Adventures in Parodyverse: The Mysteries of Faite Part 3


    Faite chose the most difficult paths in forming her new life.  She could have had the Hooded Hood retcon them into existence; he offered it, in fact.  He planned it with her, right up until the last moment, when she changed her mind about the method.

    That limited her choices considerably, and she had to take advantage of pure coincidence - something rare for her in any case - to create this new life of hers.

    Rather than a family retconned into existence, Faite settled for adoption instead.  She started out at St. Jude’s because it was an orphanage - and, coincidentally, where the Psychic Samurai worked as a teacher.  Sometimes, she wondered whether Chiaki Bushido wielded a lot more power than she let anyone think - very often, the Samurai would manage to plan far ahead to put herself in just the perfect place.

    Faite, or Destiny, as she registered herself as at St. Jude’s, was placed with a foster family.  Many of the St. Jude’s orphans were, at some point, if it could be done.  The school only had so many nuns and volunteers, which meant they needed additional role models.  Once an orphan was placed, they could still live on campus if they chose - but they would have somewhere to go for holidays, and during the summer.  And once they graduated from school, they would have a family to go home to.

    She had been placed with the Stone family very recently, so it made her a little nervous to tell them what she had to.  It would have been so easy just to make them remember what she was without speaking a word - but once again, she took the difficult path, so she could learn more about the trials of humankind.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why aren’t you in school?”  her adopted mother, Michelle, asked as soon as she burst through the rear kitchen door.

    Her dad, Matthew, was staring at her over a cup of coffee.  He was in a suit, as he had stopped home from work for lunch that day.  He had the same question in mind.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Mom, dad.  I have to tell you something important.”  Destiny Stone told them softly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Don’t tell me you got suspended again.”  her dad interrupted.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, no.  Well, I might be, but I have something more important to say.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re pregnant?”  her mom guessed, her voice cracking at the end of that question.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No!  Mom, when was the last time you even saw me talking to a guy...?”  Destiny took a deep breath and calmed herself from teenage impatience, to avoid getting more angry.  

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m...a cosmic being, okay?  I’ve been since you’ve known me.  I became a teenager to hide from the Carnifex and so I could get in touch with people I’ve sort of forgotten about over the centuries.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s drugs.  It has to be drugs.”  her dad shook his head sadly, and her mom started to cry.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh, hell, I should have done this the easy way.”  Destiny complained.  “All right fine, look.”  

    Their humble two bedroom home changed suddenly.  The kitchen they stood in gained a raised ceiling, was drastically larger in size, and had a contemporary counter and cabinet system.  The dishwasher was now top of the line.

    Her dad looked down at himself, and realized he was now dressed in a much more expensive suit.  He was drinking cappuccino instead of cheap coffee.  His wife was in a pure silk blouse.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re freaking rich now.”  Destiny handed her father a set of keys.  “Here, drive your Porsche to work and quit.  Neither of you ever have to work again.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Is this some kind of magic...?”  her dad asked.  “I’ve seen magic used before.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No,”  their daughter replied.  “I changed things.  It’s what I do.  I make small changes, big changes, whatever is needed to try and maintain balance in this universe.  I’ve existed...nearly forever.  Just recently I changed my appearance to a teenager in order to fit in.”

    Her parents were now staring at her blankly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You two have given me more than I can ever repay you.”  she continued softly.  “And for that I’m so grateful.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Are you...leaving?”  her mom asked sadly.

    She shook her head.  “No.  I...don’t really want to.  But this means I have to protect you now, so you can’t tell anyone what I’ve shown you.  If you do, we’ll have to be separated.”

    Her parents looked at each other.  Then her adopted mom said, “This...is a lot to absorb, Destiny.  We’ve come to love you so much, but we’re kind of in shock.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know.”  the girl replied sadly, and she nodded.  She forced a smile and added, “Think of it as me making up for being a terrible student.”

    Both of the parents finally laughed, leaving Faite feeling proud that her sense of humor had improved so much since becoming a teenager.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We don’t really...need to be rich, though.”  her foster dad said.  “I mean, I’d like to be, but--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s my present to you.”  Faite replied.  “Enjoy it.  Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to school before I’m really suspended.”

    She walked back out the door, leaving her shocked foster parents behind, and she worried.  She wondered if they would still be there when she returned.

    Faite climbed into the back of the taxi that was waiting for her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You did good.”  Liu Xi Xian complimented her from the front seat.

    Faite nodded.  Now she was a little stunned, too.  “Thank you for supporting me.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No problem.”  Liu Xi turned around, and told the cab driver, “St. Jude’s please.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Liu Xi--”  Faite started to say to her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, I don’t want to know.”  the Chinese girl stopped her.  “I know you’re dying to tell me whether I should exist or not.  I’m afraid to know, okay?  Would you want to live like that, knowing you shouldn’t exist?”

    Faite nodded.  “Can I tell you though that you shouldn’t be afraid?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes.”  Liu Xi replied quietly, sounding a little stunned.  “I...think  it...actually makes me feel better.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Good.”  Faite said.

    The cab finally stopped in front of St. Jude’s.  Liu Xi was to continue on to the Lair Mansion.  Faite opened the door and stepped out, but then she stuck her head back in again to talk to Liu Xi.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I care about you.”  the cosmic being said quietly.  “Before I became...like this...when we worked together before...I already started feeling like you were a friend, but I didn’t really understand it.  That feeling is much stronger now, I understand now.  I don’t want to let you come to harm.”

    Liu Xi nodded slowly, and started to smile.  But that smile diminished when she worried about something.  “That...won’t jeopardize the universe, will it?”

    Faite smiled quickly.  “No, never.  I hope you’re not offended when I say you’re insignificant in the scheme of the universe.  There is nothing I can’t change to accommodate you.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Not that makes me feel a lot better.”  the Chinese girl commented.  “Anyway, I was glad to help today.  Good luck, Faite.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Thank you.”  Faite replied.  She closed the taxi door and walked back to the school.  As soon as she entered the building, her least favorite nun was waiting.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Late again?”  the nun asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I was outside talking to a close friend.”  Destiny replied honestly.  She looked up at the clock, and thought for a fleeting moment she could change the clock so the nun wouldn’t be so sure of what time it was.  But instead, she said, “I’m sorry.  I’ll try to do better next time.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’d better.”  the nun warned, as she handed Destiny a detention notice.

    Faite sighed and looked down at the piece of paper.  Detention felt normal.  It felt good.


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2010 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin