Part 1
Part 2

Writer's Note:  Unmoderated merges with The Negotiators after this chapter, since the events were happening approximately parallel.
Adventures in Parodyverse - Unmoderated Part 3


    Lara Night looked at the invitation she had been handed by Flapjack.  It was still a little dusty from when Flapjack conspicuously dropped it and said ‘Oops, can you get that?’ while handing it to her.  She didn’t fall for the trick, kneeling to pick it up instead of bending.  Flapjack was probably still sulking because of it.

    She didn’t really understand how the practical joke was supposed to work anyhow, since she was wearing blue jeans with a dark beaded belt, white canvas sneakers, and a pink long sleeved shirt.  She guessed it had something to do with him trying to pinch her rear, since there was no skirt to look up.

    The invitation was printed on red card paper, and its ink was gold, like some royal summons.  In a way, it was.  She stood before a strange, gothic, carved stone building in the middle of Paradopolis known as the Esqualine tower.  It wasn’t really a tower, though, but the name make it sound more majestic, she supposed.  The gargoyles on the ledge above were a nice touch, though a little bit spooky.

    There was a wrought iron gate, interrupted by periodic stone columns, atop a stone wall surrounding the building, except where the entrance was.  There, the iron gate reached almost to the ground.  The illusion of an ancient structure was shattered by a modern video paging system embedded in the left column of the gate, and a surveillance camera mounted at the top of the same column.

    Lara tapped the buzzer gently.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes?”  a voice echoed through the intercom.  There was a greying, older man visible on the small screen.

    She held her invitation up to the smaller video conferencing camera.  As soon as the older man saw it, there was a buzzing sound, and the gate began to open automatically.

    A chilly wind blew from the compound as the gate opened.  Lara thought that strange, and bundled herself a little better within her leather jacket, ignoring the blonde hair that whipped her face.  She read the invitation again, to make sure it didn’t say something about her doom.  It only said ‘Lara Night, your presence is requested by at the Esqualine Tower.  Signed, The Carnifex’.

    The older man, presumably a butler or servant, met her at the twelve foot high, heavy wooden double front doors.  One of them was partially ajar, and he stood in the space.  “Come right in, Miss Night.  The Carnifex is expecting you.”

    As she was led into the sitting room and offered a drink - she turned it down - she began to worry about this man’s ego, having even his servant refer to him by his nickname.

    The entrance hall was made entirely of marble, and had no furniture or paintings.  The sitting room was just to the right, and had another pair of heavy wooden doors leading to it.

    Inside that room, it looked like a hunting lodge.  The floor was rich, dark wood, the four leather upholstered chairs in a semicircle around a stone hearth.  The walls were covered in wood planks that were cut but not polished, giving it a rustic look.  Mounted on those walls were stuffed heads of various exotic animals.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“A hunter,”  Lara whispered to herself.  “Living in the middle of a city.  Very strange.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I travel a lot.”  a new voice announced.  When Lara turned around suddenly, he smiled.  “I’m sorry if I startled you.  I’m Mark.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The Carnifex.”  Lara tried to confirm.

    He nodded politely, confirming her guess.  “Please, have a seat.”

    Lara did as she was asked, sinking into one of the deep leather chairs and crossing one leg over the other.  She noted that he sat down too.  Once they were both settled, she spoke up first.  “Why was I invited here?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Because you’re unique.”  he replied.  He glanced around the room conspicuously.  “And if you noticed, I have an insatiable curiosity for the exotic.”

    She didn’t like the way he phrased that, it sounded almost like he was hitting on her already.  Nonetheless, she decided to be patient and see what he was about.  “So...what do you want to know?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’d like to know what things are like where you’re from, for one,”  he replied.

    Maybe he was only curious after all.  “My world is a little out of sync with the timeline here, so things are a bit more advanced.  Enhanced humans are everywhere.  Some have day jobs, and some, like me, are supported by endorsements.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“That’s interesting!”  he perked up as he listened to her talk.  “I’ve been thinking of getting endorsements myself.  What kind did you do?”

    She smiled, but seemed a little guarded and shy about it.  “Oh you know...the way I look, mostly clothing and hair care products.  Cars.  A few store chains.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hmm.”  He nodded, seeming to follow along.  “Why did you decide to come here?”

    She shrugged and smiled, but secretly she wondered just what exactly he was interested in.  “Something about wanting to see what was out there.  There’s so much competition for heroes at home...I thought I could go somewhere I was really needed and make a difference.  I started to get to know the people here and...I keep coming back.”

    The Carnifex was leaning on one arm, his elbow perched at the top of the chair’s arm, listening intently.  “Sounds like you’ve had quite an exciting life for someone so young.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I started when I was a teenager.”  Lara admitted.  She became serious, and tried to turn the questions on him.  Part of making this trip was business, after all.  She leaned forward in the leather chair and asked, “Now it’s your turn.  You’re about as famous here as I am back home.  So why hasn’t anyone seen you in action?”

    He shrugged.  “Nobody really looks for me,”  he said.  “I suppose everyone is waiting for something spectacular from me...like blowing up city perhaps.”

    Lara felt a chill as he said that.  She knew the comment was aimed directly at her.  How did he know?

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“But I don’t work that way,”  he quickly added.  “True to my nickname, I do things nobody wants to, and I do them quietly.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So you’re kind of a bounty hunter.”  Lara summarized.  She tried to ignore the uneasiness she felt about his last comment.  Maybe questioning him would distract her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Simplistically, I suppose that’s as close a description as any.”  He shrugged again.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What were you talking about, blowing up a city?”  she finally asked, trying to do so as calmly as she can with her heart beating quickly.  She expected that he might be setting her up for something, and if he was, she was calling him on it.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You know what I mean,”  Mark said chillingly, his eyes fixed right upon Lara.  That confirmed her worse suspicion.  “Don’t look so surprised.”  he said.  “Part of my job is collecting...information.  Being well informed makes for a better hero, don’t you agree?”

    She nodded slowly, but didn’t reply.  This meeting was starting to become a little creepy.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“By the way--”  Mark pushed the next question forward, ignoring Lara’s reaction.  “You know this enchanting Candian goddess named Zdenka, don’t you?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah.”  Lara replied distantly, her mind still racing to try and figure out what this man was up to.  “Hatman was involved with her.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Was?”  Mark repeated.  “Do you think he would mind if I...make a move on her?  I met her, and she really intrigued me.  I honestly can’t get her out of my mind.  It’s quite embarrassing.”

    A shrug from Lara was the response.  “He’s not her dad, I guess.  She’s an adult, it’s up to her to decide.”  Her response was truthful, but she couldn’t help but worry if she was giving him license to terrorize poor Zdenka.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Splendid,”  Mark replied with a smile.

    It was at that point Lara understood what the setup was.  He didn’t ask any questions about the Lair Legion - he just wanted to get to know her, and then ask about Zdenka.  Two unique forces in the Parodyverse - a master of energy, and a northern goddess.  She wondered what the connection was, besides the Lair Legion.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You know,”  Lara suddenly brought up, trying to balance any possible slip-up she made, “I suspect you want to avoid contact with the Lair Legion...Hatman will probably want to talk to you if you court Zdenka.  Just saying...maybe it’s not a good idea to attract attention like that.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’ll keep that in mind.”  Mark said quickly.  Lara didn’t believe him, though, as it sounded like a brush off.

    She sensed the end of the conversation at that point, so she stood and smoothed out her clothing after sitting in that deep chair.  “If there’s nothing else, I guess I should go.”  she said.  “It was nice meeting you on such good terms, though.  It’s a rare treat to meet someone so powerful that way.  Instead of being forced to fight them, that is.”  She punctuated that last part with a disarming smile.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Likewise.”  Mark countered carefully, except he didn’t smile.  “Let me show you to the door.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure.”  Lara waited for him to stand, and followed him through the sitting room and the main hall.  The older man opened the double front doors as they approached.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I hope I’ll see you again.”  Mark said to her as she headed out.  “You were intriguing to speak with.  And it’s nice to have visitors, I don’t get many of them.  You see, I can’t bring myself to trust too many people.”

    Lara smiled at him just before she left.  That last part sounded so sad, she regretted treating him suspiciously just a bit.  Still, it seemed like he was hiding a lot.  It was only fair, she supposed, because she was hiding things from him too.



TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2008 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin