Up To Specs
by
Jack L. Bryson

Sherman was a robot who owned a toyshop. He built robotic toys with limited AI. There were many toys in his shop and most of them were based on animals. Sherman kept a small zoo on the top of his toyshop. The animals, which he kept, served as his inspiration. All the toys Sherman fabricated were small and limited to moving in small circles. There were two life size robotic animals, which were very expensive. One was a metallic robotic cat, which sat on the counter and was busy licking itself. The other was a small robotic dog that sat by the entrance, wagging its tail and panting. Whenever Sherman entered the shop, the dog would jump up and begin yapping until Sherman said, “Shush boy.” The dog would sit still again and continue wagging its tail and panting until someone else entered the shop. Behind the counter were packaged robotic toys. They consisted of hippos, elephants, giraffes and the like. All of them weren’t more than six inches in diameter. They were perfect for a kid to pick up and durable enough to take some abuse.

Sherman stood in the alley between his shop and a bakery. At his feet was a box of real bunnies. He picked up the box and climbed a ladder onto the roof of his toyshop. When he reached the top of building, he set the box down. On the roof of the toyshop were several cages. Some of them were empty, and the others held various live animals. Some held birds and reptiles. Sherman found there was much more information to be gained by studying real animals than just pictures of them. When he couldn’t acquire an animal, he studied them at zoos.

There was a pet shop that Sherman usually frequented. There was a clerk named Nina who sold all of Sherman’s pets to him. She was about five feet six inches and had long black hair. She had a nose ring and several tattoos. One was of a fairy and the rest were of butterflies. She just graduated high school and landed a part time job at the pet store. Nina remembered selling Sherman a Cockatiel and a turtle. She thought it was odd that anyone buy both of those pets. The reason being that someone, even a robot, would be partial to one and not the other. Not many people are both a reptile and a bird person. The last time Sherman frequented the pet store, Nina refused to sell him any more pets. She was a little suspicious.

“You just bought three pets,” Nina said.

“But I need another,” Sherman replied.

“Why? You’re not doing something fucked up like dissecting them are you?”

“No, no. I keep all these animals and study them.”

“What for?” Sherman invited Nina to his toy store. Nina got someone to cover for her and then left the pet shop with Sherman to investigate Sherman’s activities. When they made it to Sherman’s toy store, he let her in and told the robotic dog to shush. Nina was amazed at all the robotic animals Sherman had crafted. She recognized the robotic Cockatiel in a cage. It looked just like the one she sold Sherman, but it was all metallic, clearly distinguished as a robot. The attention to detail was stunning however. It ruffled its feathers, each of which were distinct.
Sherman led Nina out of his toy shop and to the roof where he kept his animals.

“Wow, you have a zoo up here,” Nina said.

“Yes. I keep all these animals up here to study. Then I make toys based off of them.” Sherman pointed to the work bench in the middle with various scrap metal and circuit boards on top of it. There were several tools including pliers, a soddering iron, and a diagnostic probe.

“Could you make me a butterfly?” Nina asked. Sherman thought about it. He never made an insect before.

“If can bring me a live butterfly, it would make it easier for me to fabricate one.”

“Sure,” Nina said. She was satisfied that Sherman wasn’t conducting any nefarious experiments on his animals. So she returned to her pet store.

Nina’s visit to Sherman’s toyshop was a few days ago. She hadn’t brought him a butterfly yet. This morning, Sherman had purchased the bunnies from Nina’s pet store. He looked down at the box of bunnies. There were four of them. Two of them were white, one was brown and the other black. They hopped around as much as they could in the confined space of the box. He reached down and took the bunnies out of the box. Then he put each of the bunnies into a cage. He filled their water bottles and their little metal trays with food pellets.

Sherman sat down and watched one of the white bunnies. The bunny nibbled on some food pellets. Then it drank some water. He let the bunny hop around a little bit and then, he opened up its cage and took him out. Sherman weighed the bunny and measured it. Then he took out another bunny. He weighed and measured it too.

Sherman returned the bunnies to their cages. Then he sat down at his workbench to create robotic bunnies. The first one he created was life size. Once he finished fabricating the first bunny he switched it on and let it hop around on the roof. Then, he took out one of the real bunnies and let it interact with his creation. The white bunny approached the robotic one. He sniffed the robotic bunny. The robotic bunny mimicked the real one and sniffed back. Then the white bunny peed on it and the robotic bunny shorted out. Sherman picked up the robotic bunny. He shook the urine off and then dropped it on his workbench.

Sherman looked at the bunny and thought to himself for a moment. He sat down and repaired his robotic bunny. He made a few modifications, which took him a couple hours. Then he switched the bunny back on and set it on the ground. He watched the robotic bunny and real one interact again. His robotic bunny sniffed the real one and then, it lift up its hind leg and peed on the real one. The real bunny shook its head and hopped in the opposite direction. Sherman picked up the real bunny and put him back in his cage.

Sherman made two more robotic bunnies with the same specifications. Afterward, he left the roof and made his way back in the toy store. He set the robotic bunnies on the counter.
    
    As Sherman worked on a toy, two children in another part of town played together in a large house. The house was rather extravagant. The children were well off and left in the care of a nanny. The parents were not home during the day. Sometimes they were away for a couple days at a time. At the moment the parents were both away on business and the children were having an argument.

“Oh no,” Chrissy said. Patrick had run over Chrissy’s imaginary cake with his remote control tank. Chrissy began crying. She was three and her brother Patrick was five. Chrissy had long stringy blonde hair and a few freckles. She wore blue overalls. Patrick had light brown hair and wore blue jeans and a stripped t-shirt. Their nanny Roberta supervised them when she wasn’t on the phone with her boyfriend.

    Chrissy wandered into the kitchen of the ten bedroom home. She was crying and pointing down the hallway. “Patrick ruined it,” she cried. Roberta was leaning against the kitchen counter. She sighed into the phone she was holding.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Honey I have to call you back. The brats are acting up again.” Roberta hung up the phone and then called Chrissy and Patrick’s mom.
    
“Mrs. Mullen they’re at it again.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh Jesus Roberta, can’t you take care of it?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What do you want me to do?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I don’t know, just take them shopping. I don’t have time for this.” After Roberta hung
up the phone, she called Patrick into the kitchen. Patrick tentatively entered, knowing he did something wrong and was afraid he might get punished for it.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Kids, would you both like a new toy?” Roberta asked, smiling.
    
“Yeah a new toy,” Patrick said.
    
“Yeah, a new toy,” Chrissy mimicked. It was fairly chilly outside, so Roberta helped the kids put on their coats and they exited the house. Roberta loaded them into the family’s Subaru station wagon and pulled out of the driveway. She headed downtown.
After Roberta found parking, she and the children got out of the station wagon. They wandered around a bit, when Patrick spotted a sign, which read, “Toys.” “Roberta look! It’s a toy store.”

“Yes, I see that Patrick.”

“Let’s go in.”

Sherman stood behind the counter of his shop making adjustments to a toy hippo. He looked up and watched as a woman with two kids enters his store. The robotic dog started yapping. “Shush boy,” Sherman said and the dog stopped and resumed wagging his tail.

“Oh my gosh, is it a real dog?” Patrick asked.

“No, Teddy is a robot like me,” Sherman said.

“But he looks real,” Patrick said.

“Patrick, don’t say that,” Roberta said.

“It’s alright,” Sherman assured her.

“Kids pick out a toy you want.” It only took a moment before Chrissy spotted exactly what she wanted. “I want the bunny.”

“How much for the bunny?” Roberta asked Sherman.

“I’m not sure you’d want it. It pees.”

“It pees?” Patrick said.

“I want the bunny,” Chrissy cried.

“We’ll take the bunny. Shssshh. Don’t cry honey, you can have the bunny. How much for the
bunny?” Roberta asked.

“Sixty five dollars.” Roberta opened up her purse and dug out sixty five dollars. She handed over the money and Sherman gave the bunny to the little girl.

“I want something that pees,” Patrick demanded.

“All we have are the bunnies,” Sherman said.

“I don’t want a bunny. Bunnies are for girls.” Patrick looked around. He saw some racecars behind Sherman but then he looked at the hippo on the counter.

“What does that do?” Patrick asked.

“Oh, this hippo can walk around in circles and shake his head and open and close its eyelids.”

“Can he belch?”

“No.”

“Can you make him belch?” Sherman looked at the hippo for a moment. Then he opened up its stomach and made some modifications. It took him about fifteen minutes, but then he closed the hippo back up again and it was ready to go. It now walked around in circles, shook its head, and opened up its mouth real wide and belched.
Roberta rolled her eyes. “How much for the hippo?” She asked.

“Twenty five dollars.” She fished twenty-five dollars from her purse and gave it to Sherman.

Sherman handed the hippo to the boy. The children were elated with their new toys.
A couple days later a woman entered Sherman’s store. She was tall and slender. She wore black pen stripped pants and a white blouse. She looked very professional. She had stringy blonde hair, which was pulled back to reveal a contorted face. She was very angry. With her, she carried a robotic hippo and a robotic bunny.

When she entered Sherman’s store, she looked down at the yapping dog and then kicked it. The dog fell over on its side but continued yapping. She walked up to the counter and slammed the toys down on it. Then she looked at Sherman and yelled, “Did you sell my kids these toys?”

“Yes I did,” Sherman said.

Indignant, the woman said, “You sold a robotic bunny to my little girl. The bunny peed all over my carpet! You also sold a belching hippo to my boy! What the hell is wrong with you? You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way Ms.”

“You’re going to give me my money back,” the woman said, fuming.

“No, I’m not,” Sherman replied. “There are no refunds.”

“You’re just a goddamn robot. You don’t care about anything.”

“If you’re not going to purchase anything, then please leave my store.” The woman snatched the hippo and bunny from the counter. She slammed open the entrance to Sherman’s store and stormed out. Sherman walked over and gently closed the door to his store. He bent down and checked the dog to make sure he wasn’t severely damaged and, then he went about his business.