Unmoderated Part 1
Unmoderated Part 2
Unmoderated Part 3

The Negotiators Part 1
The Negotiators Part 2The Negotiators Part 3
The Negotiators Part 4


Adventures in Parodyverse - The Negotiators Part 5


    Even in danger, and slightly hung over, the Psychic Samurai was irrepressible.  She left the Lair Mansion relatively early in search of her favorite literature...magazines and small circulation newspapers she enjoyed reading.  She could have sent someone out for them, but she liked being self-sufficient, and frankly, she was getting cabin fever.

    She walked in dark sunglasses, soft leather sneakers, jeans, and a purple sweater.  Over that, a light jacket, and her sword strapped to her back.  Since the weapon was a giveaway to her identity, she didn’t bother to try and conceal her appearance with a hat or anything.

    Chiaki wasn’t a regular at this particular newsstand, but since she had visited the Lair Mansion before, she was recognized by the vendor.  He smiled and offered her the magazines she usually asked for.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Thank you.”  she said as she took them, wrapped in a brown paper bag, and handed him neatly folded cash.

    She turned around and saw a 1930’s style automobile drive by slowly.  While Chiaki had her pride, she wasn’t willing to give up her life for it.  She was smarter than that.  That’s why she turned to Anna, who was standing a short distance away - the android had been asked by Chiaki to follow her.  “You saw that?”  she asked Anna.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes.”  Anna replied.  She was silently watching the car cruise by, knowing full well that she could destroy it with her eye lasers if anyone in that car opened a window and produced anything resembling a weapon.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Good.”  Chiaki tucked the brown paper bag under her arm and started walking back to the mansion.  By bringing Anna, she could also avoid any rants from Hatman about being irresponsible.  She knew Anna would report exactly what she saw and nothing more.

    The two of them strolled together now, headed back toward the Lair Mansion, silently.  Chiaki was taking her time to enjoy the familiar sights of the city along the way.  She also stopped at a bakery to buy a loaf of fresh bread and donuts and cupcakes to share with everyone else.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I admire your control.”  Chiaki told Anna as she resumed walking.  The android was waiting outside the bakery for her.  Across the street was that same 1930’s car, parked on the side of the road.  By this point it seemed they were trying to openly intimidate the Psychic Samurai.  Fortunately she didn’t scare easy.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Excuse me?”  Anna asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“As a battle designed android,”  the Samurai explained, “You were obviously trained to attack only on orders.  Yet you broke free of that and attacked to free yourself.  Acting as my bodyguard, however, requires neither...you can’t wait for my orders, yet attacking prematurely would be excessive.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I understand.”  Anna knew what Chiaki meant.  That she had achieved a human level decision-making trait that the Samurai found admirable.  “And thank you.”

    She stopped and looked at the android.  “I’ll be sure and offer that assessment if the Lair Legion has another meeting about you.”  She started walking again and added, “It’s only fair.”

    Anna nodded, but didn’t reply.  She looked at the old car creeping along, stopping once in a while at the side of the road.  “If you wish I could request that the police stop the car and question the occupants.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No.”  Chiaki shook her head as she followed Chiaki’s gaze.  “That would only cause unnecessary bloodshed.  Besides, I’m quite flattered by the attention.”

    There was a smile from Anna as she realized Chiaki was joking, and they both laughed.

    As they walked toward the gate of the Lair Mansion, the stunulators watched them carefully but didn’t activate.  It did keep the old car at a distance, though.  On the other hand, Chiaki began to look a little saddened, as if she felt bad having to hide.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Don’t worry, Chiaki, I’m sure this matter will be settled soon enough so you can go home.”

    Chiaki smiled at Anna.  “Thank you for your kind words.  By the way...how did things go with Visionary’s children?”

    Anna’s smile widened.  “I learned how to play in sand.  I’ve never felt sand before.  We built a castle with a moat and kicked around a large beach ball.  Children are so much fun to interact with.”

    The Psychic Samurai laughed again, entertained by Anna’s excited reaction.  “I suppose I have a weakness for playing in sand as well.  I’m starting to envy you.”  But then her smile disappeared as she looked toward the car and noted, “I’m also starting to feel a little like a prisoner.”

    Anna’s expression showed sympathy for Chiaki’s worries.  Then she looked at the car too, and smirked.  “I have an idea.”  she said.  She whispered to a somewhat confused Chiaki, who then nodded in agreement.


---


    The two gangsters in the 1930’s car were frantic.  They lost sight of the Psychic Samurai somewhere at the gate of the Lair Mansion - they didn’t see her go inside, and because of Boss Vendredi’s orders, they couldn’t just assume she did, either.  They had to verify it.

    When the driver opened the door to go check, a small yet extremely powerful hand stopped it.  He looked up angrily at the short, dark blue haired girl who blocked his way.  “You better have your insurance paid up, missy!”  he threatened.

    The back door opened too, and the Psychic Samurai slid into the car.  Both the driver and passenger froze with shock.  “You will take me and my companion to see Mr. Vendredi,”  she said.  She was carrying a metal briefcase, and her sword was strapped to her back, yet within easy enough reach.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You think we should?”  the passenger asked the driver.

    He was inclined to agree with a silent nod, since the blue haired girl was now holding him by the throat, as she hung his head out of the driver’s side window.  As soon as he approved, she let him go, and climbed into the back with the Psychic Samurai.

    As they were on their way, Chiaki called on her cell phone for a taxi to meet them at their destination.  She didn’t expect the gangsters to drive them back.

    Once they stopped in front of Vendredi’s offices, Chiaki and Anna stepped out.  As they approached the door, the driver of the car decided to issue a warning.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’ll never get in and out alive.”  he warned.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We will see.”  Chiaki waited for Anna to force open the entrance door.  They both quickly stood to either side of the door, waiting until the inevitable hail of gunfire from the guards ceased.


---


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We had to get ‘em with that.”  one of the guards said as he peered warily through a thick cloud of smoke created by the gunfire.  He then made a horrible “Urk!” sound and crumpled to the floor.  Another guard wheeled around and was quickly clotheslined by the weapon of the first man.  A third guard cursed, dropped his gun, and blindly ran into the street.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How can you see?”  Anna finally asked Chiaki when the room was clear of danger, but not smoke.  Her own vision had switched to low-light infrared.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Instinct.”  Chiaki replied as she crossed the room decorated in tacky checkered wallpaper and carpeting.  “And they are quite noisy.”  She led the way into the elevator, closed the ancient iron fence guard, and pressed the top floor button.  The elevator lurched into motion.

    The top floor was empty except for Antony Vendredi, sitting at a desk and smoking a cigar happily, and one henchman, who Chiaki knew to be named Emilio Cacciatore, who remained still standing behind him.  The office was decorated much more richly than the lobby downstairs, with a shiny marble floor and heavy wood desk that had a felt writing surface on top.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nice show downstairs.”  Vendredi said calmly.  He had a few modern perks, like a monitor hooked to a camera in the lobby.  “You know what I can do to you though.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes.”  Chiaki waited until he wordlessly offered a seat in front of his desk.  She used that cue to place the metal briefcase on his desk and sit down in one of his leather guest chairs.  Anna sat in the other.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What’s this?”  he asked.  He motioned for Emilio to come over and open it, which he did.  He looked inside...it was empty.  “Is this some kind of joke?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It is symbolic.”  she said.  “Of my worth to you and your organization.”

    Vendredi and Emilio both laughed.  “This chick is totally loopy!”  Vendredi proclaimed.  He smiled and added, “I like that.”  He leaned back in his chair comfortably, waiting for more.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I wish to retire from this business.”  Chiaki explained further.  “To make my services available to the Lair Legion, and private parties.  I wish to end my involvement with Akiko’s family, with Frankie, and with you.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And you think you can what, buy your way out?”  Vendredi asked.  “With an empty case?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“With a promise.”  Chiaki replied.  “I will not interfere with the expansion of your empire.  And I will tell the Lair Legion only what I know...which will be nothing, if I’m on the outside.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And why don’t I just ensure you’re on the outside permanently by reaching across this desk and touching you...and your friend?”  Vendredi chuckled as he puffed smoke in her face.  She didn’t flinch.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“My friend is not alive.”  Chiaki pointed out.  “It’s possible she can prevent you from touching me without harm to herself.”

    For just a fleeting moment, Vendredi’s amused smile disappeared, and his black eyes looked fierce, and dangerous.  He thought for a moment...and then puffed his cigar again.  His smile reappeared, only seeming more evil this time.  “Emilio...fill up the case.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Boss?”  his henchman asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You heard me.”  As ordered, Emilio ran into the next room, presumably where the safe was kept.  Vendredi kept his eyes fixed on Chiaki as he said, “I know you’re one of Hatman’s buddies.  I want to send him a little gift.”

    Emilio returned with a plastic bucket.  He dumped stacks of cash into the briefcase and shut it as if he’d done it a thousand times before.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You see,”  Vendredi continued, “I have witnesses that I offered Hatman a gift...including you, unless you’re willing to lie to protect your friend.  If you take this case to him, you’re free, and I got him in my back pocket.  If you don’t take it--”

    Vendredi leaned forward, gently touching a tall plant that was standing beside his desk.  It wilted and crumpled into a black tangle of weed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I understand.”  Chiaki replied.  She stood slowly and picked up the metal briefcase, passing it to Anna quietly.  As was traditional in her old line of work, she and Anna simply left Vendredi’s office without another word.  The more you say, the more trouble you create.

    She could hear Vendredi laugh as she headed for the elevator.


---
    

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Now it’s time for your part of the plan.”  Chiaki told Anna once they were safely in the taxicab.  The taxi headed a few blocks away before stopping in front of an old apartment building.  Chiaki handed the driver a wad of money and promised more if he waited.

    She exited the taxi and felt refreshed that there was no older car following.  She motioned for Anna to follow, and entered the apartment building.

    There was a dimly lit, narrow flight of stairs with peeling, ugly pale green paint, and the smell of mold.  The two climbed two flights of those stairs, and Chiaki knocked on apartment number six, noting the peephole in the door.  A silent shadow cast from behind the door briefly, and the door unlocked and opened slightly.

    Before entering, Chiaki took the steel case from Anna and passed it through the partially open door.  There was a distinct ‘click’, and a female voice from inside said, “Nice.  For what?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Insurance.”  Chiaki said plainly.  “Life insurance.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“For who?”  the voice asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Me.”  the Psychic Samurai replied.

    The door opened some more, and it was plainly clear then that the female the voice belonged to had green skin and hair.  “Why?”

    Chiaki blinked, and the sound of her own words seemed to startle her.  “I have forseen the possibility of my own death by the hand of Antony Vendredi.  If it happens, I want to ensure I am avenged.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Harsh.”  Gamona shook her head slowly.  “Silent insurance?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No.”  the Samurai shook her head.  “Let the word get out, just barely, that I have insurance.  But the money stays secret.”

    Gamona nodded.  “Gotcha.”  She closed the door.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Is that true?”  Anna asked as they walked back down the stairs.  “Are you going to die?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The future is never certain.”  Chiaki told her.  “It can usually be changed.”  As they stepped outside, she looked at the busy street before her and sighed.  “We will all have some difficult choices to make.”  She then smiled weakly at Anna, and said, “I’m free now, Anna.  Let’s go home and celebrate.”


TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2008 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin