Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
Post By
Jack

Subj: Postage
Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 at 07:59:53 pm EDT (Viewed 9 times)


    Postage
Icy was examining a taco that he just bought. He decided that the picture looked more edible than the product. Some of the sour cream and salsa started to coalesce and slide off the end of the taco. Icy pitched it in the trash. At the moment he had a mission. He was going to deliver a package to his mom in Minnesota. The Parodiopolis Post Office was only five blocks away from where he stood on 3rd and Finny Street.
    
Icy walked half a block and stopped. There was an older woman trying to cross the street. Icy walked up to her and offered her his assistance. The older woman was using a walker. She wore a flower dress and a string of fake pearls.
    
“Oh thank you young man. My name is Betsy, what’s yours?”
    
“Icy.”
    
“That’s an unusual name. What are you doing today?”
    
“I’m off to deliver a package to my mom.”
    
“Well aren’t you a sweet young man. Do you mind if I join you? I’m off to deliver a letter to my grandson. It’s his birthday. It’s good that you’re here. I have such trouble remembering where things are. I’m not sure I could find the post office if you weren’t here. I feel like I’ve lost my brain somewhere along the way.”

    Icy and Betsy moved across the intersection slowly. A cab driver stuck his head out of his window and yelled at them while they were in the middle of the street. Icy turned to the cab driver and was about to ask him to be patient when Betsy yelled,
    
“Shut up and wait asshole!” Then Betsy gave him the finger. The cab driver shrank back and Betsy and Icy continued across the intersection. In about an hour, Betsy and Icy walked a block. It was a beautiful day in Parodiopolis. It was warm with a cool breeze coming off the coast that felt pleasant against your face. Betsy and Icy walked past a few interesting store windows with amusing displays. They watched two little girls play hopscotch. When Icy and Betsy walked past the girls, they looked up and said “Oooohhh a snowman.”

    At the corner where Icy and Betsy had to turn left they ran into a robot leaning up against the side of a bakery. He had an empty stare.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Excuse me,” Icy said to the robot. “Is everything alright?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, not really. I’ve been fined five hundred dollars by the City of Parodiopolis because I wouldn’t give a refund to a lady. You see I own a toy store and lately I haven’t the heart to make any more toys.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Are you going to pay the fine?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I suppose so; I have to get to the post office and mail a check.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The Post Office? That’s where were going. Do you want to come with us?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What’s your name?” Icy asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sherman.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sherman, I’m Icy and this is Betsy.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nice to meet you both,” Sherman said. Sherman joined Betsy and Icy on their way to the post office. It occurred to Icy that Sherman was in a melancholy mood and wanted to cheer him up.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Say Sherman, do you want to hear a joke?” asked Icy.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, not really.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why are you so depressed?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I wanted to ask a girl out. Her name is Nina and she works in a pet store, but I found out she has a boyfriend.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh don’t let that trouble you young man,” Betsy said. “There are plenty of fish in the sea. You just wait, you’ll find a nice young woman and then you’ll feel like making toys again.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I hope so,” Sherman said. Pretty soon, Sherman, Icy and Betsy meandered past a place called the Bean and Donut.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m pretty thirsty,” Icy said. “Do you mind if we stop and get something to drink here?” All three of them agreed and entered the Bean and Donut. They got a booth and a waitress brought them menus.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I think I’ll have a Vanilla Coke,” Icy said.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Let’s see, let’s see. Well, I just can’t decide what I want to order. If someone could make a suggestion?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, maybe you should start with a glass of water?” Sherman suggested.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re such a smart young man. I would be here all day if it wasn’t for you; that’s exactly what I’ll have.” Betsy said.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What about you Sherman?” Icy asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I don’t know. I’m sorry I just don’t have the heart to look at the menu right now.” Sherman sighed deeply.

    As Sherman, Icy and Betsy sat in their booth, a waitress looked suspiciously at the crew. She decided after a few minutes to investigate further.

    To be continued…(maybe)