Adventures in Parodyverse - Training Session Part 1


    Yuki Shiro chuckled a little as she experienced first-hand one of the shortcomings of an abstract synthetic brain.  She had Anna blindfolded, and was trying to lead her to a room of the mansion.  The poor android was colliding with, or tripping over, nearly everything in her path.  Yuki had to threaten Flapjack as he tried to take advantage of the situation by moving in front of Anna.

    Most androids would simply start measuring steps to determine distance from objects.  Anna, on the other hand, could picture the hallway in her mind, but could only determine relative distance - such as an arm’s length.  Such was the failing of an android designed to think like its just as imperfect designer.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m not certain of the point of this excersize.”  Anna complained.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I had a reason for it.”  Yuki insisted happily as she stopped at a large metal door.  “But I forgot what it was when I became so amused by seeing you stumble around the hallways.”

    Anna sighed deeply in frustration, but didn’t reply.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We’re here.”  Yuki finally said.  She took off the blindfold on Anna and pulled open the door.  A rush of wind was blowing through the opening.

    The room they entered was three stories high, and had sealed walls made of a curious blueish metal.  It was so well sealed, in fact, that the rush of wind was because it always had to be pressurized to keep people inside from asphyxiating fans on the ceiling blasted air into the room.  At the top, against one wall, was a control booth with access from one of the floors above.  Under the booth were various lighting, laser, and hologram devices, as well as sensors.

     Anna backed up into the doorway again, her eyes wide with fear, as she moved behind Yuki.  It was easy hiding behind the purple haired cyborg - Anna was a little shorter.  The last large metal room she found herself in was at the SPUD base...it was practically a prison for her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Easy, Anna.”  Yuki encouraged her gently.  “This door can be opened from both sides, see?”  She pointed to a keypad next to the door.  “And I’m going in with you.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How did you know...?”  Anna asked.

    Yuki smiled slowly.  “I still remember where I rescued you from.  This is our new training facility, Al just finished it a few days ago.”  She tapped a code on a keypad next to the door, and a nearly invisible garage-sized door slid upward across the room.  Inside were husks of several large robots.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Those are--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Revamped, decommissioned robots, yes.”  Yuki finished her sentence.  “Their electronic brains were removed long ago, so we rebuilt them to resemble some of the more dangerous ones out there.  When they’re turned on, they’re controlled by the main computer in the control booth.  They aren’t autonomous.”

    Anna finally entered the room and began slowly walking around and examining everything.  “Why show me this?”  she asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Honestly?”  Yuki caught up with her quickly, and spoke softly.  “Hatman didn’t want me to, he said it might encourage combat tendencies in you.  But I’d like you to know how we train...so if you ever have to fight alongside us--”  She shrugged.  “You’ll know what to do.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I see.”  Anna frowned slightly and sighed.  “What if...what if I don’t want to fight?”

    The purple-haired cyborg put one hand on Anna’s opposite shoulder gently.  “Unlike the people at your last home...we’ll never force you to.”  she said.  “I promise, the decision will always be left to you.”

    Anna nodded, and looked down at her nervously clasped hands.  “Thank you.”  she whispered.  Nevertheless, curiosity got the better of her, and she moved to the large alcove to examine the robots.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nice likenesses, eh?”  Yuki asked, smiling proudly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You designed them, didn’t you?”  Anna asked.

    Yuki looked even more proud as she nodded.

    The android moved in front of one tall, bulky, silvery robot.  Even idle it carried an array of energy and bladed weapons.  “This looks like Utilizon,”  she observed.  And next to that one was a large robot that looked like it was made from farm tractor parts.  “And the Harvester.”  

    Both of those robots she spoke of, as well as the unrecognized ones next to them, dwarfed Anna, making her seem like a midget among the ranks of robots.  By all appearances, any one of them could come alive and crush her in an instant.  She glanced back at Yuki and said, “These are some dangerous robots.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“That’s the idea.”  Yuki pointed out.  “If we got all our training in the field we wouldn’t last long against these guys.  You want to try them out?”

    Anna looked at the two robots again, and then around the room, before she shook her head.  “No, thank you.  This room isn’t big enough for an effective demonstration.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What do you mean?”  Yuki asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“SPUD had a much larger simulation room,”  Anna replied.  “They had me take on large war robots.  I was guaranteed to lose against them...but that was the point.  They wanted to assess my abilities and the magnitude of the conflict.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“That sounds interesting.”  Yuki crossed her arms and listened.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I was forced to learn things about me I didn’t really think about before.”  Anna continued.  “Like one of the robots through a jeep at me.  But because my senses and reactions are enhanced, I found I could dodge it, and at the same time glance it with my arm to change its direction.  I had to learn that, or the jeep would have simply pinned and possibly crushed me.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So that’s why you’re so quick now.”  Yuki mused.

    Anna replied, “Yes.  While I am quite strong and fast, I damage as easily as you do, Yuki.  Robots like the Harvester, or Utilizon, or Joan Henry are built to shrug off damage.  They can disable me quite easily...I can do no such thing to them short of destroying them.  I have no way to win.”

    Yuki smirked then, the way she always did when she had a few surprises up her sleeve.  “Anna, let me show you a trick.”  She took a remote from her jacket pocket and pressed a button.

    Both of the huge robots came alive suddenly.  Anna backed up to the still open doorway to the rest of the mansion.  She wondered if the robots could get out.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Don’t worry.”  Yuki answered her question instinctively somehow.  “If they cross that doorway they shut down automatically.”

    Anna nodded and backed up a little more, so she was behind the doorway.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Remember,”  Yuki reminded her, “You can do everything I can do, Anna.  You have a similar structure.”  She waited until the Utilizon facimile reached for her, and then she launched herself at the wall behind him, leaping just before she hit it, and then pushing her feet against the wall to gain momentum.  She crashed into the back of the large silver robot, and knocked him down on the first try.

    Yuki seemed proud of herself when she saw Anna’s wide-eyed reaction.  She clicked the remote again to deactivate the robot.  “Nobody ever taught you that?”

    Anna shook her head.  “I learn by watching...but all my trainers were human.  I could only do human things faster and more accurately.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well it’s time you stopped watching.”  Yuki told her, “and start getting creative.”

    The android closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  “I would like to try now.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“On one condition.”  Yuki replied as she held the remote.  “Don’t do what I did.  In fact, don’t do anything you’ve ever been told.  Look around this room, use what you have, and find something unique to try.”

    Anna swallowed hard and nodded, and Yuki pressed the remote button.  The large silver robot suddenly became aware of its situation - lying face first on the floor - and began to stand.

    There was a short pause from Anna, which might have been a lot longer if she was human.  During that time she rapidly glanced around the room looking for something she could use.  Still idle was the Harvester robot in the alcove nearby.  She clenched her fists tightly, remembering how she was able to toss humans around like rag dolls.  Perhaps...

    Anna raced to the alcove so quickly that the Utilizon facimile was barely able to keep her targeted.  By the time it turned around to follow her, she was discovering that the Harvester doppleganger was too heavy to lift.  Instead, she planted her feet, pivoted around quickly, and twisted the unmoving Harvester, sending it off balance and causing it to tumble on top of Utilizon, so he was trapped.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Not bad!”  Yuki exclaimed.  She clicked the remote and put it back in her jacket.  “Very good, in fact.  And you didn’t know you had that in you?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I...suppose I did.”  Anna replied calmly.  Unlike a human she also had the ability to become perfectly composed after a fight.  “I just never thought of it until you made me.  I...realized that...Harvester is made of much heavier metal.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I like it.”  Yuki said with a sly smile.  “All right, let’s take a break from this, Anna.  I want you to think about what I showed you, okay?  Think...unique.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So you...are teaching me to fight like you.”  Anna realized.  “You make it up as you go, don’t you?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Gold star for you.”  Yuki patted her on the back.  “It makes you a more versatile, harder to beat fighter...and it makes you unpredictable, so enemies will never know what to expect.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I understand.”  Anna acknowledged with a nod.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And I know just the thing to show you, to get you into the spirit of improvisation.”  Yuki said as she lead Anna back into the hallway.  The metal door shut automatically behind them.  “I have a few Jackie Chan movies waiting for you in the lounge.”



TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2008 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin