Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Adventures in Parodyverse - Creativity Part 5


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What is it with you and pink?”  the reformed sexbot Tandi asked Anna as they waited their turn to get into a club in downtown Paradopolis called The Beat.

    Anna’s eyes were darting around nervously.  She wasn’t used to so much motion and noise outside of a war excersize.  Her abstract neural network brain did something no robotic brain would have - she missed the question.  The price to pay for simplicity was the occasional error, much like her human counterparts.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anna?”  Tandi called to her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Huh?”  Anna focused her attention on the robot next to her.  Tandi wore shorts that could only be called shorts because they had belt loops, and a top that started at her neck and had sleeves, but didn’t go much farther below that.  And paired with almost knee-high boots with spiked heels.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why are you dressed in pink and white?”  Tandi asked again, referring to the pink and white jump suit Anna wore.  “Did they brainwash you to like it?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, no.”  she replied.  “It’s all I own right now, Yuki will take me shopping tomorrow.  Though I did choose the color, it matches my hair.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’ll take your word for it.”  Tandi raised an eyebrow as she looked over the top of Anna’s deep blue haired head.  The sexbot was much taller than the android, since most men with that sort of fetish preferred them tall.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You two a music act?”  the bouncer asked the two of them when they arrived at the front of the line.

    Tandi looked at Anna again, who was confused by the question.  “He means the outfit,”  she told her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh.”  Anna replied.  She still sounded nervous.  “I’m making a fashion statement.”  she told the bouncer.  “I can play guitar though.”

    The bouncer laughed and raised the velvet rope to allow them both in.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nice work, you got us in.”  Tandi complimented her.  “Can you really play guitar?  It’ll come in handy for karaoke.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I thought that was just singing?”  Anna asked.

    Tandi shrugged.  “This is a weird club.  Sometimes it’s singing, sometimes it’s instruments, sometimes both.”

    The two of them stopped talking when they pushed their way through the swinging door that separated the entranceway from the floor of the club.  They were plunged into near darkness, except for flashing searchlights, and there was loud, throbbing music that made it hard to breathe.  That didn’t include the noise being made by people dancing and yelling over the music.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Don’t look around too much, we’ll get separated,”  Tandi said, having to speak loudly only inches from Anna’s head to be heard over the noise.  

    She grabbed Anna’s upper arm and escorted her quickly through the crowd to the back of the room.  There was another door, which Tandi pushed open and pulled Anna through.  That room looked more like a small pub, and contained a bar, a few tables, and a stage.  Two men were on the stage singing something unrecognizable.  One of the men had bright orange hair, and the other was playing an accordion.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I told you this is a weird place,”  Tandi reiterated.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I see now,”  Anna replied.

    Tandi found them a spot at the bar, next to two men who were looking them over.  Even after no longer working as a sexbot she still liked to show off a little.  “You seem a little...less rude than last time we met.”

    Anna glanced at her sideways for a moment as she sat down cross-legged.  “I was nervous.  And I’ve learned since then it’s not always appropriate to say exactly what I’m thinking.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“That’s funny,”  Tandi noted.  “A multimillion dollar nervous android.”

    A reply came to mind, but Anna remembered again about inappropriate responses.  Instead she turned her attention to watching the music act again.  She began quietly humming along, the tune was quite catchy.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How do you do that?”  Tandi asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Do what?”  Anna looked at her again.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Pick up a tune like that.  It’s not even a real song, it’s something they’re making up as they go.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh.”  Anna replied, sounding like she was distracted.  “It’s one of the benefits of abstract thinking.  It comes naturally.”  She looked at Tandi sideways again.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, no.”  Tandi looked at the two guys next to her again.  “I guess we all have things we can do that come naturally.”  She smiled at the two of them.  “I’ve always been jealous of people who can pick up a tune like that.  Now I’m more jealous because you can do it.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m sure if I work with Al B Harper I can code something for you,”  Anna replied.

    Tandi laughed.  “You’re so uptight still, Anna, in a pink and white futuristic jump suit, answering me so literally.”  She pointed to one of the men behind her briefly.  “If you really think like humans you should pick up one of these two and really get laid.  It’ll loosen you up a little bit.”

    Anna smiled and then giggled at that.  She shook her head slowly.  “I’d rather not,”  she said.  “Do you really want to know why I’m uptight?  It’s because two days ago I was in a protected little world, and now...everything around me is moving fast, I don’t understand most of what I see and hear.  I’m overwhelmed...I feel like I want to hide in a small room, but I can’t because I need to learn.”

    Tandi finally sat down too, and began to ignore the two men to her other side.  “Well geez, Anna, why didn’t you just say so?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Because I’m supposed to adapt,”  Anna replied.  “The truth is, it’s you factory model robots who are so great at adapting because you’re built and programmed for it.  Like with humans, an abstract brain falls into dreams, and habits, and becomes lost and scared.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“For a super-smart android you sure miss the obvious,”  Tandi said with a sly smile.  “All you have to do is hang out with those who are great at adapting, like me.”  She motioned toward the stage.  “Those two are almost done, and then we’ll do some karaoke.  I’m programmed for singing, so you play the guitar.”  She shrugged and added, “Maybe with your abstract musical brain you can play something really cool.”

    Anna smiled at that.  She seemed to react warmly to anything creative.  “I think I can handle that.”


---


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why are people asking me for my autograph?”  Anna asked Tandi as they walked through the crowd, back toward the bar.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Because you play guitar like a pro,”  Tandi replied.  “And most of the club-going drunk types think that means you are one.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You sing very well,”  Anna volunteered.

    Tandi smiled.  “Yeah, but I stuck to the script.  You didn’t.  How did you do that anyway?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Like when those two weird guys were up on stage,”  Anna replied, “I just hear the song in my head and think about how it should go.  I think I screwed up a couple notes though.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“If I could trade my perfect pitch for that, Anna--”  Tandi interrupted herself when the two weird guys in question approached.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m Ronnie,”  the guy with the big bright red afro wearing some kind of outfit that looked at home on stage in Las Vegas.  His friend wore a similar matching one.  “My accordion playing companion here is Chad.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nice costume,”  Tandi complimented.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What costume?”  Ronnie looked confused.  “Anyway, we came here to compliment your partner.”  He gave a thumbs-up to Anna, sticking his thumb right in her face.  “Good job!  And great outfit, very 80’s, you’ll be at the height of fashion when they come back any day now!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Um...thank you.”  Anna quietly replied, trying to keep her distance from both the thumb and the afro.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We would also like to ask if you might join us for some late night waffles?”  Ronnie asked.  Chad was next to him smiling and nodding quickly.  “Violin works the night shift at the Bean & Donut, she’s very nice.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No thank you,”  Anna piped up, trying to say something before Tandi did.  Those two strange men made her uncomfortable.  “The offer is very nice, though.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No waffles?”  Ronnie shook his head like Anna should be ashamed for turning it down.  Chad was doing the same.  “Nice meeting you anyway,”  Ronnie said.  He held up two fingers like a peace sign.  “Keep it real.”

    Anna waited until the two of them left before commenting.  “Keep it real?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You don’t know what that means?”  Tandi asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know.”  Anna replied.  “It sounds...weird coming a the man with a giant afro.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’ve had sex with worse,”  Tandi replied.  She seemed baffled at Anna’s horrified reaction to that.  “Oh I forgot, you can picture things I say.  Friendly advice...when I make jokes like that?  Don’t picture it.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes.”  Anna nodded slowly, still looking stunned.  “I’ll remember that.”


---


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hatman seems to be rooting for me,”  Anna spoke to Tandi as they walked casually through the gates of the Lair Mansion.  The stunulators hadn’t been repaired yet from their last encounter with Anna and Visionary’s car.  The android was explaining how she’s getting along with the Lair Legion.  “I guess if the leader likes me I’m okay.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How much incentive have you been giving him?”  Tandi hinted.  Anna just stared at her, so she quickly dismissed the question.  “Never mind.  I think this little side trip did you some good, Anna.”

    Anna nodded.  “I still feel awkward, but I’m learning a lot.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You were so font of pointing out the differences between robots and you--”  Tandi said, “Robots are seldom awkward, especially sexbots like me.  Humans are always awkward.  It’s pretty funny...you probably cost more than every sexbot ever built, but you have all the hang-ups of your human makers.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I suppose there are advantages to both,”  Anna responded.  “I’m learning that too.”  She stopped at the front door.  “I would enjoy another night out sometime,”  she said, surprising Tandi.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Excellent.”  Tandi said.  “Only next time, maybe you should bring a guy.  Two even, one for me too.”

    Anna laughed and opened the front door, standing behind it.  “Good night, Tandi.”


TO BE CONTINUED


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2007 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin