get out.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Stand down, ruffians!” commanded the man in the Hatman costume. “Surrender to the proper authorities.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I am so gonna gut him.” A golden flash interrupted Simon before he could make good on his threat.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Not today you aren't,” said the newly arrived Space Warped. “Let's go.”

    With another flash, the Abandoned Legion and criminal associates were gone.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Didn't see that one coming,” Doorman said to himself.

* * * * *

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Argh!” grunted Space Warped as Killer Shrike slammed him into a wall.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And just where were you when we were fighting the Obliterator, huh?” spat Killer Shrike. “Are you in on it too? Huh? Are you!”
    With a golden burst Simon's electrified talons clattered to the floor behind him. “Yes and no,” he said before teleporting himself out of Simon's clutches. “I'm not Space Warped. I'm Goldeneyed.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“That would explain some things,” Chiaki muttered to herself. She pulled the mask from her face and shook out her hair.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Do you always unmask in front of the villains?” Bry asked the Psychic Samurai, nodding his head at Harvester and Anvil Man.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The Citizen Z disguise I took on has served it's purpose. Now that Citizen Z is wanted by the authorities, it makes the most sense for me to discard the identity.” Chiaki divested herself of the purple gauntlets and tossed them onto the floor with her mask.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, you guys busted me out, I wasn't given much of a choice,” Anvil Man protested. “If I go back now, I'm looking at additional time on my sentence.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“He's right,” Chiaki agreed, “He will be in trouble.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I still wanna know what your angle is here,” Simon said, refocusing the conversation on Goldeneyed. “Why were you on the roster as Space Warped?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I was planted on the team by Hatman,” Goldeneyed began to explain. “The real one.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I knew that couldn't be Jay,” Chiaki confirmed to herself.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Whaddya mean the real one?” Simon had a feeling he'd been played for a sap and he didn't like it. At all.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You guys were being played,” said Goldeneyed. “We knew someone was posing as Hatman, organizing a team of supervillains posing as former members of the Lair Legion. I picked out that the Sersi was actually the Suicide Blonde right away, but until your battle with the Obliterator I hadn't recognized Quake dressed up as Premiere.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So why was I recruited and left in the dark? And why did he allow the samurai broad on the roster?” asked Killer Shrike.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“He wanted a patsy,” piped up Anvil Man.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How would you know?” asked the irritated butcher bird.

    Anvil Man shrugged. “Isn't it obvious?”

    The rest of the group nodded their heads in agreement.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I hate you all,” muttered Simon darkly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And on that happy note, I'm outta here,” piped up Harvester.

    Goldeneyed teleported in front of him. “Not so fast, manure-breath.”

    Simon snickered. “That the best you can come up with?”

    Goldeneyed ignored him. “I know there are warrants out for your arrest. I have to turn you in.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I helped to save the whole planet,” Harvester argued. “Isn't that worth a walk?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“He has a point,” Chiaki said.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I'm not letting him go,” said Goldeneyed with more authority.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And what about me, huh?” said Anvil Man, imposing himself between the Legionnaire and the automaton. “You gonna take me in too?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It is doubtful you can defeat both of them,” pointed out Chiaki.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You're not helping,” Goldeneyed retorted.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Maybe I can help,” said a new voice.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You!” snarled Simon. He lunged at the newcomer, his talons lashing out to disembowel his target. Unfortunately for Simon he forgot that Goleneyed had removed his weaponry, so his target was able to deflect the attack.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“At ease Shrike,” said Hatman. “I'm the real deal.”

    Simon snorted. “Like it makes a difference. You'd still look better without a face.”

* * * * *

    Mean Machine grunted as he was slammed into the wall. He licked the oil that trickled from his olfactory input and grinned. “She's a feisty one. I like her.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The feeling's not mutual, scuzzball,” said Glitch, the Junior Lair Legion's resident Autobot.

    The Imaginesium-powered heroine pulled a pulse blaster from a compartment in her hip and fired some random shots at the approaching wave of Copy Machines. She then transformed into motorbike mode and rammed into Speed Machine.

    Transforming back to robot mode, Glitch assessed her options, and they weren't good. Activating her communications array, she sent out a call for help to the Junior Lair Legion. “Glitch to JLL! Kerry, Gaz, anybody!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Media blackout,” grinned Media Machine as she jammed all transmissions in the area.

    Before Glitch could respond Mean Machine was on her again, deadly blades slicing through the air. One caught her in the arm and tore through her exo-structure. “Agh!” she cried out in pain.

    Transforming again, Glitch turned her high beams on Mean Machine, temporarily disorienting his optic sensors. Faced with the choice of flight or fight, she had no choice but to flee.

    Glitch roared past Mean Machine and squealed through the clump of Copy Machines. “Stay on her,” growled Mean Machine as his vision returned to normal. Speed Machine and Street Machine took off in pursuit.

    Mean Machine watched them go. “Make her scream.”

* * * * *

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So you were testing me?” fumed Killer Shrike.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We let events play out,” countered Hatman. “We learned through...sources I'd rather not reveal,” Hatman paused to look at Chiaki, “that gang lords in GMY were being attacked by a group masquerading as a group of former Legionnaires and associates.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So we decided to investigate by inserting me on the roster,” continued Goldeneyed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So you were standing by while those guys got offed?” checked Killer Shrike.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I was there as I teleported them out and replaced them with SPUD Life Model Decoys,” corrected Goldeneyed. “You just thought you were killing them.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Which is a problem,” said Hatman grimly. “However, to be fair, you thought you were working for me, and I realize that changes the scenario. Plus you really put the public's interest above your own against the Obliterator.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So did we,” piped up Harvester, speaking for himself and Anvil Man.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I'll get to you two in a minute,” Hatman told him sternly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Let's stop screwing around,” said Simon. “Are you sending us up the river or not?”

    Hatman sighed. “No, I'm not.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Like you could stop me from walking anyway,” snorted Anvil Man.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I'm drafting you.”

* * * * *

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“String her up,” commanded Industrial Machine. Mean and Speed strapped the struggling Autobot into a restraining harness.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You guys cheated,” complained the Junior Legionnaire. “I was doing just fine until you started firing on the crowds.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So predictable,” chuckled War Machine, the Machine Shop's strategic specialist.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It's time,” said Industrial Machine. “Copy?”

    Copy Machine stepped forward and placed its hands on Glitch's head. The automaton concentrated and reached out with her other hand and placed it on a nearby mainframe. A high pitched hum filled the room.

    After a few minutes Copy let go. “It's done,” she confirmed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Excellent,” said the diabolical Dr. Moo, who Glitch had been unable to see from her prison. “Then we can begin.”

    Whistling a tune to herself Dr. Moo began to download the copy of Glitch's core programming into the cloned body of Pelopia, Disciple of Logos.

* * * * *

    Akiko Masamune did not often take meetings outside of her own stronghold. As one of the most powerful crimelords in Parodiopolis people came to see her, not the other way around.

    This was an exception. A neutral location had been chosen, and was being watched by dozens of her personal guard. She had no doubt that the man she was meeting had done the same. Still, she had done her homework on her appointment, and knew that if she treated him with respect, he would respond in kind.

    And so it was that Akiko Masamune and Boss Deadeyes would meet for the first time.

* * * * *

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I'm out of here,” declared Harvester. “I have no interest in this.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I can't just let you walk,” repeated Goldeneyed, his eyes emitting a golden burst to get across his point.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Let him go G-Eyed,” said Hatman softly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What? We know he's got warrants for his arrest,” protested Goldeneyed.

    Hatman approached the much larger Harvester and looked him square in the optics. “I want him to take a message back to his boss.”

    Harvester cracked his knuckles. “Oh really?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah. You tell him that I am well aware of the goings on in the criminal underworld of Gothametropolis. What you've heard here should prove it.” Hatman took a step closer. “I'm not the leader of the Lair Legion anymore, which means I've got a lot more time to devote to Gothametropolis. Tell him I'll be watching.”

    Harvester pulled a cigarette from his chest pocket and lit it. “Sure, I'll tell him. I'm sure he'll be shaking in his $400 shoes,” he chuckled. “See you around.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Get him out of here Goldeneyed.” In a flash Harvester was gone.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oops, I think I missed the pier by a couple hundred yards,” said Goldeneyed in mock horror. “Hope he can swim.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So what's this drafted bull@^#$?” demanded Killer Shrike.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I want the Abandoned Legion to continue, as a villain rehabilitation program,” explained Hatman.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Like the Terminus Team?” checked Anvil Man. “I ain't doing suicide missions for anybody.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The Terminus Team concept, in my mind, is flawed,” said Hatman. “The Terminus program does not seek to rehabilitate villains, they just use villains as cannon fodder. I've never liked that outlook.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What if we don't want to be rehabilitated, huh?” demanded Anvil Man.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You can rot in the Safe, die for the Terminus Team, or gain a measure of freedom as you use your abilities to help those less powerful than you,” said Hatman.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Plus we won't kick your ass and drag you back to jail,” Goldeneyd chimed in.

    Anvil Man smirked at the threat.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“That's not helping G-Eyed,” Hatman scolded him. “And that's not how a team leader is supposed to act.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Him? He's going to be our team leader?” asked Simon incredulously. “He wasn't even there when we stopped the Obliterator!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Wait, I'm the leader?” checked Goldeneyed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We are so dead,” complained Simon.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And Killer Shrike is your deputy.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What?!” the leaders of the Abandoned Legion exclaimed together.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“G-Eyed, you showed some strong potential as a team leader when you were in charge of the Lair Legion, but the Hooded Hood kind of derailed you. I want to give you another chance at the big chair.  “You'll still be a part of the Lair Legion, but with your powers you should be able to split your time accordingly.

Hatman turned to Killer Shrike. “And Shrike, you were thinking on your feet against the Obliterator earlier. And with a team like this, having someone who's played on both sides of the fence in a leadership capacity will be invaluable.”    Hatman turned to Anvil Man. “Anvil-Man, because of your service in the Parody War, I'm going to offer you the chance to join the Abandoned Legion program.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And if I refuse and just walk out of here?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I kick your ass and drag you back to the Safe.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I thought that's not how team leaders act,” complained Goldeneyed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I'm not leader of the Lair Legion anymore,” Hatman reminded him. “So how about it McGillicudy?”

    Anvil Man thought about the situation before responding. “All right, I'm in.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Chiaki?” Hatman turned to the former Citizen Z. “I wonder if you would consider staying, at least for one more mission?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Are you sure I'm team leader?” asked Goldeneyed. “Right now it feels like you are.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Part of the deal with the authorities is my involvement in an oversight capacity,” Hatman explained. “It's the only way I could get them to sign off on the idea. You can make line-up changes and suggestions, but I need to be involved in the decision process. And I'm supposed to set the initial line-up.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What is the mission?” asked the Psychic Samurai.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hunting down Quake and the Suicide Blonde so we can use them to get at their boss,” said Hatman.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I'm in,” responded Chiaki.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I can get behind that,” Shrike admitted.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sounds like fun,” said Anvil Man.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anyone else in mind for our line-up Hatty?” asked Goldeneyed. “Four members is a little small, especially considering who we're up against.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I've got two more members for you. Wanna meet them?”

To be continued...