33 years old.

Fuck, I feel old.

And tired.

So, yeah, it's my birthday today, and my present is that I got to work until 8 p.m.

Back when I was on ship, I developed the technique of positive visualization, to help deal with working long hours.

Time to break that out again.

I'm sitting in my cubicle, trying to write my story for the day, when who should wander into the office but Elisabeth Sladen, dressed in nothing but a see-thru red teddy?

"Hullo, birthday boy," Lis coos, bending over to rest her hands on her knees, squeezing her breasts together and giving me a good look at her cleavage. "I hear that you've been writing unspeakably naughty things about me online, so I'll have to make your birthday spankings extra hard as punishment."

"Oi!" Catherine Tate objects, appearing suddenly in a crotchless aerobic leotard, with her breasts hanging out. "Don't get greedy! Leave enough time for him to watch me do nude jumping jacks, so that he can see my gigantic tits slapping against my chest!"

"Excuse me," Freema Agyeman scowls peevishly, laying naked on a blanket on the floor, with her legs spread-eagle and tubs of frozen desserts surrounding her. "However long that takes, he's still obligated to make time to eat vanilla and chocolate ice cream, and orange and rainbow sherbet, off my bare breasts and tummy, as well as from between my legs! I didn't get this Brazilian for nothing!"

"Don't forget," Mary McDonnell slings an arm around Lis' waist, clad in a see-thru black teddy to match what Lis is (barely) wearing, "we're also due to dyke out with each other in front of him, complete with fingers, fists, tongues and toys."

"Can I join in?" Yasmin Paige pleads. "I turn 17 in June, and that's well over the age of consent in the UK!"

Eh heh heh m heh ... positive visualization RULES, Butt-Head.