Hey guys, it's your old pal, Loopy Larry!! Take a minute to look at these INCREDIBLE DEALS!!! AMAZING SAVINGS!!!

All great wives want a GREAT blender for Christmas!! Behind every great housewife is an even GREATER blender!! Buy one for that special someone today!! The Blender Blitzer is available for only $49.99!!! Stock is limited so buy TODAY!!!

Dog needs to be taken out for a walk... and you're too cold to brave the elements?! Or you just plain don't have the time to take out Fido?!? Then get the Dog Walker Pro!! Attach this futuristic collar around your best friend's neck and watch as it leads him up and down the sidewalk for the little pooch to do his business!! It will give him a small harmless shock if its motion-sensors detect that he's wandering into the street!! Hardly EVER lethal!! And it's ONLY $99.99!!! WOW!! BUY TODAY!!!

Last, but certainly not least, Loopy Larry must tell you about this TERRIFIC DEAL!!! It was popular with the GREATEST GENERATION back in the 30's and now it's coming back into vogue!! That's right!! The POTATO SACK YOU CAN WEAR!!! Your grandparents wore it in hard economic times and now YOU CAN!!! Of course, this isn't just ANY potato sack!! It's getting a SUPER COOL GEN-Y UPGRADE!! That's right!! This is the Ionic Quadra Potato Sack made out of water-proof GORETEX and equipped with state of the art BlueTooth and BluRay technology and anything else BLUE!! AWESOME!!! This INCREDIBLE DEAL is going for the INCREDIBLE price of a federal bailout.... Just kidding, folks!! It's ONLY $299.99!!! SENSATIONAL DEALS FOR SPECTACULAR PRICES!! And it can all be YOUR'S!!!!

Go to www.loopylarry.com for MORE special holiday offers!! WHILE STOCKS LAST!!


(the preceeding is parody. don't delete)