Adventures in Parodyverse - Special Election, Part 1


    Jay Boaz gently stroked the forehead of Chiaki Bushido as she lay unconscious in bed in a private hospital room at Phantomhawk Memorial.  The doctors told him it was a concussion, but they weren’t sure when she would awaken from it.

    She was usually known as the Psychic Samurai, but more recently as the chief operations officer of the Safe.  It was her service in that capacity which led her to her current state.  And it was in that capacity that Jay, who placed her in that position, wore a deep guilt in his lowered eyes and hanging head as he turned to face two of his most trusted Legionnaires.

    Yuki Shiro responded by squeezing his shoulder gently as he walked past.  Dreamcatcher Foxglove opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but then changed his mind and simply watched his friend walk by.  He had been friends with Jay long enough to know when the man wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

    He waited until Jay was completely out in the hallway and the door closed before saying to Yuki, “He’s really messed up.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah.”  she whispered in reply.  “He’s not the only one.”

    She referred to Lara Night, who rushed to Phatomhawk when she heard that Chiaki had been hurt by a falling concrete wall.  Lara was still devastated after she realized the Samurai’s coma was beyond her ability to cure.  And she partly blamed herself for the accident, believed that she caused it by what she did at the Safe.

    The elemental blonde in question was further away than the hall just outside, where Jay stood with the back of his head resting against the wall.  Lara was in the waiting room down the hall, leaned forward on the couch there.  She was sitting quietly, worried and scared, halfway between crying and anger.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Jay can use some feminine style soothing if you know what I mean, Yuki.”  Dream suggested.

    Yuki gave him an exhausted sideways look, and then answered in her own unique way.  “If only that would work for him,”  she said.  “But you know it won’t.”

    She then nudged Dream and said, “Take the next shift watching Chaiki.  Maybe you can annoy her back to consciousness.”  She smirked at him briefly, and then left the room.  She glanced at Jay briefly as she passed him.  He was squatting on the floor, looking down.

    The purple-haired Legionnaire squatted next to him and leaned back against the wall.  “You saved her life, you know,”  she said, not really expecting an answer.  “It was your distrust of Marvellous Marv that made it possible.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You said I was being paranoid.”  Jay pointed out.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah, I did.”  Yuki sighed.  “And I was right...he didn’t do anything at all.  And yet...you were also right.  Something did happen.”

    Jay didn’t answer that.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know you heard what Dream said.”  Yuki whispered close to him.  “I meant what I told him, you know.  I would if I thought it would help.  You know why?  I hate seeing you like this.  I hate watching you...feel like a failure.  Because you’re not.  I’d do it because you deserve to feel like a winner.”

    He finally looked at her sadly.  “Thanks, Yuki.  For the thought, at least.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You know, every time something like this happens,”  Yuki mused out loud, “I can’t help but wonder where this all went wrong.”


---


Sixteen Hours Ago


    There was a crowd of people cheering, and every network was there, outside the metal barbed wire surrounding the safe.  It was a spot carefully chosen    by political public relations consultants - barbed wire looked good on television.  It’s secure, but because people can see through it, there’s an ominous undercurrent that its security could fail at any moment.

    Which is the effect Marvin Zimmerman was going for when he made his campaign speech in front of the Safe.  He had no fear of public speaking, having been Marvellous Marv, famed television psychic.

    The topic of his press conference was to emphasize one of his political promises.  He advocated shutting down the Safe, because its name was the furthest from the truth - in fact, it wasn’t safe at all.  He made the claim that it was full of prisoners who were better off exiled to other dimensions, which two local companies had access to, or secured in the dungeons of Herringcarp Asylum.

    What happened next was still up for debate.  There were many questions as to the timing of it - whether it was a prisoner timing things to purposely disrupt the press conference, or if was coordinated somehow by Marv’s publicity people.  No matter the underlying cause, the event itself wasn’t debatable.

    A villain who called himself the Human Tank, normally confined to the maximum security wing of the Safe, had crashed through the inner wall of the Safe.  The noise caused the press conference to come to an abrupt end, just as Marv made some comment about this being exactly what he was talking about.  He was then hurriedly evacuated in a police car as the crowd began to flee.

    The Psychic Samurai stood alone against him at first.  She held her sword firm with both hands and blocked the only way out.  She baited him softly with promises that he wouldn’t be harmed if he surrendered.  Her strategy only served to delay his departure - he was one of those prisoners who had ‘Call Lair Legion’ in the ‘in case of escape’ part of his file.  Warden Westwood was doing just that.

    And then the Lair Legion arrived.  Or at least Hatman did - the others were out on other calls.  He raced right past the Psychic Samurai and drove a punch deep into the chest of the Human Tank, crashing him through the outer wall into the yard of the Safe.

    It was a smart plan, from his point of view.  While technically helping the Human Tank get outside, the battle would now save a lot of damage, and potentially lives.  Hatman figured sooner or later his opponent would be unconscious or too weak to complete an escape anyhow.

    Human Tank, however, fought better close up than at a distance - so at the first opportunity, he crashed into Hatman, lifted him even as he changed to a Steelers cap to try and increase his weight and inertia, and then threw the Capped Crusader into the wall.

    The very same wall the Psychic Samurai still stood behind.  She rolled out of the way, but was partially buried in a chunk of concrete from the Hatman-sized hole that was now in the wall.  Hatman tried to aid her, but she waved him off, and encouraged him to stay on the Human Tank.  She wasn’t injured, and had plenty of time to dig herself out.

    Unfortunately, that delay allowed the Human Tank to crash through the wall again and grab Hatman by the neck, pinning him down and crushing his steel throat.  Hatman tried desperately to reach his own baseball cap and remove it.  Chiaki began pushing the concrete off of herself faster to try and help him.

    Hatman didn’t arrive without backup, however.  That backup was standing by patiently per his instructions.  She was not a Lair Legion member, and he wouldn’t have her putting herself in danger unless it was absolutely necessary.  Now seemed like absolutely necessary enough to Lara Night.

    Lara charged in through the hole, a blur of her black and white costume, as she tried to grab the Human Tank around the neck from behind to get him to release Hatman.  He only let go with one hand, and used it to swat Lara away hard enough that she bounced off the wall.

    He was sure that she had to have been knocked unconscious by the blow.  What he didn’t realize was that she bounced because she protected herself with a shield of energy.  And the Human Tank was even further distracted when Hatman freed one of his arms and punched him, denting his precious armor.

    That armor of his turned out to be his biggest flaw, because it was made of metal.  He didn’t care that Hatman stopped trying to reach for his baseball cap - he took that as an opportunity to start punching him in the face instead of a warning sign.

    A warning that metal was both an excellent conductor...and an excellent ground.

    Hatman’s steel skin protected him when Lara unleashed high voltage that exploded and flashed loudly enough to echo throughout the safe, and probably for at least a mile.  There was a distinct smell of burned flesh coming from the Human Tank’s armor as he fell, first on top of Hatman, and then tumbled with a loud clank to the ground.

    Then there was a load roar as the wall that had been badly damaged by the battle suddenly collapsed in a haze of dust.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Chiaki!”  Hatman called out.  He pushed a massive pile of rubble off of himself and started to dig frantically.  His worst fear had come true.

    The Lair Legion trickled in, then, only minutes after they got the trouble call.  CSFB!’s chaos force sent smaller rocks tumbling away randomly as it manifested his sense of urgency and fear.  Anna arrived, though nobody was sure how she found out, and she began lifting fairly large sized chunks of wall and tossing them as if they were made of foam.  Yuki was doing much the same upon her arrival.

    There were a dozen firefighters that just arrived, and Commissioner Don Graham.  Two detectives Hatman recognized, Vicky Cameron and Jack Burns, and a handful of police officers that weren’t doing crowd control outside.  They were all digging, though some of them were trying to free the Human Tank as well.
    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Wait!  Don’t move her yet!”  Lara Night called out over the crowd as they finally unearthed the semi-conscious Samurai.  She raced over, kicking aside some of the rubble, and kneeled beside the Asian woman, touching her shoulders with both hands.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Wait, let her work.”  Hatman ordered paramedics who tried to shove their way through.  He’d seen Lara do what she was about to before, and he had complete faith.

    A hushed silence fell over the watchful crowd as Lara began to glow gently in the waning light.  The glow was accompanied with a gentle electric sizzling sound.  And then, after what seemed like an eternity, but was actually mere seconds, the glow vanished.  Lara stood, stumbled back a bit - Hatman caught her before she tripped over rubble and fell.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s all up to her now.”  Lara said as she steadied herself.

    As paramedics put an oxygen mask over Chiaki’s nose and mouth and loaded her onto a stretcher, Hatman looked into the blonde’s eyes and saw a sad, haunted look he’d seen in his own many times.  The look of someone who wished they could have done more, or done better.

    Vicky Cameron walked over to Commissioner Graham and very briefly said, “I want to escort.”

    She knew Chiaki, as did her partner, and they considered it an honor to escort her ambulance to the hospital.  Commissioner Graham understood completely - he nodded, and Vicky and her partner Jack loaded into a marked police car.  They chirped the siren as they led the ambulance toward the hospital.

    Commissioner Graham then turned his attention to a weary Hatman and Lara.  “I’ll give you a ride to the hospital,”  he said, predicting their need to keep an eye on Chiaki.  “Let my guys clean this mess up.”

    Hatman reluctantly nodded, and accepted the invitation.


TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2008 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin