... Here in America, anyway. Yes, I've been downloading episodes as they've been broadcast in the UK, because the Sci Fi Channel can't bear to air any episodes of either Doctor Who or The Sarah Jane Adventures without editing out several key scenes per individual episode, but I'll only be posting about them once they air here, out of ... fairness to my fellow Americans, I suppose.

So, onto my brief but spoilerrific thoughts on "Voyage of the Damned" and "Partners in Crime:"

Two words, to sum up both episodes: Cougar companions.

Kylie Minogue was reasonably decent, but wildly overrated, as the special guest star of the latest Christmas special, but goddamn, does she still look good. It didn't help that the story itself was such a perfect recreation of all the big-budget Titanic-meets-The Poseidon Adventure disaster movie bullshit that I watch shows like Doctor Who to get the hell away from. Mr. Copper was awesome, though (in one of the scenes that got cut out, it was revealed that he wasn't any sort of recognized expert on Earth at all, but was instead simply a weary old traveling salesman, who had scammed his way into his job on board the ship, which was why he was so anxious to avoid the legal inquiries at the end of the story, not that Sci Fi felt that this was important to the plot, or anything).

Sledgehammer-subtle hint of things to come: Mr. Copper telling the Doctor that, if he could choose who lived or died, it would make him "a monster."

Meanwhile, Catherine Tate made a remarkably strong return as Donna Noble, striking a credible balance between the two most powerful, and conflicting, natural consequences of traveling with the Doctor: On the one hand, she seems to have become something of a self-taught, just-starting-out version of Sarah Jane Smith, since the Doctor opened her eyes to a lot of the possibilities that lie in wait out there; but on the other hand, without the far broader scope of experiences, resources and allies that Sarah Jane takes for granted, Donna's life back on Earth was bound to be much less of an adventure than our Ms. Smith's, so it makes sense that Ms. Noble would turn to seeking out the Doctor, and awaiting his unlikely return.

And goddamn, do Tate and David Tennant have great chemistry together. I'm no advocate for an asexual Doctor, but unfortunately, Russell T. Davies seems incapable of writing any sort of quasi-romantic couple, "requited" or otherwise, without turning them codependent, so as much as I love Martha Jones, Donna does a much better job of calling the Doctor on his issues. If Rose Tyler was the Jo Grant of NuWho, then Donna is NuWho's Tegan Jovanka ... plus, you know, with Peri Brown's tits, for good measure. And God help me, I am already shipping Ten/Donna.

But goddammit, why does Davies have to kill off all of his most MILFish villains? I demand that Miss Foster, Mrs. Wormwood and Yvonne Hartman all return, in the same episode, and have a "MILF-Off" contest against each other, which would be judged on the basis of competitive categories such as Fuckably Haughty Demeanors, and Most Seductively Repressed Wearing of a Business Suit. And then, maybe they could team up, to take over the Earth with their combined powers of Cosmic Cougar Hawtness?

As in my fantasies?

...

You know what? Let me start over. Hi! I'm Glenn Quagmire ...

Sledgehammer-subtle hints of things to come: Bees and planets both disappearing, and mentions of the Shadow Proclamation.

And when was the last time the Shadow Proclamation was mentioned? "Rose," the very first episode of the very first season of NuWho, in which the Doctor also mentioned that the home planet of the Nestene Consciousness was also gone. Now, I'm no Batman, but I can't help sensing that there might be some sort of connection there.